Settler words&music in S'ólh Téméxw, (leanpub.com/upsun) living where privilege meets precarity in MST country. she/her/they———– Novels: Midnite Moving Co., Upsun; Sweep Off Those Waves coming soon, Hair Sinister after that. —Restore All Indigenous Lands!
I’ve got a lump in my tongue and dysgeusia, loads of fun. It’s been there for a while (I previously brought it to the attention of my doc) but it’s starting to affect my ability to swallow so…. Odds are that it’s a stone, a cyst, a chronic infection of a salivary gland. Even if it’s cancer it’s not likely to be hard to treat. I’ll see the doc in a week.
Hopefully I can get that part of my head added to the ct scan later in april and then…. I’ll know for sure.
People I love are suffering and it’s a pointy feeling in my chest.
pOp, Dave D, grandbaby and Tom L. They’re ready to go in the postbox but now I’m feeling lazy and I’ll drop ’em off when Jeff and I go out to run errands later this aft. Hopefully Paul and I will be able to go for a walk. The walk around Deer Lake the other day nearly killed me. I think – and this disgusts me – that I need to spend another 350 bucks on orthotics. WHYYYYYYY
I have figured out how the rest of this chapter is going to go, but I’m taking a break. Poor Slider, holding the balance in their hands!
Right foot arch hurts so much that standing, walking, are terrible. I wore non arch support shoes for one day of running around and look what it got me, I’m gimped up fierce mama.
Biscotti is in the oven for the second bake; first bake items are sitting around looming like in the kitchen. First batch will be off to the Lunders hopefully today.
Kaossilator notes: S.60 300 bpm ga10 RG1 c´ Describe triangles in the upper half of the playing board very deliberately. Result is called ” Approaching the Derelict Slowly from An Abundance of Caution “
Bih-bah project continues. Advent calendar of Christmas carol parodies continues (the time to work on Christmas stuff is February – I will post them during Advent this year, and some of them are quite funny, so I hope you enjoy them – I did We Three Kings and I saw Three Ships this morning.) I have written about 350 words on Best Roommate since last report. I am working on a song with no name, but it’s about Vancouver, and the land ack is built into it, so I’m happy with it, also it’s on the ukelele and I hadn’t composed anything on the uke in ages, so that was good. I’m particularly liking the accompaniment, it’s not exactly unique but it’s distinctive.
I am possibly working on some more kidney grit, so no black tea for me for a while, and I should probbly lay off the almonds, but that frenz is la super hard to do when your buddy heaves two kilos of organic Australian almonds (plump, unblemished, like a lifestyle ad) onto your front steps thank you TOM!
KAOSSILATOR NOTES GAte 49, S61, 90 bpm, turn the volume up all the way, 5ths, C_; hold left thumb in bottom left corner until the gate arpeggiator drops tick tick tick percussion like noises into the mix and then slide your right index finger slowly back and forth along the bottom. Occasionally deke upwards for an other worldly yipping noise. At the end let go for the fade. Gives a very atmospheric creeping through a darkened building/alley/tunnel feel.
Waiting for a CT scan to find out if I really do have brain damage and how bad it is…. YUMMY. Not recommended.
“G-d made me trans for the same reason he made grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. So that man may participate in the act of creation” -some wise Jewish trans person whose name I don’t remember – @zfreinstatler on twitter this morning
not to whine too hard but it’s so fucking cold in the house right now I’m having trouble moving
My mental health is as bad as it’s been in years. I won’t talk about the repetitive thoughts, the existential dread, the total sludginess, my disordered eating, how fucked and excessive my sleep is. Instead I’ll mention how happy I am that Jeff ran that dishwasher this morning. No crying though – that’s a blessing. I hate crying.
I will continue to work on posting songs.
Barry has written – he got two handwritten letters in one day, one from me and one from Mary. I laughed out loud when I read that. Only laugh I’m likely to get today.
I’m hoping picking up some books at the library will provide me with some lift, but right now I feel like rocketship 9 … looks fine, fails to light two engines, crashes…. but in my case, it’s not even a spectacular memorable crash, it’s just February, the light levels, the regular thing. AND STILL NO WORD ABOUT THE EEG I’m twisting in the wind here.
I’ll call the clinic again next Monday. Many things slow down over the festive season so even though it was supposed to be ready it probably isn’t, yet.
You know Hudson & Rex is a terrible advertisement for St. John’s, right? One percent of the population is Black and that’s not how the show demographics works…. also…. you know that they have like a murder a year and so in the first episode they blow through the murder rate like theysa going backwards.
Georgia turned blue, but it was the rest of us holding our breath. FUCK MITCH MCCONNELL.
While I’m in the mood, FUCK AIR CANADA.
If that link disappears, it’s to a story claiming that Air Canada is sending influencers on holiday to sunny places to pad their advertising budgets during A GODDAMNED PANDEMIC ….I mean I knew they were slimy bastids but that’s low.
Buns dough is in the bread-maker. I really am fine with never eating white bread again if I can have yummy brown bread buns fresh out of the oven within 2 hours of conceiving the notion.
In 774 AD the biggest coronal mass ejection in 10k years hit the earth. (Per Phil Plait the Bad Astronomer.) If the same thing hit the earth today satellites would plummet, the grid would fail, the internet would fly up its own asshole and choke and it would be weeks in many places and years in others before the power came back on. So thank your lucky stars you only live in an earthquake zone, lol
I’ll be wandering over to Planet Bachelor later today.
Letters to two Daves in the mail today. pOp’s getting a very big sketch of Baby Yoda.
No progress on UPSUN.
This is from Dr. Ward Q Normal’s account on twitter @WardQNormal
The shit that’s going on in the US now WAS PLANNED and has been so SINCE REAGAN.
Allegra’s very good week continues! I got my eyes checked (onset of diabetes, BP etc) and they are VERY GOOD for 62 year old peepers. Little bit cataract in one eye, no biggie, the horrific slide in visual acuity has been completely halted, and I do not have vertical heterophoria, something that often accompanies ADD.
Walked to Planet Bachelor – a very pleasant walk, only a tiny spit of rain on the way home – and Keith cooked a vegan lunch, and they talked and I listened about the move, and they are all so excited and happy it’s just blowing my mind. I thought Paul might need some help but Katie, our matriarch-in-training, is acing it. They’re going to double pay for accommodations so they can take their time. I made some notes.
Suzanne’s ex-husband Bill died in the last few days. The story is not mine to tell. I called Suzanne and while I wasn’t so foolish as to think I could cheer her up after her loss, I did manage to take her mind off her troubles for twenty minutes and that’s not nothing. Two of her four kids are in crisis right now and this family news will not help. Please hit me hard if I complain about my children. Not everything is planning, there’s a lot of fate in there.
The family court date did not provide a resolution, and it’s now going to trial.
Mexican Gothic (by a local sci fi / fantasy / horror writer Silvia Moreno-Garcia) is FINALLY at New West library, I go to pick it up today. Jeff has biz in town so I’m hoping to do a brief tour of the retailers of New West to pick up a couple of essentials as well as the book
People are LOVING my Christmas arts! It’s pleasant to have had some fun with it.
Jan M MADE ME AND JEFF MASKS FOR CHRISTMAS!!! along with a card of a giraffe – her consulting animal – covered in scarves – lol – and the interior MERRY FUCKING XMAS which is absolutely lovely.
So the rain of course prevented any chance to see the Geminids; another year no streaks in the sky. Sigh.
Had an EEG yesterday. Taxi there and back (easier now I know with all the fucking construction down on Columbia for blocks around RCH where the taxi stand is.) The part where your hair is coated in slimy goo and it’s time for you to go home was suboptimal, and I didn’t like closing my eyes while a strobe light flashed (I was having trouble talking for about two hours after that – felt like a migraine coming on but I was fine after.) Results over Christmas will take two weeks at minimum, so I’ve diarized to call the doc at year end and find out whether the results are back, then to make an appointment.
I feel very stupid for how much I babbled at the tech. Am I that hard up for company? (nods head yes sadly) I realized what I was doing and asked her questions about her kid and her Christmas after a while and she’s got a toddler who’s bitey so I commiserated with her. Keith had a bitey phase, and passed through it with speed, but Katie was straight up mean about it just as she was coming up on a year and man, when you’re nursing it just sucks so bad. I didn’t mention that though.
I should have had a shower as soon as I got home but I delayed it until I realized that I was going to be showering while Jeff was attempting to sleep. Didn’t sing in the shower for a change, but it’s still noisy. Sorry about that brO.
Finally cleaned the veggie ichor out of the fridge so the kitchen is a much happier place to be. Today I make a vegan veggie pizza for Jeff, he wants to see if it’s different without the milk powder.
The fridge is full of tasty Indian food (the channa masala and palak paneer are so yummy) and there’s a pile of veggie samosas NOM and so the rest of the day was quite nice.
Grocery shop yesterday.
Wrote two songs yesterday. I’m about to go downstairs and see if they actually stuck in my brain.
Booked to record at a studio in New West on January 4. This year upcoming is going to be a challenge, and I hope to meet it.
Re-reading Sweetie’s House of Tentacles – my UPSUN in universe porn novel. I’d forgotten how sweet and funny it is, also how much poor Slider gets misgendered. Worked on The Best Roommate in the World – it’s now 2200 words long, if you can believe it. Poor Jesse, trying to move when he’s still recovering from the last stupid thing a sixer did to get him nearly killed.
Last night before supper time I got A PHONE CALL FROM TOM. He’s still in the hospital, but he’s got his phone and charger, and he was getting a magnesium iv, and he was bored out of his gourd, so he thought he’d give me a call.
And it was most wonderful. I tried to be friendly, bracing and accepting of his situation. He says where they cracked his chest he’s healing so well you can hardly see it; but he also says he’s absolutely freezing all the time, and that’s really not fun. I told him to start making a list of the things he needs to do when he gets out of durance vile. He said I’m gonna go home and build the biggest damn fire in the fireplace and park myself in front of it until I actually FEEL WARM.
He should be out this week.
So I’ll mail him one more letter and then go back to emailing him if he wants.
I’m really hating keeping a food diary. Right now I want to boot Jeff out of his bed like a cartoon character and make him drive me to the Timmy Ho’s on Marine for coffee, but nooooo gotta be abstemious.
Yes, there was an election. No, it isn’t settled. Even if the worst happens, the world survived before, and it will keep surviving. My story isn’t done, neither is yours.
This is a long boring text-heavy oversharing post, ya been told.
He sailed through the surgery. He’s COMING HOME THIS WEEK.
words don’t cover how heartened by this I am
