Category: Urban living

Self-checkout fun at Crappy Tire

The new local CT has a bunch of those newfangled self-checkout things. I generally use those when available as they seem faster than the alternative.

Yesterday I was there picking up a bread maker. When I started the checkout process, the attendant for the self-checkout stalls was patiently trying to explain something to the woman at the stall next to mine. Whatever. I scanned the breadmaker box and obediently placed it on the platform at the side of the self-checkout machine. So far so good. Keep in mind that I’ve had problems with these machines before, but usually the reason is obvious. Once a machine gagged on an item I was buying because it was flagged as a hazardous chemical. Thanks to 9/11 no doubt.

Anyway, things were chugging along and then the machine suddenly stopped and said “WAIT FOR ATTENDANT”. No indication of what the problem was. At this point I looked over at the attendant, but she was still wrangling with the woman in the next stall. Clearly she wouldn’t be able to help me until she finished with this person. So I started to pay attention to the conversation. Apparently, the woman couldn’t understand what was happening with her transaction when she tried to use her Canadian Tire money. Here’s how it works, and believe me it ain’t rocket science: you scan your items, the machine totals it all up, then asks if you have any CT money. If you do, you enter the amount. The amount you enter reduces your total. This was what the attendant kept repeating to the woman in the next stall, but she started getting mad and flailing around as if someone was trying to put one over on her. I lowered my head to my cart and started gently banging my head. People in the next line noticed too and I watched one woman start to form helpful words; but presumably she figured out that there was no getting through to this woman and didn’t bother.

Suddenly my machine woke up and my checkout process continued. Yay! So I carried on and was almost finished when just as suddenly it stopped again: WAIT FOR ATTENDANT. Argh! I glanced over at the attendant, who shot me a sympathetic look and continued to try to reassure the clueless woman that she was not being ripped off. I resumed my head-banging. Ms. Clueless finally threw up her hands, declared that “it doesn’t make any sense” and decided to ignore her doubts and move on. At that point my machine once again revived and I completed my transaction. Phew!

On my way past the attendant, I asked if she knew why my machine had stopped twice yet recovered each time apparently on its own. She told me, quietly, that she knew exactly why this had happened: because The Clueless Wonder’s rather large rear end, in all her flailing, had impinged upon the machine I was using and caused its scale to register weights not in alignment with the items I had purchased. So THAT’S why they make you put your items on the little platform!

I do not enjoy making fun of people with physical issues, especially not in public. That’s just not how I roll. But believe me, if I had known that this ignorant, enormously overweight woman was holding up my progress both because she was incredibly stupid AND because her fat behind was interfering with the machine, I would have politely invited her to move her fat, ignorant ass out of the way.

Weather watch

Okay, check THIS puppy out for weasel words.

A rapidly deepening low pressure system will move inland over northern Washington State today. Rain will begin this morning, then change to wet snow over most inland areas and higher elevations with a rain-snow mix closer to the ocean. Fluctuating freezing levels and precipitation intensity add to the complexity of snow amount forecasts for this storm. However higher elevations of Metro Vancouver can expect 5 cm of wet snow with a mix of rain and snow likely near sea level. Snow amounts of 5 to 10 cm are forecast over the Fraser Valley and 2 to 4 cm are expected over Greater Victoria and East Vancouver Island except 10 cm over higher terrain and inland sections. Strong northeast winds will develop over East Vancouver Island in the wake of this system, with winds rising to 60 km/h gusting to 90 this evening. Winds are expected to ease below warning criteria Saturday morning. An Arctic front moves onto the coast from the interior for the weekend. Strong outflow winds combined with cold air will give wind chill values below minus 20 to inland sections of the north and central coast beginning this evening. Strong outflow winds may also produce localized snow squalls along the east coast of Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands through Sunday while the rest of the coast remains sunny, very cold, and locally windy.

I mean, they say it’s gonna snow, and I work at higher elevations.  (No, not because I rolled something up, thanks – although I was reading George Carlin in the can this morning). Yesterday at quitting time we checked the weather again and it wasn’t as bad as this, so sometime in the last 12 hours the meteo folks decided all crap was breaking loose.

So, everybody stay home if you can; every year in Vancouver 40000 new drivers who’ve never driven in snow take their baloney-skin tires, shitty driving skills, sense of entitlement and strabysmus out of the garage and lay it out for all to see during the first snow of the winter. IT IS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT.  So I gotta make sure I load up batteries in the camera, this should be good.  Also, must sweet talk men with cars, I may need a lift down the hill if the buses can’t make it up the hill to take me home, and forget about getting a taxi.  As for Victoria, it’s even worse.  It’s time to hunker down with a couple of good movies.

Best …. line …. evar

So.  There is this filksong called The Mad Scientist’s Love Song which is performed by Lady Miss B and Dr. Filk.  In a startling development, they reversed roles and Dr. Filk got to be the charming assistant.

When I commented that I had never actually seen Dr. Filk in a dress before, this was the response from LMB (emphasis added by moi):

Subject: Re: Dr Filk’s ballgown

My favourite part was how he accessorized with big chunky biker boots.

Okay, no, my favourite part was him saying “Why, what would a day be like
 without a little public humiliation? I’ll probably never find out.”

I AM SO STEALING THAT LINE. 

I’m recovering today from walking all the way from King to Bloor last night.  Met Dave JD at Jump, walked about downtown for a while, ended up at C’est What, and I want to tell you ALL that I will die fulfilled and happy, because I HAVE HAD A BEER FLOAT.  Yes, the C’est What has Hazelnut Chocolate Bitter floats, with whipped cream and ice cream and a maraschino cherry.  Each mouthful had at least four flavours; the final top note of the hops in the Bitter danced on my palate for about 15 minutes before I regretfully had to wake up a bit with coffee and water.  PS, the meal at Jump was solid but there’s no ******* way it was worth $100 even with the alcohol.  Then we walked all the way up Yonge, deking into the Eaton Centre so I could see what it looked like tarted up for Xmas (worth seeing), and then coming back out of the PATH to view the ******* mess they made of the intersection of Dundas and Yonge. 

The entire downtown core is a mess of sodium vapour orange, metallic blue and piercing white LED lights festooned from every lamppost and filling every square; total Xmas yield = + 350 ugly points.  We continued up the street.  The Swiss Chalet I ate at multiple times a week when I was working at the Delta Chelsea is still there.  Many other landmarks are gone but plenty remain.  David’s is still on the corner of Yonge and Bloor with its array of expensive shoes; the Pilot is still there just off Yonge in Yorkville.  As is standard I did most of the talking; sometimes I wonder if Dave ever is thinking “When will she STFU?”  He deked into a CD joint and insisted on picking up a couple of Weakerthans CD’s so you may all be assured that Dave’s role in my life as somebody who forces me to refine my taste while I broaden my horizons continues.

We ended up at Flow for the last drink of the evening and after another fifteen minutes of aimlessly wandering around Yorkville while I critiqued the dresses in the window (Jesus, if I was a man I wouldn’t go near a woman dressed like that, I’d be afraid of getting caught on something, etc.) we decided that fun as it had been Dave had to go to work in the morning, so about 10:15 we packed it in; I came home by cab.

Vancouverites, listen up!  The cab driver ASKED ME IF HE COULD TAKE THE CALL when his cell phone rang.  I don’t know how often you take cabs (I gotsk no car, so I do a lot) but I nearly choked on my tongue when he said that.  I thanked him profusely and tipped him according to his deserts.  Speaking of which, prob’ly the funniest part of the evening was how animated Dave got when lecturing me (humourously, not pompously) about the importance of tipping.  The how, the why, the way it’s an inexpensive and effective way of spreading joy, the importance of not looking like a cheap bastard (I paraphrase).

I think I’m coming back in February.  There’s a play I want to see, and I like going to Toronto for Valentine’s day and hanging with friends – I had an AMAZING time the last time.  It’ll be a little awkward seeing as how I’ll just be back from Belize – current planning – who knows – but frankly now that I’ve figured out that I need to quit travelling on cheap airlines I think I’ll have a lot better time.

PS we leave for France soon.  Happy sigh!

Doug and Elly

Yesterday was quite the day for meals (which I did not have to cook). For Brunch, Jeff and ScaryClown and I sucked back an Islands inflected breakfast at the Reef on Main street and then took a tour of the shops; for dinner Doug cooked a magnificent roast lamb with greek salad, greek style potatoes (oh…my… god they were good) and hummus, pita and tzatziki.  I even drank red wine and didn’t get a migraine.  Keith and Jeff accompanied me on that trek to the golden kitchen of Doug.  As always, the soundtrack at their place is amazing.  I never go over there but that I think I want to live there!

When asked, why return to Toronto, Elly had a few comments.  It is home.  Her mother’s dying of emphysema (not that Elly means to get close to her or effect a reconciliation after all the crap…).  It’s closer to grandchildren; it’s closer to children; it’s closer to New York, where she is establishing a new chapter in her mental health career (her show went over really well).  Vancouver and her time in BC got her healthy, healthy enough that she tossed her journals.  (Why do I need them?  It’s just endless boohooing.  There’s no value in it.  Gave me a twinge about the blog, believe you me.) Doug’s career is portable, as is hers. And the maraschino on top is getting out before the Olympics.  Grr.

Doug showed off his new insulin monitoring device; he says if he can reduce the number of injections from four to five a day to one every three days he’ll gladly participate in the research.

When Jeff and I moved in here I whined about how I didn’t have any cast iron frying pans.  Well, I do now; Doug and Elly are dejunking and I acquired two.  Shout out for Jeff who enquired if they were dejunking.  Keith may get the computer desk but he has to run it by Paul first.

I don’t have a picture of Doug’s new beard styling, but it rocks.  I do have pics of his pumpkin, and will post later …

Transphobia

Quoted from today’s tyee.ca:

 

Ten Signs of Transphobia in Our Culture, by Christopher A. Shelley

 

  1. Denial that the problem exists in the first place. 

     

  2. Inability to distinguish between categories such as queer, gay, lesbian, and trans. 

     

  3. Lack of meaningful discussion in educational and workplace settings. 

     

  4. Anxiety over not being able to tell if a person is male or female. 

     

  5. Crude jokes directed towards trans people or with trans-related content. 

     

  6. Refusal to accept trans people as one’s own teacher, doctor, politician, dentist, etc. 

     

  7. Thinking that being trans is OK but also dismissing the idea of ever dating a transperson. 

     

  8. Reducing trans to being merely and solely a psychiatric category. 

     

  9. Trivialization and media spectacles centred on trans-ness as an object of ‘fascination.’ 

     

  10. Refusing the fundamental claims of transpeople as being genuinely mis-sexed.

 

Book launch for Transpeople: Repudiation, Trauma, Healing. Event begins at 7 p.m., Thursday, Sept. 25, at Little Sister’s bookstore, 1238 Davie St., Vancouver. RSVP to awilson@utpress.utoronto.ca.

False alarm – I havna lost my gaming platform

Jeff, having proved not to have already gone to bed, suffered me to borrowed his car keys.  My little blue brick was right where I left it on the floor mat.

The sheets I bought at Costco tonight are already clean and dry.  I feel so happy to have another set of sheets for my bed, more or less the same pale sage colour, but about twice the thread count.  There was so little lint in the dryer I could have, without troubling my conscience, left it for the next person.  They feel like silk but they are pure cotton.  And I have a drive, I gotta message Robof9 and tell him not to buy me one like we discussed.  Got chicken for the freezer, and also little red cheeses, which should make Katie happy as she appears to be feeding half of her class with her lunches.  If Keith ever turns up again he’ll probably devour a few, provided they ain’t all et.

Changes brewing

It takes me about 3 – 6 weeks to get used to a ‘new normal’.  Jeff and I have a pretty good understanding on how the day’s going to go, and who does what.  When I moved into the place up the hill it took about six weeks before I was sleeping properly – and I was still in the same bed, just in a different place.  Now I can see all kinds of change brewing – at work, at home, creatively, and I am swinging wildly between being productive and ‘like a stunned bird in the reeds’ to quote Dunnett for the nine thousandth time, partly because I want the period of adjustment to be over and partly because I feel apprehensive.  What if there’s no new normal? What if every day turns into a struggle?  My normal cheerfulness seems to be leaking away, or maybe I’m working on a migraine.  It’s such a drag when you know you can’t trust your own brain chemistry, and it’s hopeless trusting other people’s.

Well, it’s a good thing people who have been there have written to us out of the past.  Keeping your humanity in extremis is the sign of a good human being.  That’s when I need to be more compassionate, more generous, and more hardworking.  And that’s what I hate about the ‘new normal’ I see coming, because I am one sorry and irritable sack of grudges and that’s no way to be, whether things are going bad or not.

I rented the car today and I’ll be running errands. I bailed on volunteering for the Folk Festival (they only called me two days before – this after I’d sent an email a week ago bowing out – and I did NOT want to work Gate in teh boiling sun).

Katie’s coming back from the grands’ today or tomorrow.  I have a few ideas.

Keith was here last night.  Most of the time I don’t mind being close to the bathroom, but not when my only son is heaving about $30 worth of Bushmills into the john.  That’s SIPPING whiskey, not PUKING whiskey.  Sigh.  He wanted to find out where his limit was.  How many times have I lectured the kids about pacing themselves?  Patricia knows what happened the last time I didn’t pace myself – she and her buddy Dave had to haul me home from the Rowing Club.  Sigh.  At Baumfest I paced myself MUCH better, and ate more and drank less.  Gotta have those carbs, lining the gut, before you start.

Made waffles for Jeff, seeing as how I’m home today.

Think I’ll call Tamara at Tenplus.  I haven’t recorded a video professionally in ages, and I want to put something else on youtube.  That or a home made video about making biscotti.  There have been real jackass comments on my vids on youtube lately; Jeff warned me, as he has vids up as well, and he says the moron factor is extreme.

Ack, gotta get up and close the back door to keep the cigarette smoke out.

I need my teeth cleaned, my 2007 taxes filed, a massage, and I somehow doubt it’s all going to happen today.  What’s really going to happen today is errands. And with any luck, fetching Kate from the ferry.  When people you love are in pain, you want to do something practical.  Or pretend it isn’t happening.  That seems to work for me sometimes too.

New Puppy (Migraine better thanks….)

Dave @ OneLegWest has posted pics of his puppy Max’s first day at home. Check out how happy Jake is to see the new arrival….

I feel so much better and the sun is shining so delightfully that I’m off to Jericho tonight.

Did I mention the whole fam damily was over last night for a spaghetti dinner? Keith and Paul brought Caesar salad and corn bread, and Katie brought her sweet self and picked up her blankie from G’ma. Then we watched Buffy (Darla gets hers, the first time anyway). Happy Sigh.

Oh oh oh, I forgot to mention, I’m getting a FREE RIDE to Victoria for next weekend’s Pondfilk!! Dalai Jarmo just dropped by to say they are taking off at hours ungodly on Saturday morning to go see the tallships. Obviously I’ll chip in for gas so it won’t really be free, but Me Happy! It will be a most convivial crew, and they’ll just drop me off at the Harbour.

Every time I get a migraine these days I think happy thoughts and it goes away. Sometimes the happy thoughts involved nudity, but a lot of times I think about my friends and family and the happiness just wells up like a magical fountain.