Author: Allegra

Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

Tea and toast

Woke up just after three after a restful sleep. Three kudos on my dashboard this morning. Always fun to see what people are reading. Another person has subscribed to my mailchimp account for UPSUN as well. In addition I logged into dreamwidth (the ‘replacement’ for live journal for people who don’t want all their data stolen by the Russians) because I really wanted to read something one of my filk buddies has posted and …. I hadn’t posted since 2018. uff dah. I posted. It was sad having to mention that Tom had died.

Worked on the fanfic a bit, not much. In the portion I just wrote one of the brothers is teasing the other about his new relationship and I very much enjoyed writing that because one of the great wellsprings of Supernatural fanfic is the abiding love (and shittalk) between the bros… it’s very easy to write the shittalk because they are constantly teasing each other (and would die for each other).

Still not experiencing hunger and thirst properly. It’s very strange to be forcing myself to eat, unless it’s something sweet.

The wind is gusting hard and it makes the plastic siding creak in an alarming way.

Ryker’s got a mucousy cold, poor wee tyke. Alex is a snot factory whether he has a cold or not. Just sayin’.

Had to shovel again; the lack of walkway salt was mitigated by the fact that it started raining and melting, so we didn’t get freezing rain. Lawks that was one big raccoon we got through the property night before last though, HUGE pawprints.

It’s very pleasant to no longer be required to run a heater all night in my room. It’s quite pleasant in the house now.

Well, I boiled water but I haven’t made tea, and the toast is still waiting for my work, so time for some foodicles and to start my day. FIRST TASK. Wrestling my weighted blanket back into its cover. This will literally take me half an hour as it’s like a USB cable. First you attach the WRONG zipper, and then you attach the RIGHT ONE, IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, and then omg maybe THIS will work. Heavy sigh. Still haven’t put all my clothes away.

This morning my twitter feed is full of: Trans people commenting (still) on Matrix Resurrections, including the best tweet sized appreciation of it I’ve seen so far; disabled people saying CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TRYING TO KILL US BY NOT WEARING MASKS AND SHITTY POLICY; Glenn Greenwald, may the great Parent of the Universe buy him a fucking clue, saying how twitter doesn’t have the right to eject people from its platform cause free speech, when it’s already been established that it really isn’t. He’s defending Marjorie, by the way. Candidly, clownbag is too kind for that man.

The Cincinnati Beagles won the division (over KC). We did not see that coming. It was a weird game with some patently ugly and bad calls. I mean, how many times is it possible to repeat 4th down?

@ElSangito:

i understand finding matrix 4’s lack of subtlety grating but i would never wanna use metaphors again either if the metaphorical allegory i wrote before got co-opted by far right patriarchal fascists whose whole thing is to eradicate my entire people

 

 

7 am and I’m a tad underslept

She’s only been booted off twitter for a week, but Marjorie Taylor Greene’s bile emissions in twitter form are gone for now thank Christ. One of my faves said good so I wrote a leel poem

alas alas / tis for a week / then once again/  she’ll start to beak.

Then another of my faves said NO IT’S PERMANENT and so…. I bringeth you the newis gladde!

Shoulda put ‘BURMA SHAVE’ at the end of that poem.

Today, a plan of action for all the medical related stuff I have to do. Get my tits squoze for health and science! (Mammogram appointment, the arrangement thereof.) Overnight BP monitoring! I DO NOT WANT IT, NOT AT ALL, EXCUSE ME, because they warn you that you won’t sleep that well, but at least I got my BP down substantially before I’m doing it, which is cheating OR IS IT. Remember that adequate roborative sleep is REQUIRED for lowering BP and then they give you a gadget that prevents you from sleeping properly.

scuse me? Say waht? You’re going to find out what my blood pressure is doing over a 24 hour period during which I have to forego restful sleep, get bent.

Also, getting re-ups on the Metformin and the Crestor and the Inderal. (So glad Jeff nagged me into using a weekly pill organizer, what a difference.) My abdominal pains and brain fog might actually be the Crestor, but didn’t I have that before?? tho’ in general I’m no longer getting side effects (except for the poopiness of Metformin, and I will never forget my convo with mOm about that, it definitely sticks out in the rear view…ahem) from the meds I’ve been prescribed.

Also, a plan of action for THE ADDITIONAL SNOW THAT AN ANGRY DEITY WHIZZED OUT ON US. WHEN WE HAVE NO ROADWAY SALT. grr. AND NONE TO BE HAD IN THE PNW calice tabarnak

I appear to have lost a couple of pounds, hopefully it’ll make that unprofessional ice witch of an RN at my doctor’s office chide me less.

ALSO, more writing, since I’m in the mood again, and I’m in a nicely domestic portion of it. Domestic Alternate Universe (AU) is mah bag. Sleepy cuddles and changing bandages, happy sigh.

One kudo from AO3 this morning, for my second most recent story. That one seems to have landed very well among the fandom. (mOm liked it too)

I keep thinking how weird it is that I literally feel better (less foggy, more energetic) than I have in ages but I really did not get a lot of sleep. Good thing my whole life is configured around my bed. Which I changed the sheets of last night, and restuffed my bolster too. (Had to use my feet, get in there ya goddam pillows.)

Gosh that sounds rude. But it gets ruder still.

“Henry Cavill can stuff my bolster any time. But maybe not with his feet.”

I only say this sexually harassing thing to segue into how Henry Cavill gets sexually harassed (fondled and called yummy etc etc) mostly by young white women bingo callers (callback to Frank Magazine – bingo callers = television personalities) on the tube all the bloody time BUT if I ever met Henry Cavill in real life I’d try to have a conversation with him about his dog (the one he says saved his life) and maybe how he’s a fucking icon for mental health and gaming being an activity for everyone and I wouldn’t say a thing about how his frame is nigh perfect; it’s not the most important thing about him. Nothing about the work, because apart from his grunting and swordsmanship in The Witcher, which is world class, I’m not really familiar with a lot of his oeuvre. He was so very adorable in I Capture the Castle though, I remember that much.

Jeff and I have had a couple of laugh until you cry moments recently. I watched some ads go by on fast forward while Jeff was watching the Rose Bowl and I conflated that Tom Hiddleston and Kate McKinnon were now in a show called the Spy Who Dumped Me. I thought that sounded great and I wanted to watch it and Jeff said, well, you were watching ads for a series of shows and movies on a network and none of the images you saw had anything to do with each other. I felt very stupid but abrumptly we were both laughing our asses off. It was one of those why are we laughing moments. But I try to read meaning into everything and having my assumptions reproved in such a kind way landed as hilarious.

The Spy Who Dumped Me is a 2018 movie with a 6.1/10 rating.

 

lazy running a temperature day

Since I’m not coughing and my sats are okay, this isn’t covid. My appetite is definitely off and in a real shift in my behaviour I keep losing my ability to stay hydrated. I will try harder tomorrow.

Even so I made a tiffin of homemade chicken fingers in panko breading, taters and salad, (FOLLOWED BY CHAPMANS ‘FUCK YOU CUSTOMER IF YOU WON’T GET VACCINATED ice cream) ran and dried a load of laundry, did manage to get the kitchen back under control (it has since escaped), called my mOm, wrote 451 words on the Destiel fic that currently has my attention, read an edit of one of Dave’s poems, said ‘sorry no’ to a New Years Day walk with Al P., laughed out loud at Lois’s Letter at the End of the Year, had a lovely long bath, take my blood pressure twice, commune with Buster (more word training in preparation for getting him talking buttons) and of course there was that shopping expotition at the start of the day. So while I did not have a strenuous day, it wasn’t an entirely unproductive one.

Jeff took care of gravelling the slips of ice all over the damned walkways.

And now I will make my bed and find a nightie and TIMMMMMBBBERRRRRRR

AFTER I DO

THIS but not as 1 like 1 answer because that’s just letting your shit get data mined while you twirl for likes like a fucking overfed bear

Image

  1. either Michel or Kima although you know how much I love Jesse and Raven
  2. The Dosadi Experiment
  3. eh Raven mebbe
  4. wow…. any suggestions mOm
  5. Midnite Moving Co gets a ten episode series.
  6. drafting, editing, revising, plotting, in that order
  7. fanfic, M/M AU Domestic
  8. bildungsroman
  9. Go away and work on something (or nothing) else
  10. My bed. I dunno why. I like libraries and other people’s houses
  11. Dunnett, Barbara Tuchman
  12. what the fuck kind of question is that. Of course I can, I’m looking at the internet while I’m writing. OH YOU MEAN FICTION you fucking elitist. Bite me
  13. I try very hard to write every day, even if it’s just a verse of a song
  14. varies 100-4000
  15. morning, just after I’ve eaten and had caffeine; the middle of the night when things are quiet
  16. plotting jesus god
  17. Eurekalert.org. Never fails
  18. Nah, the chain letters of the internet piss me off.

30 visitors to the site yesterday

I don’t know if it’s a new record, but it was quite something to see those stats this morning.

ANY HOO

Betty White is dead. Because I’m a blabbermouth probably half a dozen people who follow me on twitter heard it from me first. The internet is helping people express their emotions, a kind of worshipful, almost amused, grief being foremost.

MANY PEOPLE ARE ANGRY THAT HENRY KISSINGER OUTLIVED HER. Many, o many.

Greeted the New Year with gentle snores, as is the custom in our clan.

This morning we will do a small shop. I certainly don’t intend to linger in the store, and I’m going to wear my most expensive mask.

VOCATION – GRATITUDE – PARSIMONY

Those are my three words this year. Work on my vocation, complete projects. Be grateful and express gratitude for my life of good fortune. Parsimony – try to expend no resources or money needlessly. We’ll see how we go.

No billets-doux from the readers at Archive of Our Own this morning. I continue to work on the stories I have on the go, but the output is rather feeble – 50 – 200 words at a time. Ah well, a beach is built by grinding a whole bunch of different rocks over thousands of years, right?

Time to plug the laptop in to charge and deal with the crockery insurrection in the kitchen.

 

 

Accomplishments 2021

First overnight sleepover with Alex

Witnessed the birth of my second grandchild, Ryker

Started collecting a pension

Rearranged my finances with the assistance of my fOlks and the support of my brO

Survived the pandemic – got vaxxed and boosted.

Recorded MOAR TUNES in January

Got all my musical instruments into the same room (the spare oom) which makes making music with Alex even easier

Started actually dealing with my health issues especially getting my BP down.

Made A LOT OF WHOLE WHEAT BUNS

Helped my mOm deal with some creative issues with her family history, and deepened my appreciation of the benefits and hazards and beauties of family history.

Invented the term TWOOTLES for Twitter mutuals

Started feeding crows.

I sat with a dying man and read a poem about it at his memorial service, and we sang, too.

Started writing letters to rellies and friends on a semi regular basis (I owe half a dozen letters currently HAW)

Was able to identify that a birdsong was of a bird I had never seen, followed the sound and identified an out of range yellow breasted chat, but was later able to confirm that where the chat sang was bang in the middle of everything they need to breed.

Got birdies to eat out of my hands at Fraser Foreshore. I recommend it as an experience.

 

 

Quiet day

Jeff couldn’t go to the family dinner at Caspell Junction because of both press of work and feeling punk, and Keith didn’t make it home from work until two minutes before I called a cab and left. Katie fixed a plate for Jeff though, and he devoured it as soon as I got home.

I got to see Ryker, hold him, rock him while he was fussy and Katie was prepping food.

Paul seems to be doing reasonably well.

sleep of the dead

These pics were selected by Alex.

Alex sleeps so hard it’s quite significant. I just got up, ran a load of laundry and wandered lonely as a large fuzzy hoodie through the house looking for my laptop, which of course I already brought downstairs to the guest room.

Last night Alex consumed his dinner, drew monsters, played Xenon pinball, brushed his teeth, played Burnout under Jeff’s watchful supervision on the xBox (it’s a game where you deliberately crash into things with your car), played the same video on his tablet until he crashed at which point I pulled his tablet out of his hand and stashed it somewhere safe.. When he was going between games he asked Jeff, “Are the mechanics the same?” and I almost fell off the spare sofa.

It’s to early to waken him so I’m listening to him making faint breathing noises. If I panicked because he was making no breath sounds at all and did a pulse check that’s just the gramma in me.

We got another 6-10 cm of the solid end of the water cycle and more apparently on the way. The videos of carnage and lack of snow removal on reddit vancouver are telling.

Melting grammas note:

he says Ryker is ‘a really good baby’.

so many kudos and snow

That was so fun. I wish all restaurants were like that.

— a one line review of one of my fanfics, posted last night.

I love this spa day adventure!

— a one line review of one of my fanfics, posted last night.

r/mildlyinteresting - The traffic lights in Lake Tahoe are filled with snow. Yes, it’s causing some issues.

Lake Tahoe had some, er snow. I’m going to take a wild guess and say four way stop procedures are in place.

Arctic outflow continues, the house is like a meat locker and I can feel drafts pouring in from all directions. The repairman swore the furnace was fine, I hope the dude was right.

 

Matrix Resurrections

It’s a full tilt commercial movie which bites off cultural excess and spits out commentary.

Portions of it are completely impossible to understand. There are many levels of reality and the people in them move smoothly through them but … it’s hard, and noisy, and perspective spinning. I didn’t like those parts because when the movie was more discursive – or just plain HERE’S A FIGHT have FUN – it was more enjoyable for me.

The basic premise hasn’t changed; but people have moved through their lives- or what they think is their lives. Everyone is older. Under the kick ass and the high tech and the gloss design and striking palettes, there is an elegaic tone that is impossible to miss, and so, of course, appears to have been missed by every cultural commentator under 40. This is not a movie for young people. Many will go, but it’s not emotionally aimed at them.

It’s also, very candidly, a movie about mental health, and how everything they give you to make you feel better can be wrong on a cellular level.

To me, the movie addressed almost all of the cultural skew (the pull of it, the magical achievement of it, the visual thrill of it) of the first movie and the horror of what happened to the red pill/blue pill takeover of the ideas of the movie by misogynists and repulsigans. It addressed the FOREVER HOWL of MAKE IT EXACTLY THE SAME BUT BETTER which is Hollywood. It addressed how in terms of story logic, Neo and Trinity being separated was sad, and had to be fixed. It raised some really interesting ideas about what constitutes a partnership, why we help people who are going to get us killed, and how the hero feels, being worshipped, when he feels grossly inadequate, tiny and possibly not hoeing the next row in consensus reality.

It gave us multiple villains, some of whom have multiple agendas.

We see what happens when you trade freedom of scope for security of the person. We see what happens when you think HEY WE BEAT FASCISM everything’s GREAT NOW not realizing that fascism reconstitutes itself in every generation and has to be fought again. For all the people thinking this is exactly the same through line as the first movie LOL try again, midges. All of the callbacks had a specific purpose. We were being pushed into an emotional killzone, and asked to question all of the mechanics that got us there.

We see what happens when you make your idea of who is ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’ based in the present, not in the past.

We see AIs incorporated into the body politic. The revolution is domesticated because it becomes routine and non-destructive of the overarching enemy (any aspect of society antithetical to creativity); the revolution is made wild because it must address current conditions, which suck, and demand sacrifice to be overthrown.

All we ever want is someone who can see us, believe in us, literally hold us up, and it’s the driver of everything. It doesn’t have to be sexual, it doesn’t have to be procreative, but it does have to have meaning and reciprocity, and the ending in the light of that hypothesis – for me – was quite satisfying.