Category: Things with Motors

That giant sucking sound you hear is car ownership

Sixteen hundred dollars poorer, she emerged.  And I still need an alignment and the car DESPERATELY needs to be detailed.  There’s a lip gloss tube EMBEDDED in the driver’s side carpet like a dinosaur bone emerging from a dig.  I also just realized that the dangly thing hanging from the rear view mirror is a beaded toy flogger, and since I don’t swing that way (pitching OR catching), I should prob’ly take it down. But it’s PURPLE.

Anyways… drove ScaryClown home with me last night and we supped on Swiss Chalet that Jeff brought home and drank beers and watched TV.  At one point Jeff said something so funny that ScaryClown and I were rendered absolutely helpless.  Unfortunately, despite its merits as humour, it is not repeatable, even by me, but please accept my assurances that it was convulsing.

Then the phone rang.  I could hear it but Jeff couldn’t (I answer the phone for a living so heard it over the tv noise which was hockeygamish at the time).  I picked up the phone, but because it was behind me & I wasn’t really paying too close attention I had the receiver upside-down.  Jeff thought I’d gone insane because – well, Jeff thinks I’ve gone insane most of the time, but he’s low-key about commenting – I was picking up the phone and saying hello hello with the receiver upside down – for no apparent reason. He said, brow furrowed, with that crystal clarity people use when talking to halfwits, “The phone is upside down,” at which point Keith and I were actually able to start communicating.  ScaryClown at this point was laughing so hard he lost control of his ketchup.  Keith said, “Ah.  Well, I was going to ask if ScaryClown was still there, but I can hear him laughing, so I’ll be there in 15.”

He and Paul came over (announcing pie and yet another six of Lion Winter, Paul found another source, and commenting that the car looks nice) and we had a very pleasant evening.  The highlight was the scary awesome Mt. St. Helens footage.  You know that this blog started with me commenting about Mt. St. Helens every other day, so I have a special fondness for it, and will stay fond of it if it stays dormant.

This morning

Kat put the plates on the car, moved her brother’s car (with the aid of 4 other people, gaack), and gave me the keys.  Squee! Next up, a leetle more getting ready for guests after I make a carafe of coffee, and then I’ll walk down to Kat’s mother’s, take a deep breath, and then drive a car – which cannot actually turn left – down to the krankenhaus. A call to my boss to advise him of my lateness is queued up on that list as well.

This morning my eyes fell on the happy news that a woman I know is expecting her first child, and I give her joy of the news.  Her report is that she’s peeing a lot and dead tired, and gosh, how familiar THAT sounds.

Sundry and various

Tomorrow I take the car (which at the moment can only turn right) in a cunningly planned foray through New Westminster; then I’ll drop it off at the krankenhaus and with any luck, I’ll have a plated, functioning, air-cared vehicle – my first in my whole life. My dad gave me a car once, but due to a miscommunication Paul registered it in his own name, which I didn’t actually think was legal and squawked about like a sad old hen at the time.  So, technically, this will be the first car ever that’s registered in my own name.  I’m 51, and I’m an idiot for buying a car, but when the thing you hate most about your job is not the job but the commute by bus, a car seems like a necessity.  Also, ROAD TRIPS.  Also WRECK BEACH.  Also, going to the Island to visit relllies, and not just my parents.  Yes, I’m going to put major miles on that puppy this summer.

My mother is still slowly working her way through the ancestral diaries.  Henry Wake was a fascinating critter, and I’ll be really happy when all of his diaries are where I can easily peruse them.

Keith is over, and as soon as he’s finished with a boss fight in Arkham Asylum, we’re going to watch Deadwood (me for the nth time) and then I’m going to cook him a pork chomp dinner.  Jeff’s on the Island.

I’ve put the new song in Songwriter.  So I actually did something creative this weekend.  John would be pleased.

Time vs money

I am SO tired of the commute, I’ve decided to buy a car.  Kat has one for sale and she said she would do the cv joint and the muffler for me if I buy the parts and I am very tempted.  It is not a particularly useful car, being, like the MR2, a two seater.  LTGW told me to buy a truck.  This was in the same week he told me I was wearing sensible shoes.  I ended up screaming “Want me to shave my head and start wearing overalls TOO” in the middle of the cafeteria, which certainly made Robof9 laugh.

Robof9 is leaving the Tiled Cell on the Hill later this month.  I am just punched out about that too.

The lights over my desk give me a headache every day.  My eyes are so tired by the time I go home I feel like I’m in a dissociative state.

The weather is cold and windy.  I heard what sounded like ice pellets pinging off my window at 3 am this morning.

Anyway, now that I know I’m getting a car I feel very bad at the same time I am feeling better.  It’s just that I can’t read, play games, watch video on my phone or do anything that doesn’t involve looking out the window to prevent motion sickness whenever I ride the bus.  I can spend two and one half hours a day commuting, or half an hour driving.  I’m 51 and I’ve only got so many hours left.  Translink is not bad for my part of the world, and it’s not their fault that there’s a fucking lake in between me and work.  I am tired of the asinine creature who takes up five seats on the bus with the rude way she occupies the front section.  I’m tired of the men who smell like pee and spilled stuff and the women who smell like air freshener.  I am tired of listening to phone conversations in a babel of languages; I am tired of hearing conversations that make me want to butt in and describe in detail the cognitive biases involved.  I am tired of fucking rude bus drivers (I’ve seen some good ones, but a couple of events in the last month have left me gobsmacked with disappointment and too disheartened to even complain.)  But I should commute because it’s better for the environment.  It would be better for the environment if I jumped off a bridge, too, but that is not in the cards.

The house is shifting on its foundations with the wind.

I want rainbows and unicorns and world peace, and I’m getting dying cats, blue relatives and friends, (this item deleted), (this item deleted), (this item deleted too, sigh), and a bunch of other stuff I can’t complain about.  Currently there are 18 items on the list; most of them I only wrote down so I could add one last item to the list & I FEEL REEAAALLY SHITTY about not being able to DO anything about the stuff that’s wrong.  Oh yeah, Mr. Cheerful Pants, I should just work on the stuff I CAN fix.  It’s all about reframing things.  Well how about I reframe this by breaking it over your head, how’s that work for you?

The only good thing that happened this week is that Mike showed the pictures he took of Rozo in the woods – nude.  Unbelievable.  All that hair, and her standing on a tree stump in Robert Burnaby Park looking like something shot out of a New Raphaelite wet dream.  There was one particular pic, her figleafed with hair, that I want to carry around with me in my wallet so I have something pleasant to look at when things really fuck up.

That’s not true, there was one other thing that happened this week.  I found a website with erotic photos and art that actually has about one in ten pics that I like.  I guess it’s yet another sign that I overshare that my first impulse was to email a couple of links to my daughter.  That’s not funny, it’s sick.

Jeff cheered me up by loaning the car to me yesterday – he stayed home with Gizmo.  I went and got treats after work to cheer us both up.

Now I’m going to do a Tarot reading.  The day can get worse any way it likes.

And every word of it is true

I am Allegra Sloman, and I subscribe to this management decision.

An extremely rare kitty photo for Jeff.

Glenn Close has her genome mapped.

Snails are gonna eat Florida.  Here’s a pic of and article about the critter in question.

When is a species extinct?  You’d think it’s a dopey question, but apparently it is not.

Aggressively massaging its books. Great expression for part of what preceded the collapse of Lehman.  And since there’s been no meaningful regulatory reform, it could all happen again, how very cyclical.

Yes, that Nascar crash was no accident.  To keep ratings high, the Nascar management is encouraging it.  Hope nobody dies.

Yesterday I made spare ribs, and that, candidly is about it.  I hope to have a marginally more productive day today.

I thought today was Pi Day, but apparently there’s some dispute about that.

Two minds

I am of two minds about this article.

Part of me says, Oh this is great it’s really helping people.

The other part says, “What she is doing is still easier than lobbying for better public transportation in the land of the Great God Car.”

I applied for a job yesterday.  I am already having second thoughts about a year off.  I may forget how to work for others entirely if I don’t get going.