OOOh forgot to mention

I am going to Conflikt in January, and and and… I have set myself the task of writing three songs before the con.  The first one is substantially complete.  It’s a filk based on that Dutch children’s song I posted here recently, and it’s about that ever loving bastard Nicholas Van Rijn.  Next up; an Octavia Butler filk and an Eric Frank Russell filk.  This should be interestin!

Lusty Neighbors and Pimp Primer

Tea and cookies and porn this evening…
Lusty Neighbors and Pimp Primer –  those were the titles of the flicks we watched at the November meeting of the Royal Vancouver Pornographic Society.  They were grindhouse.  Words cannot describe how execrable they were; they were about as erotic as a panhandler, as aesthetic as an airport washroom, and as well performed as a public school pageant.  The dialogue raised hoots of derisive laughter at every turn.
Porn sure has changed.  Nowadays everybody gets everything depilated and bleached; then, performers did their thang with visible bruises and scuff marks, pimples and back hair.  And dirty feet, yeeech.

Anyway I was welcomed with cries of glee (I made biscotti) and was made to feel right at home.  Things broke up around 10:30; I had the car until one so I gassed up, grabbed some groceries, unloaded them, and then took the car back to its stall (I had the Hyundai – the Prius was engaged) and walked home, where to my disGUST two younguns saw me coming and ran away so as not to be doing dope in front of me.  I halfheartedly chewed them out and told them this is Vancouver and it’s your god given right to smoke drugs in public here.  They offered me some but I declined, although I thanked them for being neighbourly.  God almighty!  Do I LOOK that old?  I was walking briskly enough….

There’s a party next door.  I was invited but I’m not attending. I took biscotti to thank them for inviting me earlier this evening.  I will have enough left over to feed some coworkers tomorrow.  Hey Paul if you read this do you want me to make a batch for your coworkers?

Canuckistani reference

When I first moved to BC, I thought, hey, wtf?  Where’s the bagged milk??  Turns out it doesn’t exist in BC, it’s an eastern Canada thing.

Daughter Katie and I worked on school application stuff for about half an hour last night.  The rest of the time we watched Deadwood. Another convert, yeah!  Then I booked the Prius to take her home.  I hate putting gas in that thing, but someone’s got to do it.

Deep Fried Mars Bar email

Into each life, a little saturated fat must fall.  You have been carefully selected as possibly being the kind of wild and crazy (redacted company name) employee who might want to eat a deep fried Mars bar.  Our talented chef Chris has agreed — with some misgivings — to deep fry Mars bars for us, but only if at least ten people sign up.   As this is a rare culinary delight, I urge you to vote Yes, Please!    Please be advised that they are almost impossible to finish, so consider sharing it with somebody.  Please be further advised that in the tradition of Scottish cuisine (almost a contradiction in terms), you order it with a side of fries.  Your best bet is to plan on eating nothing else that day, and possibly not for 24 hours on either side.  I’m going to draw the line at requesting a doctor’s note, though.  Please be further, further advised that costs will be announced when we have enough people signed up.  Please be further, further, further advised that my distribution list may have missed people who have been dying (possibly literally) to eat a deep fried Mars bar, and that no ill-will is intended if you were forwarded this by someone other than Allegra.