Category: Awards and Kudos

What a day!

Awake at 5:20 am, poked around the net for a while, then got up and cleaned some pots and next thing I knew I was late for the bus. All quite normal.  Late for work because both the 145 bus and the Skytrain were delayed, who knows why.  At least I didn’t kill myself by falling down that slope – I’ve posted pictures of it, just imagine it covered with a glossy slick of compressed slush.

At 9 the town hall meeting with our new squid overlords.  THEY CAN HAS SWAG!!!  They gave out jackets, and mine is very nice and will probably fit me better in a year.  But I like it. The meeting was full of my coworkers conspicuously signalling to me to get off my ass and ask the new squid overlords some pointy questions like I used to do, but I glued said same ass to my chair.  Besides, I was wearing my “Earth to the Dandy Warhols” t-shirt and I just didn’t look corporate enough.

At work today, Mike McG gamely attempted over three meetings (Patricia was also there) to a) jam Ohm’s law into my tiny pea brain; b) jam info about PV string sizing into my tiny pea brain and c) get my advice/input/loud and unfeigned praise on a totally HAWT Salesforce customization.  This will mean nothing to most of you but when I think of how much time and keystrokes that man plans to save the company I tremble in my granny panties, lemme tell you…

At lunch, Jeff the Queasy (an easily grossed out cowirker) said, “What the hell was with 206, somebody drew Ohm’s law all over the whiteboard?” and Patricia and I are thinking, “Hm, should we tell him?”

Anyway, I didn’t work much because I was in meetings or lunching for like 5 hours.  It was like being an executive, and Tanya took the worst call of the day, honestly, the customer was a jerk to her, and then of course was nice as pie to me.

OH MY STARS.  I have to tell this story, even if it gets me fired.  The marketing department, whom I have been convinced wants to either kill me or slap me into an insane asylum for at least a decade now, put my name on a document….. associated with a phone number which comes to my desk …. and a toll free number that, alas, was one digit out from being correct.  Care to guess what my name was associated with?  A front for a phone sex line. I can die happy now.  All my Dilbert dreams/nightmares have come true.  By all the gods I don’t believe in, this story is absolutely true and I can call witnesses.  And besides, the marketing department has already fixed it.

Our new HR overlord is from Suth Cahlina, and she said You All twice during the town hall.  Not Y’all, that’s trashy, but You All, that’s cute.

Much thanks to Sandy P for the hilarious email about the mighty huntin’ dogs she has, I laughed like a drain.

Then a call from Paul – I’d been expecting to take the bus to his place preparatory for a swim, but he decided to pick me up, and then when I got there it was me, Keith, Kate, Paul and Daxus, and Dan T. dropped by for some soup, and I arranged to spend most of Saturday with Katie, and she plucked my eyebrows (they were raggedy). Katie and Daxus were playing chess when I arrived – Daxus was shellacking Katie. I saw the board and went, Concede, you fool! but they played it out.  After dinner Keith and Paul and I went to the pool and swam and soaked, and then Paul drove me home.  I drove home, but it’s Paul’s car.  You know what I mean.

It was so good to see everybody.  Dan T. said, “I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed that I ate somebody’s dog, and it tasted like a pear, but I didn’t really like it all that much so I had two bites and threw it away, and then the owners were saying, “Where’s Fluffy?”  I cried laughing, he was so matter-of-fact about it.  I light a candle for his dad, who died recently.  I only met him the once, when I gave a homily at the Comox Valley Fellowship, but I was very impressed with him indeed.  He will be missed.

Too Long; Didn’t Read

One of the many useful internet acronyms is TL;DR.  That’s when your truncated attention span decides to step out for a soda.

Continue reading Too Long; Didn’t Read

Master Jeff is in da house

Eddie and Gizmo celebrated his return by running up and down the hallway in an attempt to mimic the percussive qualities of army boots on wooden floors.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop with the ghetto slang.  I know there are many things that are seriously wrong with me…that seems to be pretty minor, all things considered.

That goshdarned full moon, which was fan-dancing with the clouds when I was standing on the ‘train platform last night!  I went to Brentwood Mall under its malign influence and bought matching earrings, bag, shoes and hairband (?!) and then bought, yeesh, makeup and got taught, in a very luxurious and unhurried way, how to apply it.  I’d say something about lipstick on a pig at this point, but I suspect nautilus3 is rather sensitive on that subject, for two reasons; one, the pig is her totem animal and she’s not one for mocking them, and two, when she was a high powered executive with 600 full time equivalents reporting to her (didn’t know that, eh, thought she was just a nice old lady, did ya?) lipstick was the only makeup she wore.  I wish I’d stayed and gotten my toes done but I’ll see if I can do that tonight.

mOm and pOp told OnSpec to send me a free copy of the their mag, and for bedtime reading (I hardly ever read a book these days, such is the pull of one phosphor dot screen or another) I read halfway through it.  Apart from thinking that the writing style of all the contributors remarkably similar, I really enjoyed it, and I think I will subscribe.  When you pick up a mag and DON’T think at any point, why’n’earth did they publish this, that’s a good sign.  I even liked the poetry, which is either a sign of necrosis of the brain or quality, you pick.

Off to a party tonight (thus the matching shoes, bag, earrings, hairband), and I will look fabulous in my outfit.  I even depilated, which is either a sign of the apocalypse or that I’ll be exposing more of my surface area than is normally the case, you pick.  Daughter Katie’s supposed to turn up and fix my hair, but after a lot of fussing around last night (Jeff would have been harrumphing had he been here, I was in the facility so long) I think I can do it myself if she bails. At least she’s okay.  I grouse, but I worry ’bout that kid. She’s moving back in with her pop and Keith and I for one am thrilled.

Tomorrow, I go shopping at Famous Foods in the AM and then ScaryClown comes over in the PM and we’ll have a documentary fest and I think I’ll cook up some yummy food.  He has to leave early (after supper) because he’s due to get up at hours ungodly on Sunday to get to the airport to fly to Providence, where he intends at some point to climb in a taxi or round up a sympathetic coworker (it’s a biz trip) and get driven out to HP Lovecraft’s grave.

This, like everything else in my mind, dovetails neatly with other family news; the parental units have commissioned a metal sculpture of one of the Old Ones.  It is disguised as a cephalopod, but those in the know will be aware that it is actually (dah dah duhhn!) something otherworldly.

I am planning on taking ScaryClown to Gadget House at some point and asking my parents to adopt him as a grandson, or possibly a nephew.  The idea of going on a road trip with ScaryClown alternately makes me blanch, giggle and furrow my brow.

Then, Sunday, my 50th birthday. It simply wouldn’t BE my birthday if I wasn’t importing guests, so Dr Filk has, with my warm thanks, agreed to come across the pond – Lady Miss Banjola, who will likely also attend, is requiring his presence for further practice, rehearsal, and scoffing, teasing and saying, You’re Fired repeatedly. All perfectly standard.  It should be a small and convivial crewe.  (Also with any luck Darwin the Alert and Lexi the Not-So-Alert-as-Darwin will attend.)  I’m gonna have an acoustic bass in my living room.  Let joy be unrefined!  Oh, yes, there will be filk.

I just opened a card from my folks, which reads “Thank you for the special gift of being our daughter.  Happy half century!”  Gosh, (scuffs toes) couldn’t have done it without yuz. PS thanks for the terabyte drive pOp.  Jeff and I are considering what uses to put it to…..

From Paul – for Keith

Next time you talk to Keith, you might like to pass him some kudos.
Here’s the skinny: we’re doing Mr. Canoehead coming home from Deer Lake.
Keith’s driving for the first time in a year or two & he doesn’t like the
idea of Canada Way at 18:30 so I say pull into the Esso on the corner &
watch the traffic for a while & if you don’t like it, I’ll take over.
Second time the light goes red for Canada Way he says “Let’s go for it and
I’ll drive along in my own little space,” and starts to pull out onto the road
when this idiot turns left into the station and winds up stopped in the
roadway head on to us.
I say, don’t worry about it Keith & he blithely maneuvers around and heads
south. Of course a few more idiots have to blow by us like we’re going
backwards even though we’re doing the limit, but Keith doesn’t get rattled,
just stays in his lane & asks for advice when he needs it.
Best part of all was when he had to parallel park in front of the house.
We’ve got a space that’s about 7 ft. longer than we are & we’ve got a canoe
on top. To make a long story even longer, Keith, with a little coaching put
rear wheel 2 in from the curb, front wheel on and three feet space in back,
four out front IN ONE PASS no guff folks.
He was pretty proud of himself.

And SO AM I.

Off to Mission.

I won’t be posting until after I get home from Mission tomorrow; it’s time for the festival out there with my current and previous coworkers, including no fewer than two bosses, and which involves stringed instruments, alcohol and the World’s Best Campfireâ„¢. Continue reading Off to Mission.

Percy Schmeiser

My god.  There is something about Saskatchewan farmers, without which this country would be immeasurably poorer.

Anyway, he took on Monsanto and won, and Paul and I went to the VPL to hear him talk.  I have never been so inspired, so disgusted, so frightened, and so proud to be a Canadian.  It was an amazing, life changing experience.  And his wife of 55 years, Louise, sat in the back and knitted.  He doesn’t travel these days without her.  She got a big round of applause too.  Without her, he would have given up early during his decade long fight.

I don’t want to get any of it wrong, so here’s his story.

Give them some money.  Really.  That nice old man is fighting an important battle for every person on the planet.

Domestic tranquillity update

I phoned Jeff last night after going a little wacky at the mall (total haul $100, shoes and tights) and said, “Don’t feel like cooking.  How do you feel about the Keg?” which plan met with enthusiastic endorsement.  Out of respect for mOm’s diet I’m going to skip the usual trough report.

My plants arrived!  Gai Lan, peppermint and Thai Basil.  I’ll be repotting them this weekend. I just gave them a little water.

I have a mild two inch scratch from Eddie, having helped clip his back nails.  No other injuries were reported.

There are at least fifteen blossoms on the strawberry plants out front.  I must go water them.

I send good thoughts to: mOm, Granny, Tammy, Katie daughter, Kopper, LTGW for the unwitting suggestion which finally broke the dam on the homily, the Luddite, Jeff and kitties of course (although one side growl for the unbelievable amount of hall-running they did last night), Tom and Peggy (get over here for dinner!), Glenn and Maggie (ditto!), Tom U. (ditto!), Mike, Heather, Jarmo and the gang that’s going to Indiana Jones tonight, Patricia, Tom McM, Carolyn Porco, everybody at JPL, all Dunnett fans, and all filkers everywhere.

Oh, I ordered a Zoom H2.  I couldn’t help myself; after almost a year of drooling on Lady Miss B’s H2 I gave in to the dark side and ordered it.

I have cancelled my planned trip to Denvention – I’m going to be needing every penny for France.

I am thinking of a certain pregnant woman, and confecting an especially airy and happy nest of thoughts for her.

A particularly happy and grateful shout out to Jeff, who has shouldered my tech support issues with the understated competence of a true professional.

Oh, and a big hug to the HR department at work.  I approached them and said, calmly, “I want to kill a co-worker.”

Response:  “Really?  Have some chocolate and tell me about it.”

End result:  15 minutes later, I’m back at my desk, snickering, and feeling much better.

Oh.  Nobody in my department – somebody else.  The folks in my department entirely rock, I love them.

social it be

Jeff and I went to see Jerome and Shannon last night for a barbecue. Shannon made Jerome a birthday cake that had whipped cream icing, two kinds. And chocolate. And raspberries. I only report this so my mother, who is dieting in perpetuity, can go OOOOO.  Best Cake Ever.  The barbq itself was stellar.
There were a whole bunch of other people there including (this is just weird) another brother sister combo. As is usual everybody attending was smart, funny and good-natured. Rob (the Baumfest Rob, not RobofNine) and his two adorable, active childer, Elise and Arden, were there, and also, another kid, Maya (spelling?) who apparently learned to talk overnight recently and was saying, in that adorable high pitched voice “unca jrome? unca jrome?” and did a variety of other cute things that had me saying goo. Maya had a mom and a nice older brother Julian, who couldn’t be four yet, but he didn’t do that “I will scowl at you for about ten seconds and THEN smile at you thing” which Maya has down to a science and is guaranteed to melt the heart of anybody who wasn’t a sociopath to begin with.  There was also one other child there, an adorable, just barely walking tot named Isaac (who is the spirit and image of his dad, another coworker named Kevin).  Mike and Heather were there as well – Mike made Yam Fries.  Oh, and when Maya and Julian had to go, Julian said in response to somebody else saying “You’re going?” “The car has to go back,” so I instantly knew mom had a CAN car.
Yeah, it was a good time.

Yesterday, besides prepping veggies for the partay, I made mac and cheese from scratch, spaghetti sauce, cookies, and we did a shop in the morning which made all that possible. I also unpacked a couple of boxes, but I still need to do more.  I guess I’m thinking that I don’t want to do more until more space magically appears; I should transfer stuff into boxes and put it in storage, not mess up the middle room with it.

The breakfast nook is now delightful – there is a big enough table and in the morning it’s beautiful and airy and bright.  I’m thinking I should blog out here, then I can watch the cats at the end of the street have a convention.

All of the neighbouring dogs, with the exception of Meadow, the brindle Boston terrier in the basement,  bark like sons of bitches.  The landlord’s dog is brutally loud and will bark at you if she even sees you in the kitchen window from her vantage point on the deck across the alley.

More cooking and puttering today.  I kinda sorta hafta go to church today… an optics thing.  I am hoping I’ll get a lift home.  Now to figure out which bus to take to get out there, as I’m trying to reduce expenses somewhat.