Category: Whining

Bizzy day

I have to go down to the church and pick up the banner and literature for New West Pride.  It’s going to be so Nixonianly hot today I might as well pre melt myself and pour myself in Margot’s water dish.  Then I get to come home, lie down in front of the ac for a couple of hours, and in the evening get up and go (it’s in Burnaby, thankfully) to see Heather Dale and Ben Deschamps.  Morosely hoping there’s ac at the concert site.

And I don’t want to do any of it as the heat is making me wretched. I am also suffering the consequences of having worn pantyhose and heels for the first time in three months yesterday.  What ties a fool to his body?  A promise.  And lest anybody be upset, it’s a Dunnett quote.  It was CRUSHINGLY hot in here last night and the ac ran all night, which is just ludicrous for this part of the world.

This morning Margot came into my room and jumped on my bed, and at one point even sat on my pillow. She hasn’t done that since she was a kitten.  It turns out she was trying to get me to let Eddie in for his breakfast, at which point she joined him.  I wish she’d vocalize, it would make it easier.

Curiosity has landed

Jeff and I stayed up, and were pleased when everything came out as planned.  Al Chen should do an audiobook of classic porn, I’d buy the hell out of such a thing.

I made some steampunk bling for Otto yesterday.

Other than that my day consisted of me lying around attempting not to die from 28 degrees at 77 percent humidity yesterday.  The air conditioner ran night and day.  It was hot all through the house, basement included; I felt like a lizard panting on a rock all day.  Miserably sweaty.  Finally I dragged out one of the fans and it actually made a difference.

 

 

 

Sundry and various

Mars landing today.  It will either be an expensive failure or a spectacular success.

I think I’ll head off to Costco once it opens and pick up some serplies.  I definitely want to do it before the sun is up too high.

I have fallen in love with fresh chard salad.  Chop bunch of chard.  Nuke until soft.  Add butter and lemon. Refrigerate.  Nom.  It doesn’t get much simpler than that and my body provides very happy feedback when I ingest it.  (Oh, iron… b vitamins…. you love me, you really love me!)

2020 says THIS SHIT IS TURRIBLE FER YER KIDNEYS

I really wish it wasn’t so hot.  When it’s this hot at 8 in the morning it’s hard to get enthusiastic about any kind of physical labour.

Cleaned up the guest room, which used to be Katie’s dumping ground for all of her clothes (she refused to sleep on the guest room bed, always sleeping on the downstairs sofa).  I have removed the last of the Katie debris, cold medication, her assessment from the fitness club, half an earring set and suchlike, and now I’m contemplating dragging the vacuum cleaner downstairs.

I just want to stay curled up in bed with a Dorothy Dunnett novel, except it’s too hot to even do that.

A mad wor(l)d my masters

Snoop Dogg went to JaMAIca and came back a Rasta.  He now goes by Snoop Lion and his next album will be entirely reggae.  Tis fabulous news!  Hope he covers at least one Sublime tune…

OMG  I just spent two hours reading RADFem and Transfem blogs and the hate and bigotry are so tiresome and frightening that I went to a Men’s Rights blog for a while to help me get my bearings.

Unclear on the concept – private company tries to trademark Anonymous.

Paul’s back from Ontario, brown as a walnut and sporting a rather luxurious multicolored beard.  He poked his head in briefly last night and it was good to see him in such good spirits!  Then he had to go to work….

Eddie haz a sad.  He hates it when Jeff is gone for any length of time.

Had brekky with the lovely and everblooming Sue, and how good it was to spend some time with her.

Now, back to work.  I have learned that when you’re writing trombone lines, you need lots of places for players to take breaths, as they need more air than any other brass instrument.

 

 

Saturday housefilk Lazy Sunday

Sunday wasn’t actually 100% lazy, we put the awning back up in the back deck. They did SUCH A SH*TTY JOB of power washing. Water POURED into the house and soaked some rugs and wrecked some laundry soap. Jeff exposed me to ER, which I never got to watch because Paul and I didn’t have cable for most of the time we lived together.

Saturday, the housefilk was totally amazing; Jeri Lynn and Jeff came up from Seattle and so there was CELLO and BASS and DULCIMER AND 12 STRING and BANJOLA and OCTAVE MANDOLIN and 6 STRING and OCARINA and BODHRAN and we sang played ate drank mint tea, rinse repeat, until almost 11 pm. THANK YOU TOM AND PEGGY FOR HOSTING, my place next Saturday. Cousin Lexi was there and she choked with laughter when we played a Habitrail named Klein.

Today I’m going to have lunch with Dustiny (I am joking with his name) and I’m looking forward to it as I am already planning to order Butter Chicken with extra cilantro.

Today I am baking biscotti and working on some other money making stuff. Also since I’m in the mood, more song notation. (It goes much faster when I am not forcing myself).

Everybody have a lovely day!

Friday teh 13th o noes.

Today the horror of the landlord’s minion coming to pressure wash the back deck, which will probably disassemble, it’s so rickety (or at least parts of it are).

Last night the horror of the evil across the street black and white cat whom I narrowly missed ejecting from the house. He came in and started fighting with Eddy, who has taken to guarding the cat door with Margot sitting about three metres back from him. Margot is showing signs of developing a healthier regard for her skin than has been evident previously.

Saw Brave yesterday with the kids and Katie’s beau, who was much distracted by the transmission on his month old car crapping out. I really enjoyed it. Lovely animation with some awesome sight gags.

Had a fucking uninspired and oversalted meal at Ihop yesterday, but Tamara’s company more than made up for it. We caught up (it’s been AGES since I saw her, like 10 years or something equally ludicrous) and LAUGHED our faces off. She looks radiant with health and enthusiasm and that is a special privilege to be around.

Too hot to bake today so I’ll go off and do other business related things, god knows there’s a list a mile long. I’ve already practiced and I’m just finishing up the instrument case for Otto so it will be ready tomorrow. I need to find some upholstery tacks.

A few remarks about migraines

I didn’t have my first migraine until I was expecting Keith; normally migraines start earlier than that.  In that, however, I have been very very consistent; the neurologist says I get atypical migraines.  Like a bucket of memes, I just never know what I’m gonna get!

When I get a flash, or a weird sensation, or a heavy lowering feeling, I never know what to think.  Is it “Ermagerd, I’m having a small stroke?” (link removed for safety)  Is it, “Bloody weather!”.  Is it, “Oh great, now I can’t trust my emotions, since a migraine made me think I needed to end it all when I er, actually had no basis for such a belief!!?”  (Actually, on sober second consideration, when CAN one trust one’s emotions? Apart from the Gift of Fear?)

Then there’s the bizarre range of physical sensations, previously catalogued, and visual disturbances (which in the last five years have occasionally been mesmerizingly beautiful, like the time my entire visual field briefly filled (transparently, I hasten to add, so if I had been driving I still would have been able to see) with coruscating rainbow fishscales about two inches wide at arms length.  SO PRETTY HOW I GET SOME.  EAT UM!

About five years ago my relationship with migraines changed.  I realized that since migraines are brain chemistry foulups, pure and simple, I had the power to change my brain chemistry.  If I think happy thoughts, I can make scintillating scotomas go away.  At first I did not want to believe that I could do that, but I have enough evidence to satisfy myself that, yup, I can do that.  If I sit, breathe, think about the days I gave birth to my children, and saw Hole at Thunderbird Stadium, and went to Hot Springs Cove, and watched mOm and pOp put up the geodesic greenhouse in the back yard in Ottawa, and saw mammatus clouds IRL, and saw a UFO shaped lenticular cloud, and flew to Vancouver in an Otter about 15 meters off the deck the whole way…. I can make that brain chemistry break up like morning fog.

So I dunno, Ms. Migraine, whether you think you’re going to land on me today, but I don’t want you around, so I gotta cheer up.

Lists of lists

Yesterday:

Heaps of Stargate Atlantis, but also talking to the outplacementthingy and the HR gal at Schneider as it turns out I had NOT actually signed everything I was s’posed to, booking appointments, paying bills, getting programs to run properly with the new OS, hanging out with Keith and calling my mother.  Cause you cain’t call yer mother enuf.  I did not actually leave the house yesterday.  But I made cookies.  And cooked chicken and zucchini with black bean sauce over yakisoba noodles (Keith provided the sauce and noodles, I believe to nudge me to make something) and we had leftovers so that’s one less thing to disturb me today.

Today:

Gotta get Buzz set up properly and restrung.  Also buy more instrument stands, hopefully one of those threeway bluegrass ones for three different sized instruments.  Also I am tired of my tuner; I am going to get contact tuners because balancing that black box in my lap while trying to keep fretted instruments from sounding like the wailing of the damned is TOO DAMNED MUCH.  See how low my frustration tolerance is these days?  Ha.

The Grass.  This is exactly the kind of weather that makes grass tall, lush, and impossible to cut.  Lots of overcast and rain off and on with the occasional blinding sunshine.  Very, very occasional.  If it dries out the least bit I gotta do it before it attempts to eat east Burnaby.

Checking with Kathleen that we’ve paid the church rent and figuring out how much it is (it changes from month to month) if we haven’t yet for May. Also getting hold of Lady Miss D for an interview about what it’s like to bake / construct hors d’oevres for a living.  I will probably bake biscotti, it’s such a crappy day, heating up the kitchen with nice smells seems like a plan. I already made Granny’s recipe oatmeal cookies mit chocolate chips this morning for Jeff (I can’t eat them because le migraine keeps whacking me.  I’ve had scintillating scotoma every day for a week now… it’s fraking tiresome although late last week I got visuals I’ve never seen before; imagine rainbow coloured fish scales about two inches across at arms length dancing across your ENTIRE visual field – and it disappeared as fast as it came on thank goodness). I’ve also loaded the dishwasher, taken out the trash and played with Margot, who did not actually come in and cuddle this morning, darn. Her eyes are much less disgusting, the allergies must be lightening up somewhat.

Completely dejunking my head, a la Getting things Done.  I have a program (Thinking Rock) that helps with that.  Considering how many balls I’m going to have in the air for the next little while I need to marshall my time intelligently.

Deal with the exercise issue.  I’m completely on board with Lady Miss Banjola’s recent extremely useful and heartfelt rant about weight loss; what I am not on board with is actually stirring my stumps and getting enough exercise to overcome the fact that my weight is stressing my whole body.  IT AIN’T THE MASS IT’S THE MOTION.  Ahem. As in, the lack of it.

Booking the camping trip in the US in August.  Planning a circuit of the Island.  I have a strong urge to drive onto a ferry and go to Haida Gwaii, and precious little to stop me.

Just last week I was saying how I wasn’t going to go to Jericho any more because it’s so far on a school night.  Now I’m thinking I can do it every week for the whole summer!  Woot! So that may be my evening.

And soon the Dandy Warhols.

I have had precisely four beers since I ‘quit drinking’. What I have learned.  Alcohol makes me happy for about five minutes.  Then it irritates my bladder, fogs my thinking, prevents me from driving or leaving the house, screws up my nights’ sleep, makes my stomach hurt and gives me a mild to moderate feeling of wretched blankness the next morning which coffee can usually shake off.  So for the purposes of keeping tracking June 4 is now my official quit drinking date.  Unless it would be rude not to (a wake, toasting the bride and groom) I’m not going to consume alcohol any more.  Nothing bad has happened in its absence except I’m spending a sizable amount less (like, 200 dollars a month, which is not an inconsiderable amount).

 

Tingling and numbness

Yesterday, 1 pm, worst scotoma in about a decade.  Just barely made it home in time to barf – been two decades since that happened with a migraine.  Long bath.  Bed.  Dragged myself up at Jeff’s return and got the octave mandolin from the post office and then back home to collapse.  Awake at 5 am and now I have a tremendous post migraine headache and an equally tremendous desire to feel sorry for myself.  Right eyelid is drooping…

travelling woman

1.  Excellent and wondahful visit with the parental units.  I got a photo scan of the old homestead in SK, had my traditional coffee and cinnamon bun (best commercial cinnamon buns ever) at Dan’s after a lovely ride in the country, communed with some skunk cabbage, watched the hummingbirds, who are quite active these days (three sucking back syrup with another circling, occasional flashes of the O My God red as the sun hits them), watched a quail peck a pileated woodpecker while the woodpecker ignored him, cooked a couple of lovely meals for the folks, which my mother quite appreciated, watched some nature programs, and felt pride as Katie passed the 48 hour mark of quitting smoking.  Fingers crossed she makes it this time!

2.  RUDE FUCKING START TO THE DAY.  I had to yell at the cab driver.  I will post a copy of the letter

 

Dear Sir,

I am a long time and mostly satisfied customer of Bonny’s Taxi, whose
services I have been using since 1998.

I am complaining in the strongest possible terms about the complete
disregard for the safety, comfort and wallet of the customer
demonstrated by the above-named driver.

This morning I got a cab to the airport from Bonny’s.  I SPECIFICALLY
TOLD THE DRIVER NOT TO MOVE THE CAB UNTIL I WAS BELTED IN.

The reason I did this is because my daughter just got a 147 $ ticket
because the cab driver she selected took off before she was belted in.

The driver verbally agreed to stop and then immediately sped off again
prior to me even being able to get the belt anywhere close to secured.
I had to yell at him to get him to stop the cab, which I am not proud
of, but he disregarded my clearly stated and lawful instructions.

As you are no doubt aware, the fine for not being belted in is borne
by the customer, not the cab driver.  I understand that time is money
but when your driver’s anxiousness to make some money potentially
costs the customer money and the aggravation of a court date, there is
something seriously wrong with the safety training and customer
service ethic of your drivers.

I would like a refund of my $44.30 cab fare and a reprimand on B.
D—–‘s file.  To be clear, apart from running a couple of yellow
lights and failure to make legal stops under the HTA, the fines for
which would have been borne by the driver, there was nothing else
wrong with his driving.

I look forward to your prompt response, which will factor into my
decision whether or not I complain to the licensing agency.

Thank you for your time.

“Scalded” “Scrotum”

In the last five minutes, Katie has asked for assistance in spelling the above noted two words.  This is as a consequence of her having to write down notes every day about the nasty & harassing work environment she’s currently dealing with.

 

OWWWWWWWWWWWW

Katie wishes it to be known that those two words were not in the same sentence.

Prodrome turns into fullblown

Well.  That spacy feeling was actually prodrome.  I took sick (weakness and vertigo) around 9 pm and after bringing me a glass of water Cindy went home.   Hell of an evening for her. I staggered to bed.

15 minutes of vertigo accompanied by weird visuals (bright teal and navy blue geometric progressions and I think I would have appreciated them a lot more if the bed hadn’t been jerking around.)

5 minutes of physical symptoms which included feeling like the inside of my head was full of cicadas and that somebody was repeatedly lowering a heavy weight onto my stomach, and weird wobbly noises like the sensation of having water in your ear.

about five minutes of feeling tight in the chest, probably panic from all the weird new sensations.  Breathed through that.

Then I spent about five more minutes getting my head into a position where it wasn’t buzzing, as the buzzing came and went depending on how I rested my head on the pillow.

Then I fell asleep.

It was the weirdest migraine ever, probably triggered by the barometric hops of the last couple of days and relief of pressure from starting my holidays, also I sneezed about a million times yesterday.  I only had 1.5 beers and I suppose that could have contributed but I don’t think so.

I’ve had so many really weird migraines and in fact my neurologist characterized them as atypical that I think that’s what it was.  I also have the weird spacies like I get after an attack.

My grandmother was very subject to vertigo.  Vertigo really sucks.

Those cicadas, though.  Imagine that Peggy’s bowed bass sound is INSIDE your head.  That’s what it was like.  Most extraordinary sensation.

So I am okay, and once more amazed that my brain can completely detach from consensus reality and go on its own little journey!  Also, I got to sell my car.