Way better…..

Peggy Lee….

I thought I’d cheer myself up by listening to Fever by Peggy Lee, and I thought I’d forward the link.

Although I didn’t sleep for nearly long enough, I got up this morning feeling more rested and less pained than I have in quite a while.  Last night I made an honest effort to apologize and make it up to somebody I’ve wounded. I was told that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, that I have no notion about friendship, that I walk through life like a victim, that every interaction is a competition for me and I have to “win”, and that I have a black belt in cruelty and hypocrisy.

So I guess it’s fair to say she’s not in a forgiving mood.  Me, I’m feeling way better.  I tried to make amends.  I listened to her carefully.  Then I went home and asked Dr. Filk if he thought I was cruel and hypocritical, and he pulled a face.  After admitting that he could think of thousands of unpleasant comments to make about me, he simply didn’t buy cruel and hypocrital. Dr. Filk has lived with me for the best part of a decade.  He’s certainly seen me at my worst and I haven’t noticed him sparing the horses when it comes to offering opinions.
Keith, of course, whose commitment to accuracy is both part of his charm and an ongoing trial, said, “Well you’re no crueler than most and somewhat less hypocritical,” which I thought was pretty cool, actually.  I mean, you don’t expect to come off well if you ask your kids something like that.  Haven’t seen Katie to ask her, but it should be really intense when I do.

In the meantime my back and my leg are feeling much better.  And I’m going to do standup tonight!  Actually I’m going to do a little bit of standup and Miss Manners Has Her Say.  Yes, please! No thanks! Maybe later! (as the chorus goes).

As predicted

Yesterday at work was completely and utterly without incident. It was so peaceful and happy that it really was quite remarkable.

The bruise on my calf from where the muscle snapped is now a tennis ball sized navy circle. However, I am walking much better. The muscle that snapped is also the one that the sciatic nerve travels through… no coincidence I suspect… so I’m all twingy and twangy and the foot numbness is pretty bad. Still it’s good to be able to walk faster than a constipated snail and I get fifteen metres at a time when I’m not even limping at all.  Especially on level ground.
Keith just brought me coffee, happy child.  Katie, of course, is absent and hasn’t called.  She must be pretty confused right now.  The next 85 words deleted because they aren’t sufficiently constructive and respectful.

I came back into the house when I missed my bus.  Then the phone rang and Paul said he’d give me a lift.  A week ago I would have passed.  But things have changed, as always.
The other night the kids called a family meeting and essentially read us the riot act.

Her Majesty the Queen charges and commands all persons being assembled immediately to disperse and peaceably to depart to their habitations or to their lawful business on the pain of being guilty of an offence for which, on conviction, they may be sentenced to imprisonment for life. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. 

Or to the like effect.  Essentially, they don’t give a shit if Paul and I are having trouble living together; they want us to keep the peace and stay in the house.  Katie isn’t so attached to the house but she’s much attached to peacefulness (rude, unconstructive comment here deleted…).  So now we’re in non-non-divorce territory; we can’t divorce because we aren’t married and we can’t split up because of our extremely convenient living arrangements as itemized by our children, who see their comfortable berth during the next phase of their schooling evaporating if we split.  However, thanks to the wonders of the Inertnest, it turns out that a non non divorce is completely normal, and how couples did things anyways before divorce was popularized by a particularly scummy brand of shyster, operating in cahoots with the MSM.

So, we still have to hammer out a separation agreement and there are other domestic issues hanging fire, but it was very bizarre having my domestic arrangements critiqued with such relentless and dispassionate efficiency by my children; it could only happen to me and Paul.

Much better

I’m still a-limpin’ and a-gimpin’, but I think I’m mobile enough to go to work. I took a ton of calcium, as people told me that was the likely problem, and who knows if it helped, but I feel much better and I slept okay. I didn’t actually make it to the doctor, but if you know what the weather was like yesterday you won’t be too surprised. And besides, both of the kids were here yesterday and we actually had a very mellow day.

I made bean soup yesterday. That will allow me to more fully express myself today, what with the MSM and glucosamine and all. And don’t forget the beer.

Somebody’s doing a documentary about Harlan Ellison. That’s special. Want to see Harlan read a story?

The hands on the nuclear clock moved. China’s doing Star Wars stuff… The Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty is up in 2009 and what with all the threatening noises being made by Russia, Iran, North Korea and our neighbors to the south, it’s hard to feel like the future is a glorious place. (It’s even harder when you’re experiencing chronic pain, too.) I am reminded of the deathless lines from “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”….

“For us, there will never be happiness!”

“We must learn to be happy without it.”

Bucketing snow, raining pain

And Stephen Harper is my country’s Prime Minister.  I suppose it could be worse; Mugabe or somesuch.

I am experiencing almost the same amount of pain and hobbling as I did when I first sproinged my L5S1.  Truly, it’s remarkable.  I’m off to the clinic later to see if I can get some painkillers; sleep last night was a chimerical thing.  They specifically tell you NOT to point your toes when you have this kind of muscle meshugas, but the only way I could sleep was on my stomach with my toes pointed.  I’ve called in sick and I am supposed to have a scheduled vacation day tomorrow but there’s some really weird stuff happening at work that I think I’d prefer to be there to see, and it’s Mr. Clean’s last day before a month of leave, so we prob’ly have to do the download thing.

Onelegwest is staying on until February, Hurrah.   So the Lunch Bunch Mark IV will not be sundered as soon as I feared.

I’m 17 days off cigarettes.  I’ve had two bouts of cravings, both easily managed.

Kira is watching it snow with a look of utmost distaste and a very subdued twitching of her tail. Vis is down to about an eighth of a mile.

lose weight, quit coffee, death of a fascist

How to avoid decisions
2005-04-14— Posted by: allegra


Man, I had no effing CLUE how many ways I could avoid making a decision! Next time something really tough comes up I’ll have a menu to choose from, and that makes me sincerely happy.

2005-04-14— Posted by: allegra

Wolfgang Droege, the Toronto-dwelling neo-Nazi, was shot to death yesterday. I am sorry he died before coming to an understanding and correction of his errors and felonious ways, but in other respects I concur with what the immortal Moms Mabley said upon hearing that Richard Nixon had gone to his reward. “Say nothing but good of the dead. He’s dead. Good.”

As I only have about another five minutes before I run to the bus, I think I’m going to do my ‘takeoff cycle’ and peruse my favourite sites, then skid out of here.

it’s official
2005-04-14— Posted by: allegra

There’s nothing wrong with me that quitting caffeine and losing 40 pounds wouldn’t fix. I promise faithfully that the next time I think there’s something wrong with me I’ll go for a walk instead of visiting my doctor.