Alex, bless her, provides the illo

She forwarded a bunch of housefilk pics from The Dawn of Time, let us just say the best part of 15 years. That’s her, Tom L, not sure and Peggy on standup bass (probably sometime around 2007 but why let facts intrude.)

Emotionally the effect of seeing Paul every day for a week is difficult. However he was perfectly happy to be left at Peggy’s at 4 pm, which was my “I’ve been doing unpaid family related babysitting for two different generations for eight hours and I haven’t pull a full work shift since 2017 so I’m done” o’clock. Yes it was nice to see Alex yesterday (he showed off more pictures, and I loaned him the Kaossilator and Keith finally got home from his morning of difficult appointments) and I fed him and got fed on Keith’s tortellini stew (nice because Paul plated and warmed it for me) but I was ready to go home at one and I hadn’t even made it to Peggy’s yet. So he either walked home (1.9 k in perfect weather, well within his max cap) or Jeff C, being one of the good ones, gave him a lift.

When I got home Jeff had supper ready for me. I nearly burst into tears I was so relieved. Then we watched Farscape and Elementary and tried to watch Iké (a movie) but Jeff bailed.

It was delightful and sad to hear Jeff C. relate the circumstances around his father’s death and funeral (the sound system went berserk and yelled in God Voice BE NOT AFRAID while Jeff was at the lectern which is just typical Jeff; the world is an anecdote waiting to be recounted and his life is merely one strand of it.) He also talked about family history and it was very interesting. His father was abandoned by his mother to his grandmother when he was tiny. He had continuity of care but you never get over your mother going WELP DINNA CANNA. And he was organized enough to arrange to buy an anniversary card and sign it while he still could, so he was in the ground four months when his widow got the card…. very organized. Also kind of I don’t know what word to use, uncanny mebbe.

Jeri Lynn spun, using her extremely sophisticated modern spinning wheel (many bits to fall off, and they all tried to at some point), and I got to feel her skeins of unspun wool, including some baby alpaca MAN YOU WANT SOFT you will go into a swoon touching it. She was also previously baking, rolling out spice cookies with a complicated rolling pin when we arrived.

Cindy and Jas were there making Christmas cookies (the real point of the weekend) because Peggy causes someone to bring the spare stove upstairs and then they (the American Thanksgiving baking team) cook nonstop for a couple of days. I am subsidizing lunch today and it will be either ARGO or Big Star. I’m thinking Big Star and I’ll pick up a side salad. Jas was wearing a t-shirt that said ASK ME ABOUT MY HOST ORGANISM and I complimented him on it.

Brooke was in a corner doing a 100 pattern blackwork circle sampler (in multiple colours of course) and swapping Pokémons with Jeri Lynn, Greg was there ingesting hot chocolate and computer games (much as Alex would do were he there).

Finally put gas in the Echo Paul loaned me. I’m considering taking it to someplace to get the fluids checked. I won’t do it and I don’t know when Paul last did.

We didn’t bring instruments. It was my judgement that a) there are enough quality guitars in the house LOL and we haven’t seen Jeff and Jeri Lynn in yonks so let’s visit and do the music the next day (they leave today but later).

I’ll be picking Paul up around 11:30 and then we’ll drive over and I’ll order lunch for the folks. I’ll also pick up a bunch of side salads so we get our veggies.

I feel beat and I just woke up. It will be another long day; enjoyable, but it’s hard.

from theconcealedweapon on tumblr:

What an autistic person says: “How long is it going to take?”

What they mean: “I want to know whether to activate my short term waiting mode where I just wait and do nothing else, or activate my long term waiting mode where I occupy my mind with something else. I fully understand that both are possibilities, and I have no problem whatsoever with either one, but I want more information so I can best adapt to the situation.”

What neurotypical people hear: “I am impatient and demand that everything I want happen right now. Please scold me and publicly humiliate me for it.”

I’ll be talking to the fam about how much I can do with Paul and how many hours in one day/week I can manage, because if this keeps up I’ll get sick. These days I spend so much time every day crying I feel like I’m sick already.

pot8um on twitter:

So many things are out of kids’ control— uncomfy clothes, loud noises, icky food, confusing rules… As an adult, I make my own choices. I wear, eat, and do what I like, because if I don’t, I get overloaded. That’s why I don’t remind you of your 8-year-old autistic nephew.

just the facts

Took Paul to a dr. appointment. Took him to get his meds refilled. Tried to get copies of keys made for his place, it didn’t work since it isn’t clear he selected the right keys to make copies of. Once again denied that he had a diagnosis. Once again acted like he was going to get his drivers licence back. His blood pressure is normal again. I fed him macaroni and cheese and half a mango and darjeeling tea. I did his toenails, which were heinous, I assure you.

I’ve spoken to Mike but it was a very saddening (not scary) call and I can’t say more here.

I’ve spoken to Jan G., Jim’s wife. Jim was napping so I didn’t get to speak with him and it sounds like he’s having more than his share of suboptimal shit at the moment.

I sent mac and cheese to Katie for a lunch. Keith sent me home with tortellini and veg, and kidney bean and beef stew. So I don’t have to cook for a couple of days.

I am thinking of making more cinnamon buns though.

I emailed Dave to ask him if I had his permission to call him up and VENT because god knows I need to.

Philostratus quote

“But your charm is always in bloom—this is how the autumn of your beauty still smiles like the spring in your eyes and on your cheeks.” – some old Greek dude

Makes me think of my mother, and in fact all the elderwomen of my family.

Lovely long call with Dave yesterday. I told him which poem I tried to read to my mother and he said, well, this is more or less where it was an outgrowth of. This video is to reward him/punish him for sending me the SINGLE MOST MINDBUSTING ‘dumbed down’ physics from Scientific American I’ve ever seen.

I mean I can’t even describe it. Three dimensionality DOESN’T EXIST???? IT’S AN EMERGENT PROPERTY? (inarticulate howls of incomprehension).

Anyway he spent five minutes explaining why he can’t get his cats into their carrier. Thus the video.

Spent part of the morning at the Junction. Keith had an errand and picked up Re-Up – their pulled pork and cole slaw is effing fantastic. I kept Paul company, helped Suzanne 1% with Ryker – what a squirmy boy and besides he was napping for the first 90 minutes – and wiped down a couple of counters – and made some hazelnut vanilla tea we got from our last foray into Lougheed Mall. I feel like the ‘volunteer’ at the CMHA Ontario division all those years ago before the first time I got pregnant. (Utterly useless except to make tea.) As far as I know Katie’s first day back went okay.

lovely day of being communicative sometimes

I got two restaurant meals. Paul took me and Keith out for a delayed birthday supper and also to get out of the house so Katie could have some birthday joy in their absence. (He also paid for a takeout schnitzel meal for Jeff, who was too mired in work to go!) Keith talked continuously throughout. Paul literally did not say a word during the entire meal except “Do you want more wine.” (I had Stella, I don’t drink wine). I tried to get a word in edgewise and it was like whizzing into the wind, so I stopped. I’m buying a fucking chess clock, see if I don’t. It was quite disheartening and I can see why Katie wanted them both out of the house.

Anyway, Keith went to church yesterday (he’s networking in process of looking for work) and he spent a goodly amount of time during his peroration at dinner describing what advice he’d give to the church about growing the congregation and I’m like SILENTLY: DO YOU THINK WE DID NOT ADDRESS AND ENGAGE WITH ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS WHILE I WAS ON THE BOARD OF THE CHURCH AND OTHERWISE ACTIVE and DO YOU THINK I AM UNAWARE OF THE DEMOGRAPHIC CHALLENGES and DO YOU THINK I AM UNAWARE THAT ALL PEOPLE BORN AFTER 1985 ARE BROKE or IN DEBT PAST THEIR EYEBALLS. Keith waving off any comments I made did not impact my digestion, fortunately. He wasn’t interested in my insight and thinks he can wander up and tinker. (He’s already friends with one of the church elders because of his work with Philosopher’s Café.) I put 15 years in. eyeroll. I managed to get his attention with my review of Black Adam, so I guess I misspoke when I said I didn’t get a word in edgewise.

Spoke on the phone with Sue Sparlin who will be 80 in January and is a credentialled TV actor excuse me and it was a lovely chat. I also spoke twice briefly with Peggy but she was on a call for the first call and I was out the door for the second call so I’ll try to arrange something today.

Read a Dowker poem to my mOm yesterday or a fraction thereof. It’s bad, (the urge to do that, not the poem) I shouldn’t have; best bet is to loan her the book so she can read and absorb without having to run it through a phone call. It was so good to hear her voice.

Today, laundry, dishes and hopefully I get some writing and practicing in before I leave the house to go hang with Suzanne (caring for Ryker) and the gang.

COLD SCHNITZEL FOR BREAKFAST is AWESOME.

 

How I see Katie

Unbearably cute internet humour:

In this life, I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

~  Author Unknown  ~

Not up to it

So Rob was here yesterday to pick up his hat, and I was so exhausted after Alex (yes I need to work on my stamina lol) that I had to kick him out after half an hour. I know that wasn’t neighbourly of me. I also lowered the boom on him showing up without calling first… twice, and then he said NEW PHONE I DON’T HAVE NUMBERS and I’m like …. THIS IS WHY I HAVE MY PHONE NUMBERS WRITTEN DOWN IN INK FORM. I will accept no notice contacts from people I consider family but he’s a family friend not family.

Katie got a new phone yesterday as well. It was so wonderful seeing her. She’s 34 today, can you believe it. Sunch a bunch of Scorpios.

Digital StillCamera

Donald Trump is back on twitter; thanks Elon. No he’s not; he actually can’t find his password and said he wasn’t interested to cover that.

RIP Greg Bear, author of The Forge of God and Darwin’s Radio (the only two of his books I know I’ve read for sure). He was taken off life support subsequent to a stroke and died peacefully yesterday according to Wikipedia.

Wordle 519 3/6

mentally doing high kicks I GOT THE WORDLE IN THREE … no cheating.

Good morning world

Alex is here, snoozing next to me in the guest room. He doesn’t like this room because the wifi is slow.

In a minute I’ll get up and make coffee, and then he’ll wake up and we’ll go to Timmy Ho’s and afterwards call GGma.

I had a lovely phone conversation with Ruth; she and Lois are coming in early December. I gave her the info for the motel closest to the Junction; it’s literally walking distance away. I really love this part of Burnaby New West for being the right amount of density to sustain useful businesses; everything is walking distance.

I took Paul for a mall walk yesterday (it was assfreezing cold although brilliantly clear) and Paul said a couple of things that gave me a lovely sense that whatever is going on with him, he’s still Paul. He said that sky – that cold blue cloudless bowl – reminded him of Montréal in the wintertime. And when I said how much I was looking forward to seeing Ruth and Lois, he gave a beatific smile and said, “They are two of my favourite people.”

Alex today

My youngest grandson is a year old today.

I watched him emerge. He emerges into grander and more squawking life even now. (Katie was 7:2)

Suzanne, may she be blessed, provided a hilarious anecdote. Paul had just gotten up; he’s wearing a singlet and shorts and is leaning back on the sectional, snoozing (I guess he was waiting for his coffee, this would have been Tuesday morning when Suzanne got there to mind Ryker in the run up to Katie going back to work on Monday).

So, picture snoozing Paul, bare-legged.

Ryker staggers up to him and slaps his ice cold hands down on one of Paul’s naked thighs. LOL  Paul let out a yell, no one was injured.

My youngest child will be 34 in a couple of days. And I get the oldest ‘grandspawn’ today for an overnight. He’ll be coming over around or just after supper.

Absolutely no way I could have gotten the wordle today without cheating. Heavy sigh. Off to Lumosity to get my brains wrang.

 

Missions accomplished

  1. If I am accompanying Paul anywhere in future, unless we’re evac’ing from a fire, we are not taking the gd stairs. If I watch him fall down those curving steps at Royal City Square because he literally has damage to the reflex to put his hands up when he falls, not only will I be filling out forms for a year (nb this is family joke of long standing and has nothing to do with the seriousness of the event) I’ll be traumatized for the rest of my life.
  2. He looked at his blood pressure and said, “That’s not so bad,” to which my response was, “You’re teetering on the edge of a hypertensive crisis. Last November I had blood pressure like that and went to RCH.” His answer to this was to blame the coffee he drank this morning.
  3. The name for the inability to be able to recognize that you have an attested and duly diagnosed legitimate medical condition is anosognosia aka our old friend Annis O’Nose-ya and Christ alive but it’s swift becoming a walking stick among my words.
  4. Paul set himself two tasks today. When I called him to say YOU HAVE TASKS, which I am supposed to accompany you on, he blanked. But he figured it out fast enough, and I got him over here this morning before Suzanne arrived. He handed his phone over to Jeff, who did what he has long been expected to do, and fixed the problem with kind words, and then I disappeared Paul to the aforementioned mall.
  5. The store he remembered was gone. I took no offence to this at all, since it had vanished between today and the last time I was in the mall, probably a good six months ago. I mean, I’ve been into the Save-On and the Wal-Mart (the former much more than the latter) which butt onto the western end of the mall, but I don’t normally go into the mall, which is very distinguished by how, apart from the retail staff, I’m often the youngest person in view. Not to put to fine a point on it, I turned 64 this week. I felt like a mere stripling, actually.
  6. He had to poop. Took a while. Quite a while.
  7. While we were feeling sad about how nobody seemed to have what he needed, I had to poop. I was somewhat more expeditious but I fucking near ripped some plumbing out of the sink when it assaulted me. They put the DRYER AND THE FAUCET ON THE SAME THREE PRONGED CHROME OBJECT and since the ‘signage’ consisted of a teeny stamped-in logo about the size of your finger end, and which disappeared in the reflection created by direct sunlight coming into the fucking bathroom, I had no idea that I was about to stick my hand under what I thought was an automatic faucet only to get an F1 tornado blowing the remnants of someone else’s experiment in handwashing up my nose. The fact I didn’t scream blue murder should earn me a laurel in itself.
  8. Anyway, that mall is distinguished by how indistinguishable it is from other malls, and has like forty cell phone kiosks. We visited them all. We went to the Source, and Telus and Rogers and the rest of the row of cell phone kiosks, looking for an LG accessory. Please note: LG shutdown its smartphone division in 2021. Trust capitalism to orphan Paul’s tech. Finally, at a kiosk that hadn’t opened at 10 am, there was a cherubic Desi kid (he was 25, tops, short and round-faced and long-lashed and cheerful) and he said, “Come around, other side,” and found everything Paul needed (a new phone case and a new screen, which he did a skilled job of applying) and now Paul’s phone may survive a while longer. Paul was ecstatic and we got the hell out of that mall. Driving in that parking garage is one of the Stations of the Cross for New Westminster, stg (swear to god).
  9. It freaking near killed me not to go into the Purdy’s but I knew that it would be something I’d regret and I ate half a chocolate bar yesterday anyway. It was my gd birthday, I HAVE NO RAGRETS… This is a movie reference. I have never seen the movie, but I know about this image. This is the curse of thEE INTarwEBz
  10. No Ragrets Tattoo
  11. Paul almost fell down the stairs heading back to the car. I watched him in real time forget and then remember how to walk downstairs. He should not be living on the second story of a building. It’s moments like this when I understand why Katie is occasionally flashing on terrified. If you don’t live with him or interact with him it’s invisible.
  12. Paul is almost to the point of not being able to use a bank card any more. The last half dozen transactions I witnessed have been characterized by errors caused by him stabbing the keypad at random. If he hadn’t been coached by our Desi vendor it mighta got lengthy.
  13. All our missions accomplished we scarpered, I drove Paul home (we’d gotten enough WALKING going up and down the mall to POOP so I felt fine about skipping a walk outdoors).
  14. We were masked for the duration.

air quality

For whatever reason (I’m thinking a house fire and an inversion) the air quality is really crappy. We’ve had incredible ground fog for a day, one of the reasons we decided not to leave the house yesterday for my festal meal.

Today I have to run errands with Paul. I make it sound like a chore but I’m looking forward to it.

I wept, watching the Artemis launch (not live, Jeff stayed up but I didn’t). I wrote a song “When are we going back to the Moon?” and Artemis answered that question.

I had a perfect birthday. Jeff got me steak lobster veg and dessert and it was all fantastic.

A beautiful day

Paul needed driving around for an appointment yesterday, so I obliged. Went to Merven food truck which is apparently Iraqi style food – for fifteen bucks I got a falafel platter that fed me AND Paul (he was hungry and there was loads – a springy fresh Pita Factory pita, a mound of hummus, fantastic tabbouleh with grated cooked beet on top, five enormous heart shaped falafels with tangy sauce, and rice with sautéed onions on top). So we sat waiting for his blood pressure check and nomming hard. That platter fed two hungry seniors, 10/10 would eat again. Afterward I got in to see the nurse and ask about the ‘driving’ issue, so everyone’s on the same page right now. As things currently stand the doctor has advised Paul not to drive and he’s accepting that, but he’s also thinking he’s going to be able to start driving again and none of us are convinced that’s the case because not all of the tests are back and that will take a while. And in the meantime everyone is safe.

I told Paul that I’ll drive him to the US to see people but he has to cover my housing while I’m there. I can’t just fall out of the sky and land on some Seattle filker for two days when I only see for two days once a year for a con, so I’ll need somewhere to stay while he sees Janice. (She lives with Hank, who’s also a good friend of Keith’s.)

I got a bit of a walk in, in the GLORIOUS sunshine and did loads and loads of laundry, and today I am 64 years old. We’ve got an early supper scheduled.

The world is not at war, the Ukrainians killed two Poles on accident, and shit happens.

walking in Foreshore and running errands

That was my day yesterday.

Went to Paul’s place to pick him up. Suzanne was there for babysitting Ryker and doing the house – Ryker was asleep when I got there and Katie was out buying work boots – and Paul took so long to get ready I fucking near left without him. Everything is hella slow. Some days I put up with it better than others. Keith mocked me for my asking Paul to shake a leg.

Then checked with him whether he actually had insurance on the car he loaned/gave/handed to me and rather than getting mad at me he just said yes. As Keith has mentioned previously he’s had lots of time to get used to my style.

We went to Foreshore first. I tried to get the little birdies to come to the sunflowers but they were not interested. It was a pleasant walk in the warm sun and the cool breeze, not too many people, and after that we went to the library to drop off Wilful Blindness by Sam Cooper, “The Single Most Depressing Non Fiction Book I’ve Read Since King Leopold’s Ghost”. Then after that to the bank machine at the London Drugs Mall aka the forgettably named Westminster Centre, and then London Drugs itself, where I got a finger splint for Jeff’s ouchy, some dental instruments and finally a bath brush and some of that blueberry acai chocolate candy that I’m addicted to.

Then we went to the Pho Edmonds and I had my usual, the #32 (this time with extra salad and as always it was delicious, filling and a good value), and Paul had a small pho but no spring rolls this time and paid because the last time I paid for the hot and sour soup and sticky rice at Lougheed Mall which they are now trying to call “The City of Lougheed Shopping Centre” which is quite frankly the least exciting and most bloatedly non-informational thing you could call the second biggest shopping mall in Burnaby, after Metrotown, which got its moniker from a town planner in Baltimore in the 60s. OH THE EXCITEMENT OF RETAIL

Lois and Ruth are coming to see their bro in early December. They won’t be here long, sadly, but I am looking forward to seeing them SO BAD.

Today, since Jeff is now caught up on his laundry, I’m going to wash clothes, towels and rugs for a while. A long, long while. And I’m investigating going back on my schedule since my turnip tendencies are starting to irritate me.

Wordle in five this morning. I changed my starter word and that sort of foozled me for a while, but I got it without cheating, so there’s that.

3249 words on ‘special deputy’

9952 words on ‘totally boned’

And I wrote a new poem but I’m not posting it because I’m not really keen on it and I didn’t write it for a mass audience so I sent it to mOm.

 

 

The washer has arrived

It is a brand new top loader. Jeff smashed his left baby finger tip in the process of helping get it into the house; I’d provide a picture but mOm would o,O if she saw it (think of an anxious owl.)

I was supposed to hang with Paul but he never called me back.

Rob W., may the goddess adorn him, showed up with an axe and a plan, but we told him we have to wait for ‘the professionals’ who are being paid by the insurance company to get that treefall fixed, so we gabbed for a couple of hours and then I made him tea and kicked him out. He left his hat.

 

walkies

Jeff frowns, swings closed

Jeff and I went for a little walk in the gorgeous sunshine yesterday afternoon. Jeff said that he should go for a walk and I said, “I’m going to stagger up the stairs, stagger up the hill to the park and stagger back again,” and he thought I was joking; he joined me after watching me put my shoes on. This is the same park at the start of the pandemic; the logo has all washed off that hoodie but the hoodie remains.

I missed the DD celebration yesterday. I am not sad, I don’t feel sad. I am somewhat immobilized though.

Russians out of Kherson. They’re starting to put anti tank cement blocks on their side of the border, which triggered Finnish Twitter to do a most pointed and technical takedown of how insanely useless it all was. (Altho the discussion was in Finnish you can translate tweets on the fly and man the Finns were just shaking their heads, it was wonderful. There were also comments that since it WAS useless, some oligarch musta got paid for it, ten times what it’s all worth. Lovely.)

Supposedly the new washer will come in the downstairs back door around 11 am today. No movement on the tree, not that I’d expect it on Sunday.

 

by aquilegiaformosa on tumblr
guys we’re not being cringe to keep out the twitter users. we’re being cringe to keep out the ALGORITHMS, the CAPITALISTS, the INFLUENCERS. twitter users are welcome as long as they agree this site is UNMARKETABLE

In other words become ungovernable by being someone you can’t make money from…. by being cringe. You know who’s cringe ? autistic people, by virtue of the intensity of their many hobby horses.

I prefer to be ungovernable by having my own website, that nobody ever looks at, but which will be invaluable to my family after I’m dead. That’s how things work. It’s the longitudinal and continuous energy of it, not the content, necessarily.

Worked on yet another fanfic, “Special Deputy on the Run” yesterday.  I’ve poked into the file for Part II but I think I added 36 words.

The amount of shit kicking Zibethicus (my name for Elon, means muskrat) has taken on the internet is amazing. In a few short weeks he’s scorched his fortune, facing a lawsuit for over 50 billion dollars from a former investor choked that he essentially stole shares from Tesla, received the brickbats of the commentariat and been held up as a model of everything not to do in business. Every time he says so much as boo on twitter hundreds of thousands of people tell him he’s a fucking idiot; it’s glorious, but not enough to get a twitter account.

Continuing counts in the US election still trend Biden’s way. They didn’t poll people who never voted LOL__  so many pundits have tender buttskin hanging out on this that another public spirited activity on twitter these days is going through the pundits’s last two weeks of salty prognostications and retweeting it, saying things like THIS AGED LIKE MILK or DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU WILL EVER BE RIGHT ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT AS THE SPECTRUM FOR YOUR POLITICS etc etc.

It is GLORIOUS and marvellous in our eyes. The night show hosts are having a field day.

Mitch McConnell, easily one of the most corrupt and disgusting politicians in American history, is not Senate GOP Leader any more, and rumblings are someone is going to grab his 15 year old perch in the Senate. The people who are candidates in replacing him aren’t as likely to be as competent at either whipping votes or stealing anything they can reach.

We are about six episodes into Farscape. Every episode is weirder than the next. Truly bizarre show.

Virtually every pediatric ICU in the country is at double capacity. There are so many sick children that you cannot buy children’s aspirin in this country right now.

Spoke to Tammy on the phone the other day, she called. She confirmed that she’s coming at Christmas and I’m seeing her on Boxing Day.