Category: Whining

Behind the scenes

I have taken all of the songs I have written off 3 x 5 index cards and entered them into an Excel spreadsheet.  This gives me a much better idea of what the hell I’ve done and what remains to be done, and by the blessed Virgin, it’s a lot of work.  But I can sort things more easily now.

I have my T4 – actually my choice of T4’s – so my taxes may or may not get done soon.

I am thinking of taking a year off work, but it will have to be no sooner than about six months from now. Why?  To learn valuable post collapse skillz and then be able to turn around and teach them.  Also, to do a bunch of travelling and other stuff that we won’t be able to do so much in future.

The friend I was worrying about so much with respect to her divorce IS DONE!!! The decree’s been granted, hallayluya!

Jeff is still trying to get a picture of Eddie doing something very cute – nesting in his underwear.  Weird, man, cats are very weird.

I think my bank card is finally working properly. Me happy.

I am pressuring Loki to let me post his ‘Tales of Grampa’ and he has at least agreed to consider it.  He just doesn’t want to get anybody in trouble.  Including himself.  Poysenally, I think that his stories BELONG TO THE WORLD, but Loki always has had issues with that concept.  I don’t blame him, really. 

I’m going to visit Victoria soon and hope to have progeny, at least some progeny, in tow.  We shall see.

I’m thinking fish for supper, it’s been ages.

I made fun of my mother’s list of projects.  I have since talked with her about it, and it was only because IT IS SO ******** BIG that it looks like Obama’s to do list crossed with the logistics of D-Day and a royal wedding.  flargle!

One of my coworkers crept up behind me and blew on my neck last week.  I yelped, leaped about, and then poutily said  that that was the closest I’d been to sex in many long periods of time, which caused him no end of amusement.

The guy who gave me oxygen a while back says it was all stress.  Why should I have stress?

I have a big long list of all the things that are currently bugging me and I’m working my way through it.  A lot of it involves me changing a lot of behaviours, and I guess I’m all hissy because I’m still coasting on quitting smoking, and much remains to be done.

Three years ago

I was at Potlatch in Seattle, a literary con, and I had a good time.

I bought a t shirt at Potlatch that I love and wear a lot. Tom Whitmore told me about this. Hearing that out of his own mouth was the high point ….

I just deleted the middle part of this post, about three hundred words, because there’s no point being honest.  It’s just me flailing about with words to no good end….

Back to Potlatch…That was the last time I saw Ulrika.  I talk to her online but I haven’t seen her IRL since then.

Everybody around me was crying or otherwise sad and visibly upset because Octavia Butler died abruptly and they all knew her and loved her and loved her work and they were very conscious of what a loss it was to the world.

So to honor a moment I had in my life, before everything changed and broke and turned to shit – because frankly, that’s how I feel and I’m tired of pretending I feel great, even if how lousy I feel is temporary, and to honor Octavia Butler I will link to the journal entry of another writer of color, link to something about SF, cultural appropriation, and how the culture we are raised in is a pernicious lie NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE. Minor quibble – spelling.

Kitties tell Jeff: All is forgiven; come home soon!

Yup, Jeff stayed out all night last night.  That’s the way things are in this crazy cuckoo world; you introduce your brother to your friends and the next thing you know he’s staying out all night with them (okay, Mike’s got a really comfy sofa).  I have this little thing called a job so I bailed on the festivities with Mike last night (it was awesome to see Heather) around 10 pm, got home about an hour later. Festivities included mighty tasty cilantro flavoured lasagna and at least two six packs of Lion Winter Ale, and I hung upside down like a bat in one of those found on tv devices for stretching out your back (mmm!) while everybody else played Buzz (laughing their heads off – I’m hanging upside down and smiling to myself as I listen to them), and Mike made me drag out his guitar (Jeff left the room) and I played The Evening News for some recently acquired friends of his.

Poor Jeff, he finds my singing unbelievably tedious.  So do Keith and Loki – it’s just a cross I have to bear for being so relaxed and creative, that I’m continually surrounded by men who hate what I do.  Makes me look forward to the days when it won’t be like this anymore, but that will come in the fullness of time, I suspect, along with a number of other of environmental shifts that I probably will have no control over whatever.

This morning around 3 the cats both started calling and running up and down the hallway. Normally they’d be bugging Jeff.  I just rolled over and ignored them until the alarm went off at 5:45.  Then I let them out and made coffee, and now I’ve got about ten minutes to stuff the rest of my morning activities into a nice bolus of output and get the hell out the door.  “I’ve got a little project I’ve been working on.”

Stabby, stabby, stabby McStabberson

Which is what you say when rain wakes you up, and you lie listening to it and think “I’ve got a hat.”  You go back to sleep, wake up at 5:30 – and THERE IS AN INCH OF SNOW ON THE GROUND.  I knew this would happen.  I mean, I knew it would snow the week of Valentine’s day.  The increased amount of light through my bedroom window should have tipped me off.  Now to check the sfu.ca weather site.  They say there’s nothing to worry about, everything is fine.  I bet they lie like a cheap rug.  I checked the weather, and they aren’t even reporting the weather we are getting RIGHT NOW accurately.  I mean, unless you consider rain/snow mix to be accurate.  To be fair, it has both rained and snowed.  Jeff’s response when I said, “Have you seen outside?” just to watch him leap up from his computer to peer through the blind was brief and Anglo-Saxon.

The economy is tanking so hard, and it’s so much on my mind, that I woke up this morning thinking about it.  I thought, by the time this is all over we will have blamed everyone but ourselves.  Oh, better think of something cheerful.

How to make commuters happy.

How to make your own font.

How to make yourself more resistant to evil.

Something random.  But only if you like the FSM.

Yet another link to atheist quotes.

Yours truly, Robof9

You know how I’m always going on about how they are trying to kill me with how slippery the walkways are?  Here’s Robof9’s take on it.

 

To whom it may concern,

 

My colleagues and I have been astounded by the lack of care and attention applied to the walkways on campus this winter season.

 

(Allegra edit – you miserable bastards, are you trying to kill us???)

 

Each morning, I and many of my fellow employees make the trek from the Cornerstone bus loop down to Discovery Park where we work.  We can be sure that on any morning when the temperature approaches zero degrees, we will be treated to a Russian roulette of walkways, staircases, and roadways that have been variously covered in snow, slush, or black ice.

 

(Allegra edit – But why slag the Russians when lazy Canadians will do???)

 

In particular, the worst two locations have been the pathway that connects South Campus Road to the parking lot immediately uphill from the Discovery Park buildings (and coincidentally, right across the street (downhill) from the Facilities Management building!).  This gladed run is steep, and due to either soil erosion or poor design has tilted off-camber in such a way as to guarantee a painful slide into the railing just as you’re trying to turn the corner at the bottom.

 

(Allegra edit, as I have personally witnessed, and it’s no damned fun watching or sliding).

 

The staircases that connect the Discovery Park parking lot to the buildings below are also continually in a deplorable state, particularly the western stairway.  They only seem to get attention a week after the weather has rendered them more suitable for an alpine Olympic event than for safe walking passage.

 

(Allegra edit, I would have said something a little more heated than deplorable – I was thinking “A F*****G MENACE”!)

 

In the last week alone, I have ground the knee off of a brand new pair of Levis (drawing blood in the process), and wasted a medium-sized cup of Costa Rican Rocket Fuel from Renaissance Coffee.  I’ve also witnessed half a dozen good solid falls by international students heading to the FIS/MTF building.

 

(Allegra edit – and I saw three myself this morning by the little waterfall.)

 

It’s only a matter of time before someone seriously injures themselves on these walkways.  Please take action now to see that they are properly cleared on a more regular basis, before someone gets hurt!

 

Thanks very much,

Robof9

(Who didn’t sign it that way….)

Snowpocalypse? Snowmageddon? S’no-joke? Snowtastrophe?

Yeah, well I got stuck at Mike’s (big surprise) with a foot of newfallen snow (okay, maybe six inches).  I have no clean clothes, the buses are only marginally running, and the streets are full of morons.  Seeing as how the invite was to watch True Blood and drink beer, I guess that this will continue, although I’m not up for beer at this time of the morning.

Mike doesn’t think there’s going to be a big depression multi years long.  His line of thinking is that the Chinese are holding so much American paper that they will do everything they can to slow things down.  Imagine, the poor people of China get to carry me and my lifestyle a while longer….

The snow removal in the GVRD sucks.  If we get weather like this during the Olympics, we will be the laughingstock of the world. Just another thing to look forward to – it’s only a year away now.

Tom messaged me and told me I have a ride to Conflikt.  If you get this sentence phonetically instead of realizing that it’s about a Filk con, that would be a pretty funny message.  We ALL have a ride to Conflict, know what I mean?

I love Mike’s apartment.  He has a temperfoam topper on his Murphy bed (he slept in the living room like the gentleman he is) with adjustable air settings so I am slavering to get over to where he bought it from and get one for my bed… it’s SO comfy.  I slept better last night than I have in ages, although that might have something to do with the 45 minutes of body work I got last night.  This is the perfect bachelor pad -a room JUST for massage, a room just for eating, a room just for TV and a room just for sleeping, and tons of closet space.  I’ll post pics when I get home, whenever the hell that is.

THERE IS SO MUCH SNOW.

Jeff called, he’s doing snow removal right now.

58 things I learned from being a movie buff

  1. If you call in a robbery in progress, and the robbers have automatic weapons, and you hang around to watch, you will be LUCKY if you only get what’s coming to you. (44 minutes).
  2. If you are cool, your life has a banging soundtrack.  If you are not, the soundtrack of your life is your neighbour’s dog, Viagra come-ons and shills for feminine protection. (all of them)
  3. You can kill a guy with a carrot, more than once, although you’ll need a new carrot. (Shootemup)
  4. You can kill multiple guys while having sex without making the baby cry or breaking your girl’s concentration (Shootemup).
  5. Princesses are grumpy (all of them).  If she’s not grumpy she’s probably not a princess.
  6. People will do really whacked out things to get home (Wizard of Oz, Eric the Viking, ET).
  7. Horses don’t need food, guns reload themselves, nobody needs to take a dump at an awkward time and somebody’s always got a map.  (all of them)
  8. The obesity epidemic isn’t happening. (all of them)
  9. There are no atheists. Everybody’s always thanking god, seeing a priest or minister, or going to weddings, funerals and christenings. (all of them)
  10. I learned to feel sorry for people who aren’t getting money for the product placements in their kitchens. (pretty much all of them),
  11. The walls pull away so you can get a better shot. (all of them)
  12. Natalie Portman, in addition to being able to act, looks fabulous with her clothes off (Darjeeling Limited).
  13. George Lucas should goddamned well retire. (and I need to prove my point because???)
  14. The Wachowskis only had one good movie in them because they STOLE the idea for the first one.
  15. The Wilhelm scream was by Sheb Woolley, and once you know about it, you hear it all the time.
  16. Video games don’t make good movies; they are just an extreme case of product placement.
  17. There are movies that nobody has seen that everybody refers to.
  18. Remakes should all have a generic title “The beancounter, the asswipe screenplay, the washed up actor and the witless director”.
  19. Steadicam oners are da bomb.
  20. Script first, direction second, editing third, lighting fourth, actors fifth, catering sixth.
  21. Whoever’s editing action movies these days needs remedial help. (Notice how bad the fight scene editing was for Dark Knight?  It sucked hair off a mop).
  22. Vancouver City Hall is screwing up the local industry by being chuckleheads.
  23. Not a single movie has been made in the last thirty years that realistically depicted the use of firearms.
  24. Being a science fiction movie fan is a lot like Waiting for Godot.
  25. The ratings system is hopelessly fouled up, and the creeps responsible for it should be bastinadoed with licorice while listening to “It’s a Small World after All”.
  26. It chapped Spike Jones’ ass that the most money he ever made was on Inside Man.  Mind you, it’s the best American caper film in years.
  27. Acting doesn’t run in families.  Doing what your folks did for a living runs in families.
  28. Milton Berle had an enormous penis.  I actually know this because I was working in a hotel he was staying at and he kept answering the room service knock with no trousers on and a big stogie in his face.
  29. Computers are simple to break into and all operating systems are easy-peasy and graphical. (Where do I start?  The Net, the Matrix, Jurassic  Park, Untraceable, and on and bloody on….)
  30. Your phone only rings when that chunk of dialogue is complete. (All police procedurals)
  31. You always have your phone ready to hand.
  32. Bad guys have lousy teeth. (All of them).
  33. There’s a picture of Johnny Depp in an attic somewhere. (It’s not just his bone structure, folks).
  34. Not all actors are gay, but that’s the way to bet. (This is a joke…. based on repeated and increasingly truncated conversations with Jeff).
  35. Set decoration is an art form and I salute its practitioners. (I’m thinking of True Blood).
  36. Heroes drive convertibles (this is actually a family saying, but I thought I’d throw it in.)
  37. If there’s been a movie that realistically depicted aircraft in the last 100 years, I’d sure like to hear about it.
  38. Virtually every actor I admire has a serious, serious work ethic.  Screwoffs burn out or drop dead.
  39. I loathe continuity errors, and I’ve been catching them since I was ten.
  40. It’s just as hard to make a frothy comedy as a serious drama, but you don’t get praised for doing it well.
  41. The risk free life is not worth living.  I would rather have a good bunch of people give me two thirds of a good movie trying to do something unusual than the usual gang of idiots playing it safe.
  42. I wish Charles Laughton had directed more movies. (Night of the Hunter was his only one).
  43. If the people who made SF movies spent more money on the scripts I would be happier.
  44. I really don’t like horror films – even psychological ones like The Haunting – and I only watch zombie movies as a concession to my brother.  I realize my inability to stomach violence is a serious personal flaw, but there ya go.
  45. I am prepared to forgive a movie all kinds of lapses if it’s stylish.
  46. Graphic sex is not nearly as disturbing as graphic violence.
  47. Henry and June was HOT.
  48. Watching people smoke cigarettes is a drag, especially if they don’t smoke and they are faking it (Keira Knightley in Domino, William Petersen in Manhunter).
  49. When I want to watch a movie again, it’s almost always because of the nature and quality of the human relationships in it, not because it was visually stunning or had cool special effects.
  50. I really like long takes.
  51. I really like eating takes.
  52. Most of the time, the critics are wrong.  When they aren’t wrong, they’ve still missed something.
  53. Anybody can walk into your hospital room, get hold of a doctor, get hold of a nurse, and have plenty of room to stand around and chat.
  54. It’s easy to be in the same room as a corpse.
  55. Your closest relatives can die and it doesn’t completely f*ck you up for months afterwards – you just keep on working and doing whatever you were doing.
  56. Work is just an excuse to hang out with your friends (why not, works for me).
  57. Men like to kiss way more than they let on in real life.  Women- at least usually.
  58. Food happens instantly in restaurants.

Happy New Year

So Keith, Paul and I were at Jarmo and Susana’s last night, and once again performed the stannomancy.  Katie and Jeff chose the better part – to stay home, and not to drink!

NOT A SINGLE PERSON had money for 2009.

Not one.  Out of fifteen people. You may recall Dr. Filk was told that he’d get money two thirds of the way into the year and found it laughable, and then went from John’s Jukes to Earl’s at a considerable increase in rate.  But it also said there was a baby in his future so you can’t b’lieve everything the tin tells you.

My year is smooth, and expanding, for 4/5ths of it, and then there’s a hell of a twist at the end.  I’ll post pics at some point… I actually have to pull everything off my camera and stick it someplace where those interested may view them… I still haven’t posted the Louvre, and I should, but that was, candidly, one hell of a trip and I get kind of shaky when I go anywhere near those memories.

Anyway, it was a lovely, congenial crowd, and there was even a lovely dog named Kona (lab setter cross, from the coat) who was being dogsat by some of the attendees.

Snowed more.  Lots more.

; why is the rum always gone?  Between us all we killed a forty pounder, and I had two triples so I definitely helped.  I’m still hanging on the edge of a migraine so I’d better get off the computer now.

And, via an LJ buddy, Neil Gaiman’s blessing:

I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you dream dangerously and outrageously, that you make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked. And most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now) that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

Holy cow

Tony the landpeer just came over and told me to stay the hell off the back porch – the posts and the roof are buckling under the weight of the wet snow and he’s afraid I’ll get caught out there.  Now I’m wondering if I should move the bikes off the back deck but there’s no place to put them.  Also, what about the barbecue?

Urk.

snowpocalypse NOW! REDUX! … ad nauseam

Environment Canada saith:

10 to 20 cm of snow expected tonight and Wednesday.

This is a warning that significant snowfall is expected or occurring in these regions. Monitor weather conditions..Listen for updated statements.

A pacific frontal system will approach the British Columbia coast tonight bringing snow to the area. Total snowfall amounts of 10 to 20 cm are expected tonight and Wednesday. The snow will taper to flurries Wednesday night. Strong winds will also develop as the system approaches and visibility will be locally reduced in blowing snow.

Arctic air will continue to push through the coastal valleys and inlets producing very strong northeasterly winds giving wind chill values below minus 20 for the inland sections of the north and central coast today.

I don’t mean to be inhospitable, but Jeff, stay the hell in Victoria an extra day!  It’s supposed to rain and snow and blow on Christmas, which means that ferry cancellations for icing and wind that day are possible, maybe even likely.  I will take good care of kitties. 

And until the weather resolves out to rain, I am not coming to Victoria; to be clear, unless it’s raining Thursday morning I’m staying hunkered down in Vancouver. I may come Sat/Sun instead of Fri/Sat, and I may or may not bring Katie.

Everybody, as one!

Allegra, you are bleeding crazy!

I spent most of last evening with Dax, and then went to Suzanne’s.  I didn’t argue with him.  I didn’t give him any money.  And we worked on cover letters and talked.  I also met his dad.

Why the **** would I do that?  Well, I have a number of reasons.  First, I wanted to be very clear with him what my rationale is for going anywhere near him after all the horrible stuff that happened with Katie.  I want him to be working, not in jail.  If he’s working, he can pay rent, help his family, think about getting some money together for school, and have something resembling a life. If he’s in jail, not so much.  Second, I am wanting to shed my reputation as an evil cow; I got to hear some of the stuff Dax said about me second hand, and I kinda want to prove it’s not really true.  One can say, “But if he’s in jail he can’t hurt Katie!” but I would really prefer he was paying taxes.  Third, it’s really hard for me to model forgiveness and getting on with your life if I refuse to do it because it’s hard.  Humans is apes.  It’s easier for the ape to do what it has seen being done.

Tammy said that the biggest difference between poor people and rich people is that poor people don’t get a lot of training or practice in deferring gratification.  There is no next year; there is no tomorrow.

Except, unfortunately, there is.

Five layers (what, like an onion? A really good chocolate cake?)

There’s stuff I don’t talk about with anyone. Some of it is festering; some of it is just the froth and bubble inherent in having a brain; some of it is me stolidly processing events and patterns.  Some is preverbal.  Most isn’t – I try to put everything in words.

There’s stuff that only the people it happened in front of know.  It never gets written down.  It’s ‘Hopi art’ or a coloured sand mandala.

There’s stuff that only goes in a little hardback diary; I make an entry maybe once a month – more often when my love life, such as it mostly isn’t, gets more interesting.  I try to make it as much like Mary Astor’s diary as possible, you know, breathless and candid and o so girly…. although I have no George S Kaufman.  (Darn! he was quite the, uh, provider of exclusive, quality adult entertainment, or so Mary’s diary recounted).

There’s stuff I put in the locked on-line diary at livejournal, mostly stuff that’s bad and I want to remember the date it happened later.  Almost all of my entries are friends only.

Then, there’s this stuff.  There’s an inherent bias towards good news, because, after all, my mom reads this. There’s also a bias to not whine, although I do.  So consider this a virtual whine, because, by golly, I really feel like bitching right now, and what prevents me from doing it is knowing that in a week I’ll have completely forgotten what I was cheesed off about. That has been the overwhelming takeaway for me as a result of keeping an online diary for four years (yup, I started in April 2004 but lost everything prior to August of that year).  As bad as things may be, whining doesn’t help. Good news longs to be shared, and urges to whine should be entertained at a halberd’s distance. I consider whining and recounting ugly facts to be two separate things; it’s the absence of adjectives that denotes serious efforts not to whine. Also, I swear more when I’m whining.  Or ranting, which is whining spun into entertainment, at least as I care to practice it.

I light a candle for folks dealing with allergies; for the lonely; for the sick; for the hopelessly confused and socially awkward.  I light a candle for the unemployed who wish to work.

PS.  The World Series is actually very good baseball.  I was enjoying it immensely when I watched it last night.  It was the first time I actually got an idea of how a superb pitcher plays with the strike zone to mess with batters’ heads.

A special shout out to Mike McG, who opened a phone conversation with, “Hey, wordsmith!” and made my world a better place thereby.

A special shout out to Marc, who answered my email about visiting headquarters in France with a brief and charming email.  The upshot is I am welcome, but nobody is exactly sure WHERE to roll out the welcome mat, as apparently they are moving!  I would post notes about the integration but it might limit my future employment opportunities.