Live at GAFilk – Dishing with Joyce


You think I haven’t got a clue
I’m telling you it’s no small task
to be the Slayer’s single mom
well how hard can it be
I’m glad you asked
She’s constantly in trouble
and spoiling for a fight
but if my girl’s out kicking demon ass
I guess the world will be all right

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again!’

I’ve been assaulted and enchanted
I take hellmouth stuff in stride
and you may think that I’m demented
but parenting’s a way more scary ride
I want her to be happy
I want her to be good
But here in Sunnydale we’re just not living
in that kind of neighborhood

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again!’

It wasn’t all disastrous, there were moments I quite like
I get all misty-eyed about the time I clobbered Spike

Well every season brings a change
the scoobies fight a new ‘big bad’
and rabid fans won’t think it’s strange
if you won’t watch ‘the body’ ’cause it’s sad
(aside Legit the saddest episode in tv history up until that point)
It’s all about the teamwork
it’s all about fair play
so I’d appreciate if you’d not talk about
my fling with Giles today

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again! I just saved
the whole damned shiny Whedonverse again”

spoken That’s my girl


Fucking mandolin would not stay in tune because I took Blind Lemming’s advice and loosed the strings before travel (i love the hoomin and I’d take a bullet for him but I’m still pissed about that) and then THE FUCKING BRIDGE MOVED and I couldn’t get it set properly and I then made my handler drive all over Atlanta in the rain finding me new strings and Christ it was stressful. If I don’t sound stressed that’s a miracle. Sorry about the tag into the next song on the end, I can’t be arsed to fix it.

It’s just so Nice When Someone Knows your Name / single verse

Technically this is a Brooke Abbey song, but I messed with it two ways; I added a verse, which you can hear, here, and I made it PSYCHOBILLY, so it’s keyed differently and about 40 beats a minute faster. So I don’t feel bad about extracting a single verse from my live performance at GAFilk (which alas Brooke was not able to attend because the poor hoomin was migraineing almost the whole weekend) and reproducing it for you. Also I asked him if I could do it.

I’d like to get caught doing something on CCTV
which then breaks to the Internet dispersing virally
I would be world famous, be global entertainment
but sadly notoriety does not come with much payment
and it’s just so nice when someone knows your name!
Your inbox it is always full but you are not EMPLOYABLE
man it’s so nice when someone knows your name!

Good morning mOm

Check out the masks that Jan made with your fabric that I sent her!!!

VERY SOGGY and abbreviated walk at Oakalla yesterday. Brought Paul back here for Ciabatta/pulled pork and tea.  The snow was all slush. No otters. Towhees though.

Paul wanted to make sure that you knew mOm, that we were walking out of the park, and talking about you, and just as we did so a pterodactyl (Dryocopus pileatus) called to my right, and its mate called from the other side of the woods, to Paul’s left. We both burst out laughing at the idea that you and p0p got represented for our walk… and as I say, Paul was adamant that I advise you.

Coming up to a romantic and emotional writing session but I’ve been working on it for about a week now in the background (thinkita thinkita). I am trying to write it without using ‘love’ or ownership words which is going to be brutally hard, but I hope to manage.

Radam Ridwan’s message on instagram this morning about beach bodies and fatphobia GIVETH ME LIFE. I love them so.

Learned this morning that a NYC police officer assaulted one of the Capitol police on Jan 6. You know that what we’re looking at is a civil war; it hasn’t been declared, but there are 500K in the ground already.

This starfish, snapped by @figureoutthesea on Insta, appears to be saying ‘fuck you!’ to the juvenile glaucous winged gull.

Shopping song (a love song to Toronto in the 80s)

It’s autumn in the city and I am scuffling
sitting across from the everything store

(Holt Renfrew on Bloor

I love to watch the people going in
I love to watch them coming out so much more
I ask them did you find what you want
do they stock in your size
did you find you have eyes bigger than your wallet
did they serve you in style?
did the waitperson smile
it’s a fix, now, no matter what you call it

I saw 60 dollar silk blouses in the garment
700 dollar virgin wool suits uptown
it’s this always always wanting and never having
and not deserving
especially the not deserving that’s getting me down
I tell myself Will you never grow up?
Don’t you know good things aren’t cheap?
all the fine things in life always have their price tag
but it’s wearing me out
I want to strip off my self doubt
and go out
and buy some brand new nice rags

After window shopping it’s back to my rooftop,
my skyline
the pulse of the waves, the insomniac geese
Like a jewel box broken and spilled open sideways
it lies there
from the highway to the towers that lie in the east
I cry
will you always be there
will you never fall down
why do I see you best coming up for night time
There’s no cash in my coat
and the wind’s at my throat
but it’s dusk
and I’m in the right place at the right time

not much to report

Bih-bah project continues. Advent calendar of Christmas carol parodies continues (the time to work on Christmas stuff is February – I will post them during Advent this year, and some of them are quite funny, so I hope you enjoy them – I did We Three Kings and I saw Three Ships this morning.) I have written about 350 words on Best Roommate since last report. I am working on a song with no name, but it’s about Vancouver, and the land ack is built into it, so I’m happy with it, also it’s on the ukelele and I hadn’t composed anything on the uke in ages, so that was good. I’m particularly liking the accompaniment, it’s not exactly unique but it’s distinctive.
I am possibly working on some more kidney grit, so no black tea for me for a while, and I should probbly lay off the almonds, but that frenz is la super hard to do when your buddy heaves two kilos of organic Australian almonds (plump, unblemished, like a lifestyle ad) onto your front steps thank you TOM!
KAOSSILATOR NOTES GAte 49, S61, 90 bpm, turn the volume up all the way, 5ths, C_; hold left thumb in bottom left corner until the gate arpeggiator drops tick tick tick percussion like noises into the mix and then slide your right index finger slowly back and forth along the bottom. Occasionally deke upwards for an other worldly yipping noise. At the end let go for the fade. Gives a very atmospheric creeping through a darkened building/alley/tunnel feel.

Waiting for a CT scan to find out if I really do have brain damage and how bad it is…. YUMMY. Not recommended.

“G-d made me trans for the same reason he made grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. So that man may participate in the act of creation” -some wise Jewish trans person whose name I don’t remember – @zfreinstatler on twitter this morning

a filker’s life for me

Early one morn on a unicorn well I launched a rocket ship
and I wore my silks and tie dyes and gave mundane life the slip
And it cost me more than I could afford but I had to take the trip
and I have myself to thank that I’m a filker
For we sing the sweetest music and we laugh the loudest laughs
The robots sell their spares to hear, the wizards pawn their staffs
the circle calls in the function halls for a chorus fine and free
You can keep your wretched autotune it’s a filkers life for me!

Survey – animals

What is your favourite:

Wild Mammal

Domestic animal







Literary beast?






my answers:

Snow Leopard or Pink fairy armadillo tied for this one


Galapagos tortoise

Spring Peeper

Sasquatch and Nessie tied for this one

Tomentose Burying Beetle

Phidippus johnsoni

I am rather fond of dimetrodons