Settler words&music in S'ólh Téméxw, (leanpub.com/upsun) living where privilege meets precarity in MST country. she/her/they———– Novels: Midnite Moving Co., Upsun; Sweep Off Those Waves coming soon, Hair Sinister after that. —Restore All Indigenous Lands!
First, someone has a great eye and an even better sense of humour:
second, the story is now 3400 words long and I know how I’m going to end it
third I have a very reasonable roommate and while I can’t supply any specifics (but mOm already knows the details) (it involves a rug, and extra laundry) I must insist that really Jeff is a very reasonable fellow and I’m fortunate.
I’m doing lots of research for the story. I like learning new things.
Ryker was with his pop. It was just a lovely time. Suzanne came late but she was having A DAY so no problem.
Total 2721 words… sent the first lot off to mOm who I think is quite pleased that I’m writing mystery romance without leaning on the TV characters quite so hard. Omar is a nice guy with a terrible step family and ‘Brad’ or whatever the hell his name is, is kind of a piece of work. I have to story logic my way through the first porny bit (now kisssss lol) and that’s going to take at least another 1000, mebbe 1500 words. We’ll see if I’m this productive tomorrow.
Now to finish off my Big Star Sammy.
Chickadees buzzing us I think I was supposed to have sunflower seeds.
After, quick poke of nose into Cobb’s for MORE TREATS it’s just treats all the way down.
Fixing an email problem, got version 3 of the meet on the beach story to mOm.
Mailed some of Alex’s “Among Us” art to the grands just now.
Now I’m going to eat a croissant, see if I don’t.
I think I understand why those little girls were gawking at him. Usually you see babies in formal settings and you don’t get to see all of their little bodies except for a negligible reusable pool diaper (they go in the wash). So they were gawking because they normally didn’t get close to babies this close to being naked, and so tiny, and so obviously having a good time even though he was tiny (he’s seventeen pounds, you know — the size of a fat cat) and he’s just so robust and engaged now, it’s just remarkable how he looks at everything.
I get the really distinct feeling that he has a much better memory for faces than most babies his age. Did I rave like this about Alex? I was so worried about him for the first little while, and a little put out but not enough to be an asshole about how long it took for him to warm up to me. Ryker is definitely enlarging and augmenting my grandmotherly experiences, and Alex is every day a new kind of entertaining thought process or turn of phrase.
mOm I hope you understand that when Ryker sees you he will already know that you’re his relative. If he’s old enough to know from words that’s one thing but if he saw you now I think he’d recognize your bones and return your smile.
200 hits 16 kudos on the story I posted yesterday. Absolutely terrible ratio, and it was a good story, nice and long. Fuck the world sez I.
and I’m putting the rest of my vile and hateful whining and the good stuff too behind a cut
Continue reading You think everything is fine tw family trouble
Paul’s kitty Ayesha is sick unto death and probably won’t make it (her kidneys have failed). I am sad for Paul. I haven’t spoken to him yet, Suzanne my co-grandma told me about it. It’ll be four years two days from now that Margot passed. sad faced primate.
I spoke today with someone whose near relatives are in Romania, and they have their bags packed pending such time as Putin drops the big one. I have this jejune childish urge to become hysterically patriotic and speechify. Instead I set it aside for things I can do that either enlarge someone else’s capacity to do good or enlarge my own. The stoics have asked me to have a care for that which I can control, and so I will try to be kind to other people and kind to myself. The nurse reminded me to be kind to myself; my blood pressure, amazingly, is way down.
It’s terrible. The Russians are being indiscriminate with the bombings, but so are the Saudis and the Americans right now. The hypocrisy is thick as jam, and as sticky.
I think the next stage in my psychosocial development with respect to politics is to really examine how I am untrue both to my grandfather’s approach to other human beings, which should, since he was gentle and helpful, be a guide to me, and to my sparse and weedy ethics, infested as they are with my own version(s) of gender essentialism, ableism and libertarianism, not necessarily in that order on any particular day, and I’m sure in almost 20 years of doing this I’ve revealed enough of my other bigotries to hang myself twice, were such things possible.
I mean if I’m going to bust it back to first principles. Is it a material universe – the commonality of detectible ‘reality’ – or is it an imagined and engineered projection, taking place in real-time, or is it a natural phenomenon which one can interrogate without ever knowing the full truth of, or is it God’s Creation, or (all the Creation gods’ names)’s Creation or something else entirely? I mean, I know which way I play it, every time, but is it a material universe? Should it make a difference? Should I be ashamed that the best argument I’ve seen for it NOT making a difference was from Buddy, in Free Guy? Anyway, can’t have a philosophy without taking that one one.
Sorry about the late post, I had yet another disturbed night of sleep and when I went back to sleep I slept late, it’s now almost 10 am.
2249 words on story thus far. I think I’ll try and go back to finishing the landslide one.
Yesterday was wonderful.
We went to breakfast at IHOP (it was deserted), came back here for some TV. Paul called and we went for a walk in Fraser Foreshore (I masked, he didn’t, I drove) and I took my camera, secure in the knowledge and belief that I WOULD GET PICS for my mOm, and I sat in the appointed place at close to the regular hour, and Paul and I couldn’t even hear the tweety birds, let alone see them.
Much abashed, I trudged back to the car, grousing in a desultory way at Paul, and then I saw one of the other unofficial feeding stations and put down a handful of non salted raw Styrian sunflowers and next thing I know, there’s a chickadee in the bush on the other side of the trail making the excited food song, which is the same as their regular song but buzzier, louder and with an extra DEE in there. I had put away the camera.
So I got my disney princess moment, but didn’t get a picture. BIRDS YOU ARE ANNOYING. But cute.
CW Picture of Tom Lunderville; Paul and I went to Peggy’s after that, to pick up the hat that I gave Tom after wearing it for a while. Now I’m getting it back again. He ruint the crown but I’ll reblock it. We got tea and soup. We chatted for a long time. She’s in relatively good shape all things considered and coping as best she can with how different her life is now. We talked about Ukraine a bit.
We left to go pick up my library book from the main branch of New West Library (‘this is how you lose the time war’) and then came back to Geekhaus to eat – soup Peggy gave us and borscht and lentil soup. I also showed Paul some of the stuff online that I’ve been telling him about Ukraine.
Then I ran a couple of loads of laundry and napped and cleaned out the microwave. It was a lovely sunny day, and I’m glad I wrote about it, because I was happy yesterday and I needed a reminder.
I am continuing to feel much more chipper. It wasn’t a super productive day, but I walked (really walked, not ambled) and got some social contact and the sun was a benison.
There’s a new game, Semantle. IT’S INSANE MAKING. Wordle is fun and brief and lively, but Semantle makes you understand you don’t understand English at all, and given that it is, “My bag, my thing, my evil specialty” it’s … Okay, here’s the link. Just don’t ever play the game, you will die of frustration. (suitably vexed voice, with shaken fists: CURSE YOU VIXY) —LATER LATER MUCH LATER I’m up to 3hundred and freakn 80 guesses on Semantle, I feel like me brains are leaking out my ears.
It’s supposed to be ass freezing cold tonight until Wednesday. I am not worried; I’ll have the warmth of VISITORS tonight yes that’s right Mike was supposed to come over for ‘za last night but he drank too much with sifu (sifu is master in Chinese martial arts) and couldn’t manage it, so he’s coming over tonight.
Buster heals and complains about the door being locked.
Yesterday I ordered the bamboo charcoal smell-killers that have worked so well for us. (really helps with the damp smell in the downstairs john). Why? As mentioned Mike got a right hand drive Delica (which I rode in for the first time when we went saunaing and dining with Jarmo and Susanna) and it’s unfortunately a Japanese vehicle which means it’s been smoked in. So I’ll give him three of those bamboo charcoal smell killers and that will keep the noxious effluvium down to a dull roar, hopefully. I ordered it from Rona and with the exchange and free shipping it’s about the same as if I ordered it from the US, so that worked.
Absolutely delightful walk in the park at Fraser Foreshore yesterday with Paul. I fed the chickadees from my hands for about ten minutes with Paul watching, most entertained; with what delicacy and firmness did they grasp my index finger as they rested a flashing moment to grab a sunflower seed. The sun was just blasting down and there was no wind, so we sat in the sun and basked for many long minutes in companionable silence. Everyone on the trail (except for those two fuckwits on mountain bikes who came through with a gopro and attitude and 90 dB of shitty club music at about 25 kph without a bell or shout) was practically giddy with joy at the warmth and sun, and even though it was the Sunday of a long holiday weekend (it’s ‘Family Day’ in BC) the trails weren’t too crowded. I masked, Paul didn’t.
Then we went back to KC Junction and I ate Keith’s leftovers, a superlative yellow lentil stew with heaps of veg and subtle, lightly heated spicing, and then we ate my choc rice pudding for dessert. (Keith enjoyed it with thanks.) Paul was much more interested in the borscht I brought (he really likes my borscht) and I realized why when I saw the sour cream container. But I can’t eat borscht two days running because anything with oxalic acid makes my kidney output scratchy so I ate lentils instead.
Keith’s loving his job… just loving it. He says it’s only a week and you can’t know for sure, and the pay is not great, but it’s work he can stand and he’s visibly in much better shape than even two weeks ago.
Katie was out with Ryker & Alex and some friends so I didn’t get to see her.
The Russians are claiming that the Ukrainians are ‘reacquiring nuclear weapons’ and I’m like wow, we can’t trust a fucking word you say now, can we.
Worst showing ever in terms of ratings for the Olympics. Why NBC keeps this boat anchor tied to its ass I have no idea. What if they held an Olympics and nobody wanted to broadcast it? That would be choice.
Twitter antifa (canuck division) is rooting around in rural Ontario to find the names of the people who are hiding the convoyancers. So far some son of a sea cook in Embrun who’s the best friend of the mayor there is one of them. LOL they can hide but six months from now the knock will come. Remember they’re still knocking on doors from the Jan 6 rebellion in the US, it’s not like the cops work faster in Canuckistan.
I’m an abolitionist; if they could all be referred to restorative justice and be filling planters and picking up garbage in Centretown for the next two years instead of paying fines and going to jail I WOULD BE HAPPY. Especially if they had to wear a PLEASE DON’T FEED THE HONKIES sign around their necks while they were doing it, but that’s not nice, I know it.
I don’t know if I mentioned it, but if they reboot Futurama without the voice acting talents of John DiMaggio I won’t watch it, even out of whatever is left of my curiosity.
Side note to mOm. The Metformin did it again this morning, fortunately I know how this goes and I had plans in place and managed to deal with it all promptly. What a life.
So I picked up mando and guitar strings yesterday, which is good, because when I play “Gelis and Niccolo” I am pulverizing my guitar strings, which start to blister and unwind and go dead. So I shall take the guitar tool which the esteemed M. Mike provided and change my guitar strings with speed and ease. Also Otto’s strings because he sounds deader than Beethoven right now.
I actually picked up the ukelele yesterday and played for a while!
Buster is PISSSSSED that he can’t go outside. Then he cries like a sad kitten, it’s heartwrenching. But he’s still covered in scabs from his last failure to carry the field, and he cost Daddy somewhat with this last ear ding, so we are being brutal and keeping him in. We may break out the catnip just to keep him vivified.
After some very disturbed sleep and a lot of napping I seem to be back diurnal, sleeping until four in the morning YAY. I don’t like it when Jeff and I are out of sync, even when he’s working it’s like we don’t talk for a day and all of a sudden we’re eating supper in front of Elementary….
The kitchen is a nightmare but I can’t find the energy to clean it. (actually I just emptied the dishwasher and threw out the cruft, but that doesn’t make a visible dent lol)
Fed Paul and Jeff pulled pork sammies on brown buns, smashed taters and green beans for lunch yesterday. Paul and I went for a brief walk and toured around and got veggies and went to the guitar shop. I drove. Although I have not spoken to Keith, Paul reports that he’s loving his new job. This heartens me; his recent previous brief foray into employment left him quite disgusted with the state of employers, like that is hard these days.
Arrests have commenced in Ottawa; when the aptly named Lich was arrested and went on social media to complain about how the jig was up I really enjoyed that.
Duly noted here is the dubious morality under which I may be said to enjoy the arrest of the people who’ve been making Centertown unliveable for three fucking weeks (as of today), when I have repeatedly (in this venue and others) stated that I am an abolitionist, and wish for the amelioration and end of incarcerated punishment, except where no acceptable community alternative is possible. I am still the child my parents raised and I enforce the carceral state in my life and my mind and with my words and actions, but I am trying very hard to turn from such darkness.
I would like to state here that at all times during the last 3 weeks the cops in Ottawa have had ALL THE LEGAL DEVICES THEY NEED TO CLEAR THE STREETS and they didn’t because AND YOU KNOW WHY, DON’T YOU, MR. JONES. Anyway there’s something called a riot act. The activities downtown WERE and ARE a riot. FUCK THE GUY ON REDDIT WHO SAID IT DIDN’T MEET THE CRITERIA, HE WAS A FOOL AND WRONG ANYWAY.
Not only is this political cartoon one of the weirdest and creepiest I’ve ever seen, it would get me pushed out a window in Russia and disappeared for three months of reeducation and weight loss in China, possibly longer than that. @listen_to_me is the source on twitter; it’s a cyrillic alphabet account I accessed through following @alexey__kovalev, an absolutely hilarious giant-testicled Russian journalist who keeps running afoul of Putin and his slavering minions.
Said the mammogram technician. Anyway, I have booked one for May, and it’s relatively local, so all is good.
Yesterday I did two loads of laundry, and thanks to Suzanne the bathrooms are shiny again. She’s settling into her new apartment at Kingsway and Gilley (SOOOO CLOSE) and is probably going to get Alex for an overnight soon, when her apartment’s all shoved back into corners. Katie helped her assemble all her computer-y stuff like a boss.
Slept FANTASTIC. Went to sleep just after 8, woke up around 4. I may not nap tidday, boys!!!
Jeff bought me a burger and shake from Wet Spot, and it was fantastic.
I am very close to being finished writing Mary’s letter but I think it should be at least another couple of pages longer.
No kudos this morning… what a sap I am. One must be motivated from the inside.
Recent uproars on the internet:
person 1 – I ain’t taking my shoes off in your skanky ass house cause your floors are heinous and I don’t give a shit about your cultural constructs appears magically on line. THERE ARE OPINIONS
(this is all part of the editors in NA on line venues looking for ways to shit on Asian people during the Olympics, how rude)
person 2 – I ain’t putting up with your skanky ass shoes in my house because you fucking people walk through broken glass and dogshit and then march all over my new laminate floors and you laugh when I point out the scratches
person 3 – (allegra) I brought orthotic slippers to help me keep my feet warm and keep my balance, if you prevent me from wearing my indoor slippers you’re an ableist fuck and I ain’t enterin’ your skanky ass house (I didn’t actually say this, I never found a venue, so here it is on my own site) and if your floors actually are dirty I won’t fucking care but if there is a shrine in the house of course I’ll take my fucking slippers off do you think I’m a clod, deaf to the songs of the gods?
Got a comment hijacked by a comment bot on Reddit this morning. Didn’t even notice until someone picked it out of the crap pile for me. It’s one of the funniest lines I ever wrote so of course some witless algorithm steals it.
Jeff and I are continuing to enjoy Peacemaker (it is rude, it is funny, it is freaky, it is scary) and Leverage (well written, clips along, very very formulaic and light hearted, which compared to the grimdark we watch most of the rest of the time is GOOD).
Have some Ice from Iceland to go along with today’s fog. It was 5 degrees and rain blowing horizontal, if you wonder why it’s so dull, almost four years ago, May 2018.
(much in little)
Wordle got bought by the NY Times, so I’m not doing it anymore.
Still no letter for Auntie Mary. She’s owed one since October but I’m a bum.
Still processing the four of us getting together on Sunday. It was a lot of feels and it felt almost like group therapy, or more accurately, like the group meditations that we used to do through Beacon. I feel seen, and I listened with intent. I’ve said many times how amazing Jarmo is (he just is, okay, trust me) but Susanna is absolutely amazing and so kind, given her trials.
Thandiwe Newton reported as referring to Sean Penn as a jibbering fool made my morning (he was decrying the ‘feminization of men’ poor sod). Sean Penn being a freehold scumbag is pretty much a given but her shade was a touch of perfection.
Rehearsed a tiny bit yesterday. Music has pretty much died inside me. I’m listening to music on line, but there’s no music inside me, and I read incoming emails about on line filking with no emotion at all and just delete them.
Pandemic brain is real. Jeff and I went out for food pickup yesterday and WE HAVE NEVER SEEN IN 35 MINUTES OF DRIVING SUCH AN ASSORTMENT OF CLUELESS AND ACTIVELY FUCKED UP DRIVERS. Broad flipping daylight, zero problems with traction and visibility, and drivers were all the words you use when you don’t want to say they’re mentally ill, chemically altered or just dgaf.
Straight outta Compton ruined by white people
Above noted is a song by the Greek band Villagers of Ioannina City, a shoegaze/indie/folk band. The lyrics are a dreamy love song to ‘my partridge eyed one’.
I got to help a girlfriend, hang with my daughter, make faces at my grandson and get out of the house. I also got to see that cool house in Surrey Suzanne was living at. THE VIEW OF THE NORTH SHORE MOUNTAINS AS THE FOG MELTED AWAY oh my heart. Apparently Keith is going to help Suzanne with her move.
It wasn’t four hours but we did get shit done and she’s got other helpers coming.
By posting this pic on my blog I’m ensuring I’ll be first against the wall when the Chinese walk whistling into Vancouver…. it’s the SS Olympic Bloodbath.
Just said in a reddit comment I HOPE YOUR CLIENT SUES YOUR ASS CLEAN OFF YOUR BODY. lol
My UK fan worked her way through another two stories last night. The consistency is really getting to me.
Suzanne is moving to the the neighbourhood and I volunteered to help. I know I have zero stamina so she’s getting four hours and then I’m cutting out. Katie’s with Ryker and about to come pick me up. I shall report back in due course.
Yesterday, Keith came over and cooked us lunch, (essentially a super fancy grilled cheese, fresh mozza on a crunchy ciabatta bun) and it was delightful. He mentioned among other things that he’d gone to visit Peggy. Then Mike came over and watched TV and consumed food (fish and chips from Cockney Kings) and I got to look at his Mitsubishi Japan steering Delica. That will be an amazing vehicle for the zombie apocalypse. So I … did not do any cooking yesterday, see this smile? Goes for miles. And I drank ONE 3% beer. Jeff asked me what the other 97% was.
Since I’m feeling well rested perhaps I should work on some projects.
SO GOOD to see Mike recovered from his plague.
Keith is coming over to feed me and Jeff lunch,THE NEXT 150 WORDS DELETED. I’m really looking forward to it, whatever he produces!
Later, Mike’s dropping by and we’re going to go for a car ride in his new used Japanese work truck. I am thinking about making up a snack to take with us. I am very interested in where we might go. I’m thinking we’ll end up sort of all the way up in Squamish or all the way down in Steveston and either way I LOVES ME A CAR RIDE and I’m looking forward to it. Mike’s lived in Vancouver his whole life and he really knows this place well. I always see corners of the city previously unknown to me.
He says he did have COVID but he’s two weeks past symptoms so we should be okay. Poor guy was sick as a dog, but not enough to come to the attention of the health-care system.
I’m finally writing letters again, starting with Auntie Mary.
It would be amazing if Mike and Keith actually SAW each other.
