Category: Health

yesterday in bed

Up at 3, back in bed at 8, up at noon, back down for another 4 hours, up at 6:30, back down at 9. What a day.

I don’t know why, but I wuz bagged. I think it’s possible it was some kind of migraine; I got physical symptoms yesterday that were ghastly. Then at 9 when I went back to bed I lay in bed writhing for an hour because I thought I was having a heart attack. It was completely psychological, and really horrible. (Real heart attacks don’t go away *every time you sit up to go fetch your brother to go to the hospital*).

I did a lot of breathing and shifting my position to get comfy, and finally slept.

Now I’m going to get up, make tea and get a freaking grip on myself.

A beautiful blue, white and gold sunset
Sunset off the deck last night

equilibrium

The president of Belarus shut off the internet in his country to prevent the spread of a viral video in which a large audience of workers started shouting at him to resign. (apparently he said the only way you’re getting rid of me is killing me and he got the response he oh so richly warranted.) The tankies are sad for him. What is a tankie? It’s a fascist who wants statist communists with brutal regimes to be perfect and powerful. They defend governments like North Korea. No, I’m not joking, I wish I was.

I have re-achieved emotional equilibrium. I wrote another 700 words after I finished the last edit to my blog yesterday. Jeff took me to breakfast. I wear a mask at IHOP whenever I’m not at my own table. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s better than nothing. My current fave mask is the one I got from Vancouver Aquarium. Next fave is the first one I made, the white one. It’s very comfortable and the most adjustable. Next fave is a standard medical mask. I ordered a bunch more cloth masks from an Indigenous supplier; one of them is a brilliant blue with Coastal art hummingbirds all over it so I bet I know where that one will end up. The other ones I think have stylized orcas, I might be wrong. Kima would be pissed.

There is fresh tea. I make a couple of pots a day and transfer most of it into the iced tea container, once it’s cooled off.

Operation Pee Constantly is still going well. The last lingering wackiness amidships from the kidney stones and the mild infection afterwards is done, thank glob. I’m still getting used to exactly how MUCH more water I have to drink every day to keep this happy state of affairs going, but hopefully I will retrain my body to properly experience thirst.

I am still drinking black tea, but it’s not recommended for a kidney diet, so I’m trying to have at most two cups a day.

Katie recommended bocconcini pearls for cheese and no sodium cheese is a wonderful damned thing, let me assure you. I’m also drinking the low sodium V-8, which tastes weird, which makes me want to put Worcestershire sauce in it, which vitiates its low salt status. La la la. Change of habits continues. Jeff hasn’t minded the not buying treats regimen – we have a whole line of treats we bought pretty much every time we went out to Save-On but I’ll have to make do with home made cinnamon buns, scones and cakes, what a tragedy.

There’s a Buy-Low opening August 26 walking distance from here; they’ll have in house butcher and bakery, among other things. I know people who dislike this chain but they are distinctly cheaper than Save-On, and possibly they will deliver, so we shall see. Anyway it’s close enough to walk. It will be interesting to see where to park for this critter and which roadway one exits from.

Glucose tolerance test on Friday. This will be the fourth time in my life I’ve taken it. This time it’s likely that the DIABEETUS DONE GOT ME although of course I can always adjust my diet (not really, but).

Used the word vitiate in a tweet today. Thought I was using it correctly, looked it up anyway, I was.

mood crashed again

after a couple of days of feeling better I’m feeling iffy again. I think I’ll force myself out of the house to go to a farmer’s market up at Brentwood this morning. Jeff hasn’t shown any interest in going, so I’ll suit up and take the bus, since it’s just one hop.

The pumpkins and the two surviving sunflowers are doing well, and I did get some carrots.  Everything else in my garden sucks because you have to water things. My mOm knows about how to get things to grow but I’m forgetful and lazy and those are two things a farmer cannot be.

Five hundred words on the fanfic. Inexperienced character is being exposed to ETOH, hijinks ensue. (ETOH means al k hall)

Image Erica Henderson, Eisner-winning artist, made this

@ericafails on twitter

THE US IS A FAILED STATE

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Looking Inside Myself, 2002, carved whalebone by Susie Silook, artist of Siberian Yupik, Inupiaq descent

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Rogers, 2012, Post Gazette

Rob Rogers was fired from the Post Gazette in 2018 because all mainstream media outlets in the US are owned by right wing oligarchs

ah the good old days – open in a new tab and it should be (just barely) readable.

featured-1918-pandemic-1597264987762.jpg

Post COVID paper

Infographic about post-COVID

If you click on it, it expands to a readable size.

Katie and Mike BOTH dropped by yesterday, Mike to pick up lentil soup and drop off sous-vide chicken breasts, nom, and Katie to just lay eyes on me and tell me about her life updates, which include what appears to be a shot at being happy, so, I’m like. YEAH SURE I want you to be happy, why the fuck wouldn’t I. She’s known him since high school, it’s not like he fell out of the sky. I haven’t met him, mostly because I don’t have to during a pandemic, but Paul and Keith have.

We talked about how the world is half mad with grief, and those who show no grief show fear and anger.

No walkies with Paul.

Made more lentil soup, made more dough for cinnamon buns; the ones I made yesterday morning are, like, gonzo. I guess Jeff and I really really liked them.

Finished watching season two of the Alienist. It’s much like the first season in some ways, but they handled a trope about as tastefully as one can, and the man follows the woman to her new job rather than the other way around, so that was a nice break, and there was an extremely satisfying revenge killing, one of the best and promptest ever. You killed my brother, I ain’t giving you the CHANCE to prepare to die, I’m just going to shoot you in the back. YES.

When I was researching the show I learned that the author of the original source material had a family story that possibly affected his writing; his dad committed a murder that was embedded in scandal and served time for it. Then he had a fifty year career in newspapers. I wish I was a white guy.

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This is a Balmain dress from the 50s. Dress looks like she was hung by her heels, dipped in white chocolate and rolled in glitter-encrusted dust bunnies.

Lazy Day

While Paul was here I handed him the phone and a beer. It was delightful to see how much he enjoyed talking to mOm, and mOm has long considered him a worthy in-law.

We took two turns around the 12th Ave School circuit and sat in the shade and watched a number of people not wear masks. I wore a mask anyway, the one to support the Vancouver Aquarium, which has turned into my go to mask because it fits well and is comfy.

 

I had a couple of days, most of a week, of feeling much better, but I’m feeling very jaded and unhopeful at the moment. I despise Trump and all of his minions and supporters so much, but I guess there’re historical precedents for an entire culture of people being so convinced of their superiority that a devastating war is the only way to slow them down.

Buster trained twice yesterday with vigour. Then he flops on the floor and looks cute. Yes Jeff he got his Sunday dinner.

Saved seeds yesterday. Practiced. Watched some TV but not a lot. Watered the garden. Fed a friend. Made soup. Cleaned a few things. Finally used up that cabbage head which has been unprofitably rolling around the fridge, and made fried cabbage with onions and chunks of steak. Only added half a teaspoon of salt as seasoning, but damn it was good, and that was dinner. Also phoned Mike to tell him there’s some really good soooooop waiting for him here.

sleep sleep sleep

Got some bad news the other day and I’m still processing it, mostly by sleeping. I’ll comment publicly after I get the test results, probably a week at least. Side note to mOm, who will worry— it’s not that big a deal, I’m just easily crushed these days and once again I’ll be asked to change all of my eating habits, which I am seriously disinclined to do.

Can’t I just quietly die ? <—– what a wuss. And no, that’s just me being drama llama’s fave hanger-on.

 

Also, the fact that I’m getting this news a couple of months after I think I had COVID is really, really pissing me off. There are so many things we don’t know, but I won’t be a bit surprised if I’m not the only person this happened to, although proof will take years.

balance

I keep getting dizzy spells – and really, really weird physical symptoms, like, check this out. All the hair on my face (not my scalp, my face) stood on end and then I got a paresthesia that my face had solidified and was now melting down my skull. (Didn’t hurt, just felt indescribably WEIRD.) This was about an hour ago. If I hadn’t also had the biggest scintillating scotoma of my life fifteen minutes before that I’d think I was going mad, but it’s obviously migraine related. The scotoma started as a jigsaw dragon of panelled rainbow light, faded into a pale green smear and then parked itself over my right visual field for about a minute.

Anyway, my balance is not great as I wander around the house but it seems to be okay when I leave the house to walk around, so who knows what the hell this is, besides something unwelcome and novel and probably a sign that I’ll stroke out at some point, even though my blood pressure is not that high at the moment.

Spoke to Dave yesterday; he strongly recommended the latest Dylan album and hoo boy, Rough and Rowdy Ways was loads of fun and I genuinely liked the entire album except for the Key West song.

 

feeling better

Kidneys appear to be behaving. Tests today, finally; Jeff has very kindly offered to drive me as I’m not keen on walking.

We’re blasting through season 2 of Elementary and enjoying it tremendously.

Off to breakfast this morning with Jeff. Also have to pick up some hardware from Tom Lee today, which involves GASP  going downtown.

completely stalled on writing and editing. Still practicing every day though.

sorry about the radio silence

Basically I started drinking beer when I got there, stopped around 7 pm, started having kidney grit again around 2 am, peed into a cup at one point because I couldn’t make it from the trailer to the house, and man, continence is A WHOLE THING of beauty and you really appreciate it when you don’t have it. I woke Jeff up around 6:30 the next morning and we talked it through, whether we wanted to leave in case I got worse, ended up getting the 9 o’clock ferry, more or less, and was greeted by an exceedingly noisy Buster.

But kidney grit aside….

We had an awesome time, can’t say how much, it was balm for my soul. And Jeff is of much the same mind. Brought a PILE of guest gifts mostly to indicate how grateful I am to have access to a miniature Baumfest. Anyway why take flowers? I brought vegetation of a different kind. Also a plaque showing Percy Saltzman saying Tonight’s forecast: low standards, alcohol and poor decisions. I thought Al was about to lose his mind when he saw that. I also brought them four capshields with hardware.

Drank beer ate fishburgers and other food, listened to the waterfall – they have a WATERFALL you can hear FROM THEIR YARD listened to their incredible playlist on spotify and around ten I got to sleep in their extremely comfy trailer in the side yard. I FELL IN LOVE with that trailer, it’s incredible me-sized.

IT WAS FUNNE!

 

This little exchange on the internet may NOT GO AS PLANNED for grandpa but he’ll be dead when his grandson eulogizes him as ‘the man who really accepted my sexuality’ LOLOLOLOL

 

 

Jaw gaping, reading this.

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If you click on this to ‘open in new tab’ it’ll be big enough to read. Since it’s copyrighted material I’m not retyping it.

Wow, have a little racism with your nursing textbook. from

@lindsaaaytweets
on twitter. She says and I quote
For those asking, the name of the book is “Nursing: A Concept Based Approach to Learning” published by Pearson.
in 2017, in case you’re wondering
They’ve since apologized and removed the passage after receiving backlash, but this doesn’t change the fact that medical racism is prevalent through our society TODAY.
Keith is off to practice social distance grandsonning in Saanich this weekend and of course we’re all twittery about that but also I am so glad, because we’re all so lonesome for each other these days.
Noted human trafficker, pilot and scumbag procurer to the richest assholes on this beleagured planet, Ghislaine Maxwell, has been arrested in New Hampshire. Current betting is that she’ll be dead in days; there are literally hundreds of millionaires and billionaires than cannot afford that she live to roll on them. Like Epstein, she’s dead, and there will be two people at her funeral.
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suppose your kid does something to piss you off. Here’s a tip. Before the kid is old enough to wind you up on purpose, you’re the adult, suck it up. After the kid is old enough to wind you up on purpose, you trained them and you’re still the adult, so suck it up. This has been a message from an old sad parent

accomplished

Took Jeff out for breakfast (a treat), talked to my doc on the phone and got a requisition for blood and urine work (that’ll be Monday, I guess) and drove in rush hour traffic to the pedorthist and got underway for new orthotics.

Allegra presents with a history of custom orthotic use and requires an update. She is significantly overpronated left>right with hindfoot valgus, medial ankle shift and forefoot abduction. Custom orthotics will help realign the hindfoot and control overpronation. Supportive footwear with a stiff heel counter are recommended.

Translation: the top of of my right foot hurts like a mofo, my left ankle bulges in when I walk on the inside like it’s going to just collapse, my left great toe joint is really stressed and I should never not wear orthotics when I’m upright evar again.

I think it’s possible some more grit came down the pipe this morning.

Then I had a simply splendid night of sleep only to wake up with something moving shit around in the yard. Sadly I had to stop in the john before I went out on the deck and by the time I’d finished washing my hands whatever it was had scarpered.

I’ve donated money to Pivot in the past. Herewith, some success.

So I’m actually feeling like I pushed that peanut today.

 

up late

I’m awake because as far as I can tell, the other kidney (left) is hocking a loogie into my plans. This is more abdominal pain than the other side and of course I’m no longer sleeping soundly. I couldn’t even climb the stairs at the end of the viewing day last night, just crashed on the couch. I woke up around 11 and it’s been heavy sledding ever since.

I’m going to doze for the rest of the night when I can – this hurts a fair amount without currently feeling life threatening – and talk to Jeff about next steps in the morning.

 

l8r – pain lasted until about 5 when I got a little more sleep — it’s now 8 am and I feel gross but the pain has lifted

l8r – it’s 11 am and we just went for a 1k walk in the warm and pleasant sun. I feel bruised but micturation and ambulation are both much improved

Off to Planet Bachelor today

Going to go love on my pipples for a while, this afternoon. I will need a walk so I’m planning on walking over. (later…. not so much, I think I’m working on cystitis or a kidney stone.  Katie is going to drop by later but it’s 10 am and I’m going back to rest.) also thanks to Jeff for being supportive

Trump, trumpity trump I don’t feel sorry for him at all.

Korean pop fans, who for whatever reason have decided to throw their likes behind Black Lives Matter (k-pop is SUPA problematic about cultural appropriation re contemporary black music, but the fans are pure uwu softness) (uwu is emoji talk for ‘cute’ as in HF MY PANCREAS DONE GOT EXPLODEY), reserved a million tickets for Trump’s rally and then because even the GOP voters in Tulsa fitfully experience self-preservation instincts, only 19K showed up.

This morning the feeds are full of the names of bands that got more people into that arena – paying bums in seats – than Trump did. How freude was my schaden.

Also in my feed this morning; antifa rescused a person being pressed to the ground by a single riot policeman with one of the most sincerely launched flying kicks I’ve ever seen. Antifa one, cop sent flying.

San Diego sent TWO THOUSAND youths on skateboards down one of the main drags; full props to whoever managed to do that WHILE HOLDING A HUGE SIGN.

Spoke to Jan and Jim yesterday…. how good to hear their voices.