Crad Kilodney is back.

Crad Kilodney is one of those people you have to file in the part of the Venn Diagram where ‘literary treasure’ ‘full bore pain in the ass’ and ‘exceedingly rude bastard’ meet. Author of Lightning Struck My Dick, Pork College and World Under Anaesthesia, he used to sell his little chapbooks on the street in Toronto, where I first made his acquaintance on Yonge Street when our Saviour was still commuting by T. Rex, after he had escaped from New York City. Now he has rewritten the 38 canonical Shakespearean plays for the ‘don’t stop me from texting just cause the Royal Vic is performing’ crowd, and I’ve read portions of several of them…. Okay, you’ve been warned.

Margot made a tribble noise this morning, which is where cute meets alarming.

Physio this morning was great. I walked back, picked up some groceries, and feel much better about my recovery.

No joy on the shop sale.  I have a lot of work to do but at least I’m feeling a bit more like doing it.

Nonsense song

I can’t fly but I’ve learned to dance
I’ve got a mustelid in my pants
If I hold still maybe you can grab it
I think he’s in there after the rabbit
and if you ask how did a rabbit git
into the pants of my new outfit
I tell you I don’t make a habit
of being habitat for any passing rabbit.

There is fresh chocochunk cheesecake and I’ma make a batch of biscotti later.

And I’m not already anxious???

“Believing that we just reached the peak of our personal evolution makes us feel good,” Dr. Quoidbach said. “The ‘I wish that I knew then what I know now’ experience might give us a sense of satisfaction and meaning, whereas realizing how transient our preferences and values are might lead us to doubt every decision and generate anxiety.”

In other words, I am going to change just as much in the next ten years as I did transitioning from my 20s to my 30s.  So will my parents.  So will everybody else I know.

I don’t really feel like my preferences and values are transient though.

Thanks a pantload, science.

Anybody reading this who’s familiar with the concept of spoons… I have one left.  When I’m at the center working on things I feel all upbeat, and when I’m home, I’m not, so I guess I’m going out today.

 

Forskolin

So I’m poking around my favourite joints on the internet, and run across a Eurekalert reference to erectile dysfunction research.  Everybody knows that nitric oxide is what triggers the onset of an erection, but nobody had nailed down – sorry for the choice of words – what sustains an erection, which is the other half of working on ED.  Turns out that you need a continuous cascade of nitric oxide to keep the jolly happening, some of which happens in the penis itself.  At the very end of the article, there’s an offhand comment about how forskolin assists to keep this nitric oxide cascade flowing.

I’m thinking, Darwin’s Beard, a compound that assists with ED that’s called Forskolin?  I mean, it’s like hiding a foreskin in plain sight.  So I look up forskolin on wikipedia, and it sounds like homeopathy, it’s been offered up as a treatment for so many conditions.  But no, science.  And the molecule looks like Oh Ho Ho with a boner at both ends.  But that’s just me, I can derive amusement from almost anything.

 

 

Put those Mennonites and Quakers on the rotisserie….

…. this is what I want my mother to knit me for Christmas.   And no, she doesn’t have to, and I’ll be fine if she doesn’t.

 

Just remember folks, I wrote a song once in which I said, “And my heart’s an 88” and I WAS referring to the forward cannon on a Panzer.  So nobody should be too surprised if I get all gooey over some artillery themed slippers.

thank you mOm

You know, my mOm raised me to not really give a shit about cosmetics.  She quit wearing her one concession to patriarchal culture, lipstick, the instant she retired.  Over the course of my life I’ve probably saved fifty grand not buying them. I have powder, probably time-expired, and one jar of nail polish, in my bathroom.  I think Katie cleaned out anything else I had lying around.  I do concede that my face looks better if I prevent my eyebrows from meeting in the middle, and I do pluck the darker hairs off my chin and chest because even though I’ll never get mistaken for a man I would prefer to present as a woman.

I don’t care who consumes cosmetics, but I am upset and disgusted by people smearing fishscales and metal oxides on their faces without understanding the long term health consequences.  Makeup, unless it’s part of what you do for a living (rock star, sex trade worker, actor, television personality, model, emo kid) is a waste of money.  It doesn’t get wonderful just because a group of men decide to spend money on it.

I can haz new.used guitar

His name is Smoky, and he’s an electric-acoustic cutaway with a built in tuner, made by Seagull.  I put desperately needed new strings on him, and he sounds lovely.  Got him for approximately half price, and there’s not a mark or fretwear on him.

Also, I solved an extremely irksome problem in Finale Songwriter this morning, so now I can continue working on writing tunes down.

The office move went well.  The only thing that got lost from my desk was a trash can and one of my stalwart coworkers bagged me one.  I thought I had a shitty deal in terms of location, but the proof of the seating plan is in the actual results, and in this case I declare myself pleased, and I’m glad they put the cacklers close together, because G. and I both cackle when we laugh.  Also, who the hell’s idea was it to leave our fax number on the floor above?  GawDAMM.

Jerome dropped by yesterday, and how awesome to see him!  Shannon’s expecting again, and of course my family can never be too big.  He was describing how Braden plays with the harmonica I gave him, which of course nearly made my heart ‘splode with joy.

Time to go put some more laundry away.  I can hear Jeff blasting shit in Skyrim.  Herewith Dara Korra’ti’s lovely song, Fuck You Skyrim.

 

 

 

Wrasslin’ with Homiletics.

I will have been kicking homiletics ASS!  BOOYAH!  Boy Howdy!  Awright!  Right on! Good one! I’ll say!  Yeehaw! Yoicks! Tally-Ho!  Andale! By Your Command! Hip Hip Hooray! Good Show! Commendable!  Most Impressive! Indeed! Life, Health, Strength!  Blessed Be! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Oh, yeah, I haven’t finished it yet.  Children’s story is done and thumbs up from the irrepressable Sally and her happy making aesthetics.