Month: August 2007

One of you is lying…..or maybe not….

Why do men report more sexual partners than women?

Men report 7 sex partners.  Women report 4.  The math does not add up; somebody is lying.

Waaaal, we lie A LOT about sex in this and all cultures, so let’s follow Darwin’s trail of bread crumbs, and see if we can get to the end before the sparrows eat the evidence….

There are studies that say women lie about their number of sex partners.  A woman has DAMNED good reasons to lie about this, too;  you will have the most sex partners while you are  fertile (on the basis of the stats…), and if you want one guy’s help  (minimum) raising offspring, you have to respect his statistically likely desire not raise other guy’s offspring UNLESS HE VOLUNTEERED.

My life is so full of examples of good step-parents of both sexes that I know the primate drive to extinguish offspring which aren’t yours (we see the results of this crap every day in the headlines and shudder) isn’t hardwired, it’s just more likely to be expressed in the presence of disinhibitors like crack n alcohol.  So the headlines tell me, and the media never lie about crime, do they?

And then there are other studies, which make the numbers so out of whack, that you have to say, Sheeeit!  Tain’t just the wimmenfolk lyin like cheap Caucasian rugs. 

After a brief pause to consider these things, I must insist on dragging my personal experience into it.  I remember driving down the road (ah, the days when I had access to a car!) and hearing some CBC dude talking to some sex expert dude on a radio show, and the end result was that it was clear that Bill Clinton and most teenagers don’t think of oral sex as being sex.  So when you’re adding things up, one might want to have a reality check on what people think they are checking off, on these surveys, when they are talking about ‘sex’.  And I know that if somebody asked me, I would be squirming and saying, well, what do you MEAN by sex?  My answer to that question is possibly not what the survey boffins were thinking about.

and, and and.

I would say that there is a chance there are some same-sex encounters hiding in the male stats.  They are supposed to be talking about women, but I’m sure that’s where some of the exaggeration, possibly a statistically significant amount, is coming from.  Although there are not very many true male bisexuals (they exist, I’ve seen them) because most of the guys who are ‘bi’ are queer and not too fussy (I’m sorry, that’s a harsh thing to say) or are straight and working through abuse issues, there are a startling number of men having sex with men and staying reeeeeal quiet about it because the social blowback from being found out gay if you’ve been playing the “We have a great marriage and three wonderful children” game is violent and permanent.

I also think that not a statistically significant number of sex trade workers is being included in the studies.

So the next time you  hear about this big gender disparity between the sexes about ‘how much sex’, remember that virtually all of the difference can be accounted for by prostitution, and there’s probably other stuff in there muddying up the data.

Bridge report

I’m wearing fancy underwear, and you’re likely not.

Oh, is this thing on?  Tap tap tap.

http://www.islandparkcamera.com/index.htm

The above noted link is a webcam to where a bridge will be removed and replaced in 14 hours, someplace in Ottawa.  Link from Spence via Deb.  Here is a delightful excerpt from Deb’s email…

Dear Allegra:

On the subject of bridges … did you hear about this.  Tonight at 8:00 p.m. Ottawa time (it’s 6:41 pm now (actually it’s 7:55 there now so the fun will commence any minute)), the Queensway will be closed.  The bridge at Island Park will be removed using some engineering wonder from Europe and a new bridge put in its place.  I think the whole operation will take 14 hours.  First time this equipment has been used in North America!!

Jim and Spence (may they be blessed) are so excited.  Spence suggested Jim and I take our folding chairs down and watch this magnificent event.  Oh, by the way, don’t ask men “… so where will they put the old bridge until they can break it into small pieces and take it away OR if they put this bridge on the ground to break it up mightn’t it cause the ground under it to collapse.” because the answer I got was an exasperated “you’re missing the whole point”.

Amen, sister….. Missing the point is my SPECIALTY.  Because I’m a gurl.

I have Spanx

and other irrelevancies.  “She” – the proprietor of the Quay Lingerie store on 6th –  said it would take off a dress size; what she neglected to mention was that the set of far from graceful undulations by which one achieves ingress to this garment is what will take the pounds off.  You’ll be sweating with equine effect by the time you’re into it.  I wore it out of the store, I was too exhausted to take it off.
I also purchased an outfit for Sin City.  It’s black and red and meets the minimum criteria.
I’d like to alternately scold and shout out for Keith; he told me and Mike to come by when Janice was sleeping over – at best thoughtless – BUT he did fork over all the remaining Strangers in Paradise which Mike hadn’t yet read, very appropriate since it was Mike that got all of our family (excluding Paul, he never warmed to it) into Strangers in Paradise in the first place.

My hairs have been cut.  I’m wearing a disturbing amount of sealant, tamer, and other assorted mop mung.  Now for more laundry, a brief nap and later, pho on Kingsway.

Weekend continues

Mike appeared looking like he could use a break from plumbing issues.  How many weeks has it been since the drainage went verklemt in the old place?

I need to do laundry, like instantly.  Fortunately Mike, who decided to crash on the sofa last night after slaughtering the last beer, is up so I can start.  He and Paul got on the phone and I must say the part of the phone call I overheard was most entertaining as it had to do with making beer.  Otherwise my conversation with Paul went quite well, and we continue to mosey through the last ten percent of the separation agreement with high levels of communication and trust.  Although not a lot of speed – I’ve been overly engaged in my social life and not sticking to my best interests.

Note to self- make sure people are parked downstairs in the secured lot on weekends.
I sent flowers to Catherine’s mum, who is about five weeks post op, and I send her a special hug.  I will share why this is the case off line with my earflapping posse.  Tact came late to Allegra, but it’s still a welcome thing.  The flower people called me to tell me that the flowers would be not exactly as shown and a day late, but I told them I authorized them to do what was necessary and they are supposed to show up today.
I gotta get daughter Katie’s (and my) passport apps in. And now I gotta run, period, because I’ve got two hours to get some food and get into New West for my haircut….

Hurry weekend

My weekend started with me sitting ON MY BALCONY – literally the first time since I moved in that I sat on the balcony with somebody – and drinking panty remover, which is the nicest thing you can call Mike’s Hard Cranberry lemonade (note to self, bleaaaagh) with a friend.  Fortunately there’s a big jug of fruit juice.  And soon, the salad with hard cooked eggs.
The rest of the weekend hasn’t happened yet.

Katie’s birth certificate FINALLY ARRIVED.  Note how I’ve kept my cakehole shut, because this situation has had me in seizures since the last time I complained of it here.

Other matters remain undecided and likewise sidewise.  I should make phone calls.  Apparently I’m helping with a documentary next week.  More details as they become available.

Also, Sin City.  It’s been an age since I went, and it should be peerlessly entertaining.

Also, I’m thinking of maybe finally buying a television.

I think I’ll finish rewatching Meet the Feebles. I got … uh … distracted, the last time I tried to watch it.