My bad – Page 7 – Allegra Sloman's blog

power failures

3 in one 24 hour period. Killed one of Jeff’s router power supplies. Resetting clocks over and over. Power failures feel weird now; like we’re prepping for the big one, like civil unrest is ‘about’.

Funny tale of waking up: I tossed my fluffy hoody into a laundry hamper but when I woke up this morning it looked like a sandworm head coming out of the floor and I almost squawked in terror.

Biscotti in oven for Tom. I cleaned the racks and wiped down the interior of the oven, it’s started to smell oily and smoky. Soon, Time Team (we’re in the last season unhappy sigh) and running the dishwasher and the rest of the day gets underway.

Total word count 9189 on Best Roommate. In this latest bit, Amorfo came to pick up the sproing and scared the living shit of Keegan.

Watched the movie Synchronic. I liked it – there are some visuals that were quite striking and the basic concept is interesting. It is a B movie – very earnest and low key. The final shot has an element of ambiguity, but it also contains friendship, which is kind of the point. Anthony Mackie is quite good.

I blew an incredible kazoo solo this morning. I can only ask an intemperate universe that Jeff had his gd headphones on.

still no eeg results

I’ll call the clinic again next Monday. Many things slow down over the festive season so even though it was supposed to be ready it probably isn’t, yet.

You know Hudson & Rex is a terrible advertisement for St. John’s, right? One percent of the population is Black and that’s not how the show demographics works…. also…. you know that they have like a murder a year and so in the first episode they blow through the murder rate like theysa going backwards.

Georgia turned blue, but it was the rest of us holding our breath. FUCK MITCH MCCONNELL.

While I’m in the mood, FUCK AIR CANADA.

If that link disappears, it’s to a story claiming that Air Canada is sending influencers on holiday to sunny places to pad their advertising budgets during A GODDAMNED PANDEMIC ….I mean I knew they were slimy bastids but that’s low.

Buns dough is in the bread-maker. I really am fine with never eating white bread again if I can have yummy brown bread buns fresh out of the oven within 2 hours of conceiving the notion.

In 774 AD the biggest coronal mass ejection in 10k years hit the earth. (Per Phil Plait the Bad Astronomer.) If the same thing hit the earth today satellites would plummet, the grid would fail, the internet would fly up its own asshole and choke and it would be weeks in many places and years in others before the power came back on. So thank your lucky stars you only live in an earthquake zone, lol

I’ll be wandering over to Planet Bachelor later today.

Letters to two Daves in the mail today. pOp’s getting a very big sketch of Baby Yoda.

No progress on UPSUN.

Two Daves

Two letters written but not posted today; it’s a Two Dave day.

Jeff’s just asked me to go downstairs and watch a Time Team. Hope it’s something Saxon or Roman. L8r Nope, medieval and Tudor. But really interesting if you’re crazy about remodelling castles for successive waves of improvements in warfare, boom goes the gunpowder.

Alex was here recently and I’m just remembering him being happy about getting a tube shot on the Xenon game and it made me happy in consequence.

Buster was past damp into dripping wet, and filthy when he came back in this morning…. must be horrible to have to clean that crap off with your teeth and mouth blech.

Indian food delivered last night. I was very happy with the quality and quantity for the price. It’s a new place (8 months?) that does pizza and Desi food Pasifika style, which is like, so Vancouver, it hurts.

Chuck Yeager, RIP. His autobiography is most entertaining.

Letter from Onty Mary, and I’m so glad she enjoyed the paper art I put in with a recent letter, that was cheering.

Today has been set aside for One Grim Task. I do not want this task. I do not want the cascade of tasks that will flow from this One Grim Task. I AM DISGUST, SON.

It’s 10:20 in the morning and I am still not nerved up for this gd task. I am actually hitting the old moral GPS for a recalc from my new position and fuck me if it’s not taking a bit longer than any reasonable person might expect. What is it that a reasonable person following Stoic principles might expect? I said I’d write first PHEW AN OUT, I HAVE AN OUT.

With that I must now turn my attention to the real writing I need to do today, otherwise known as Quarantine Porn. And that works whether I’m talking about the UPSUN universe or my rapidly-winding-down interest in writing porny Supernatural fanfic. (Not all of it’s porn, some of it’s just fluff.)

And if I’m not going to write that, I have to go back out into the kitchen and either work some more on The Dark Book – current section is “the Calendar” and it’s fucking MOLOCH this and MOLOCH that, as he drives his diesel dick through history and messes us all up, it’s just standard issue eschatology schlock, that’s part of the point of the poem though, disjointing the specifically English language over and past and through its various levels of inanity, legalism and perverse vagueness through to a new horrific understanding about what ‘end times’ actually means for the people living through it, and you are among those people, and what the hell is this poem anyway (this last aside for my parents, who have long since given up on trying to understand what it is I’m babbling about and reached this question much earlier) — or work on my master grocery list, and I finally figured how I can get what my grocery list looks like in my head to my actual grocery list that I use every week and reinforces how I visualize and operate in the world, but I haven’t done it yet. So I have work to do to advance this project, which will assist me cognitively as my brain declines and I’m still shopping, and which may have applications for other seniors and TBI sufferers. (I certainly wasn’t able to find anything like it on line.) So yeah, projects, in order, depending on what I’m up for mood and skill wize.

Yup, I’m going to wander off and reconfigure my reality right now, be back in a day for an update or sooner if something interesting happens.

One last thing, the ‘writing light’ in the kitchen died and I asked for help from Jeff (my shoulder’s frozen…. that was weird, realizing it) and he touched the apparently dead compact fluorescent and it illuminated and it made me think of pOp. Also Jeff is quietly amazing, the best kind.

Letters, writing, practice, things to do

Wrote two letters, one to mOm and one to tOm, lol. Haven’t posted them yet. One of them has a fake get well card in it (SORRY TO HEAR YOU’RE FUCKIN’ POORLY it says) and the other has a snowflake which if you look very carefully is extremely non standard although it is roughly hexagonal. (There’s a very funny and extremely accidental design in the middle.)

I’m thinking of posting a song a day for a year. I have written enough songs to do that. It would be a horrific thing to take on, but I’m never going to be BETTER at singing and playing, now’s the time to do it if at all. I await a sign from the ancestors that this is a good idea. I will commence in January if I hear back from them.

Romain Grosjean has given his first interview since the crash. It’s remarkable for a couple of things, apart from his sunny gratitude for making it through one of the most horrifying and spectacular crashes in F1 history with no more than burns on his hands and ankles. One is that he admits that he was wrong to whinge about the “Halo” when it was instituted in 2018; the other is that he completely normalizes how YOU SHOULD GET PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP AFTER TRAUMA. None of this shit about gutting it out. He was weeping in the rescue car after the accident (he was burned and had broken several bones) and thank you Romain for being a human being and not endorsing toxic masculinity or trying to hide that when bad shit happens, humans need help. Also, he is one of the few humans to have survived a 53G impact and he crawled 18 seconds later (they’re trained to detach from plugs and harness in 9 seconds) from the FIREBALL of wreckage with a broken foot (the doc didn’t want him to walk but he thought it was important for the fans that he get to the rescue car under his own power and MAN WAS HE RIGHT because our relief when we saw him emerge from that inferno cannot be limned in words). Yay Halo.

@prisonculture sez CYNICISM ISN’T GENERATIVE

pleasant day

Walk in the neighbourhood with Paul, walked the yard to pick up trash, a little bit of laundry, roasted chicken breasts with leftover veg, practice, working on The Dark Book, the new poem/apocalyptic scripture of MOLOCH. Unfortunately I didn’t get to sleep until after one am and it’s now 8:30 so up I git.

And I lied about talking about Supernatural’s unnatural death zero, no more, etc. At least it’s below the cut.

Continue reading pleasant day

my last public words on the subject

updated 25 nov

I told Jeff that watching Supernatural was like having an abusive boyfriend for 4 years (I only started watching late in 2016)

If I’m posting word counts in future it won’t be for fanfic.

Somebody made a canonical list of all the queer people that were killed in the show

I called it.

I was wrong about it being Jensen’s fault, but everything else I got right.

Happy endings are for chumps.

But hey, don’t take my word for it, the aggregators are speaking!:

Hold me to this

Never getting in Paul’s car again unless someone else is driving. I shall not provide details, but I got super screechy

It’s a shame really. Deer Lake Park was beautiful yesterday and I was shaking with rage by the time I got home.

I actually DREAMED about Misha Collins last night. He was in a supermarket being interviewed about his cookbook and said, “My husband and I – ” and then I woke up. He is married to a woman (who wrote a book about threesomes, hey a girl can dream) so this is just fanfic trying to run my life AGAIN.

I’M DYING UP IN HERE

The most recent supernatural episode was one of the most wildly and offensively insipid 45 minutes I’ve ever seen. I obviously missed something. Also, is Lucifer (in this show) really dead because if I never see Mark P.’s punchable snoot again it will be too soon.

11,418

Destiel round up (pretend this is a Private post)

sane people, pls leave – this is in response to Despair ep 18 of the last season of Supernatural.

Original creator of the show Eric Kripke (at least I think that’s who it is) with a rainbow flag and the word COPE:

backstory for the above, fans who only like the relationship between the two Winchester brothers are called bibros. Having Cas (canonically his name is CASS but that’s not what we do in fandom, ha ha) an actual life partner – potentially or otherwise – is making them lose their cheese.

Jesus Christ this above noted post made me laugh so fucking hard

the below-noted post IS IMMEDIATELY WHERE MY MIND WENT AFTER THE SHOW WAS OVER

Yeah NO SHIT, love this callback, although Dean didn’t actually get enough time to say anything

no, I really haven’t, because that’s the kind of love it is, and always has been represented that way, and fuck the haters

now in the fandom they’re saying destiel is what makes Putin resign, which when you consider HOW MANY RUSSIAN FANS THERE ARE is quite possibly the funniest thing about this tempest in a teacup

above is shown the catholic reaction….

LOLOLOL this was the Friday after the show/election

SPN fandom above is memeified in the Avengers universe. Cas disappears during the scene, but he’s already been resurrected three times, so…

I think @solarbirdy’s comments on the above noted complete lack of reaction are best, but she’s a filker so I won’t reproduce her speech without permission

In other words, this represents such an upgrade to the notion of queerbaiting they’ll have to throw out their previous thesis. Also, Tumblr as a social media platform was dying and the extra hits they got as a consequence of Supernatural 15/18 were substantial

Destiel fans often refer to themselves as clowns.

the above-noted isn’t exactly what happened either

nope, not this either and anyone who DOES expect skin should probably give their good ol’ head a shake. I want A HUG FOR THE BOYS that means a little more than the ones they’ve given each other so far.

EVERY G.D. WORD O’ THIS ABOVENOTED POST

palate cleanser

LOOK UPON THE WOMAN WHO SAVED THE WORLD, now we have to survive the next two months OH PS SHE’S OUT ABOUT BEING A SUPERNATURAL FAN but we do not know how she feels about destiel and I would very much like to think that she STANS.

WELL I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT, BUT THERE’S ANOTHER CHASER FOR THAT SHOT

JESUS CHRIST, THIS FANDOM

opinionated lady

Joe Biden a career politician who has voted scarcely at all for legislation that would halt climate change is probably the next President of the United States. probably.

r/pics - Would love to know who took this pic just now in the briefing room

Evan Vucci Associated Press

Okay, this photo in Philly shows Gritty (the Philadelphia Flyers mascot, fucking lunatic and twitter superstar) dressed on a placard as Lady Olenna from Game of Thrones. In the show she’s about to die of poison, but before she goes she passes along a message for villainess Queen Cersei. This is ….. this is Philadelphia claiming that they’re the ones who put paid to Donald…. SO FUNNY)

and others:

Also I’m SO FUCKING ANGRY about last night’s Supernatural episode that I can’t even talk about it rantily let alone rationally. You can only be a gay couple if one of you is dead? Eleven.fucking.years.of.queerbaiting? I HATE YOU BOBO BEHRENS

@lartist

7427

writing back to the world

Yes, there was an election. No, it isn’t settled. Even if the worst happens, the world survived before, and it will keep surviving. My story isn’t done, neither is yours.

This is a long boring text-heavy oversharing post, ya been told.

Continue reading writing back to the world

everything’s got spin, and the spin is in

TFW you want to boast on social media about a gaming accomplishment — but the real point is that it would be virtually impossible for someone with early onset dementia to do what you just did. I broke 5 minutes, I broke 5 minutes AND took 20 seconds off my most recent record. yay Sherlock, my favourite puzzle game for MORE THAN 30 YEARS.

I was supposed to write somebody a letter today…. I’m going to clutch the negligibly small sore spot on my flu shot arm and plead that all I want to do today is vote. Also, there are leftovers, I got mild peri sauce Barcelo chicken yesterday and I found it absolutely delicious.

Various physical signs in my body indicate that my liver is much happier with me eating less carbs and sugar. I still don’t have any way to check my blood sugar. A diabetic friend is really happy with her implant (she’s lost weight in a healthy way, she has needle-like accuracy on her sugars) but I’m hoping to turn the boat around still, so we’ll see.

I reviewed my schedule of habits to develop and I think for the next week I’m going to concentrate on drinking enough water. So every time the clock shows a multiple of three, I should drink a third of a litre of water at minimum, and make less than half my daily liquid consumption tea. Let’s see if I can get this habit established! I’m very well established with an evening routine, so I’m happy about that, and I’ve also stopped looking at the computer at bedtime, which means sleep starts faster and I’m not doomscrolling right before bed.

In the morning, the wifi doesn’t talk to my laptop from 4 am to 7 am. I get much more done in terms of writing, editing and letter writing now during that period since I’m not making myself unpleasant on twitter the entire time. That’s usually the time I mail the letter, if I leave the house for that purpose.

Murder hornet found in BC. How jolly.

Moose eating pumpkin.

Okay I’ll be thinking about this one for a while:

text accompanying a ‘Lower Decks’ graphic: Star Fleet Academy should not be in SF. There’s no canonical indication that the land was ever returned and military school on stolen land is a military occupation.

right okay fine let me kick this in the goolies

How to Stop Being Offended by Everyone (in just 13 steps)

JFC. This woman need a course correction, but I’m not giving her one in the comments. Here’s the skinnified version of what she said:

My being offended is a choice; take a few breaths before responding; consider the source; discern if it was intentional; interrogate the sense of being offended, is it you or the circumstances; locate the part of you that feels victimized; send yourself loving energy rather than going off; listen to the opposing perspective; release yourself of the duty to police other people’s views; wait 24 hours to respond; and I’m quoting #11 in full because it’s SUCH BULLSHIT I WANT YOU TO SAVOUR er EXPERIENCE ITS EXCESSIVELY SHITTY QUALITY: “11. Remind yourself that we are a collective, and that the person that “wronged” you is from the same Source as you. We all have the same “cosmic DNA”. So hating them is hating you”; see the lesson from the offence as a gift; don’t stay offended.

I’ll be simple, I’ll be brief. Imagine giving this advice to a Black person who’s reading about how Black people are terrible workers; to a trans woman who’s experiencing harassment from cis-magats on the internet; to a woman reading something about feminism and allyship from the man who raped her; to an Indigenous person being mocked for eating country food when they could be vegan and ‘save the planet’; or a Jew sent the long-nosed Pepe meme; or a disabled queer person encouraged to just die already and quit ‘draining the public purse’.

THE ADVICE LOOKS DIFFERENT NOW DOESN’T IT. Don’t tell me who I can’t hate, you peccary-approximate clickbaiter. Listen to the opposing perspective when THEY WANT TO KILL ME and or MY FRIENDS. GET FUCKED! NO, SERIOUSLY! AFTER YOU!

Kelly Albano wrote the above noted clickbait. I’d like to annoy her until she drops the pretence that she’s calm, but I have other shit to do today than tell another white woman that she’s totally fucking clueless about how this feel-good advice appears during climate crisis, fascism on the march, destroyed norms of media balance and public behaviour, kids incarcerated and separated from their parents for being brown and poor, and the future of our young people destroyed by crony capitalism. Fuck you, Kelly Albano. Stay in your bubble and quit posting crap.

Yes yes, Kelly, this is advice for something that ‘offends you’ — not for something that’s an existential threat. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, you oft-scratched scab, white women have this tremendous tendency to send shit like this to marginalized people. Yup, I see it ALL THE FUCKING TIME on twitter; they will repurpose this feelgoodery to douchewaddery in four seconds flat and some poor schlub who’s legit angry is going to get told to wind it in by a thirty-five year old white woman who’s never been stopped by the cops for anything and who thinks this shit’s a blessing on a troubled world, when it’s just going to get used to hurt people who aren’t ‘evolved enough’ – Jesus wept – not to get angry when someone’s trying to KILL THEM.

And I’m not talking on twitter about this. The idea that someone I know might forward this shite to a marginalized person who’s suffering is fuckin’ more than I can handle.

the wilds of Coquitlam

I wanted to just post the video of our trek yesterday. No comment, just the train wreck of ongoing wtfery.

Jeff said he wanted to drive somewhere for a client and I made a face. I know how terrible that part of town is (for driving, Coquitlam is quat nahss as far as greenery etc goes) and I wanted to help navigate, so I went in the car with Jeff and almost, but not quite, navigated us into a large scale portal of a Horror Dimension.

Jeff kiboshed the idea of sharing the footage with a right royal Kibosh, because essentially we didn’t do anything but swear at fate, the other drivers, and the signage.

Among other sweary things: the signage on Highway 1 as you drive just short of the Port Mann bridge. The signage as you come off 7B onto Lougheed, which just sucks in conventional terms; the signage that was COMPLETELY OBSCURED BY OVERGROWTH and it’s a fucking good thing I knew which way to direct Jeff to turn; THE FACT THAT NOT A SINGLE FUCKING PLACE OF BUSINESS ON LOUGHEED HIGHWAY BETWEEN THE 7B EXIT AND OXFORD ACTUALLY HAS ITS STREET NUMBER FACING THE ROADWAY.

The footage of us both cursing at all of this will be lost to history, and Jeff’s perfectly happy about that. The joint wail we let out when we saw the grown-over sign, though, that being lost to history mekketh me sad.

The client visit took about twenty minutes.

We solaced ourselves with Mickey D’s and Toim Tayeem.

Finding out that Phil’s ancestors were among the first to move to England – I would have bet money on that.

Yesterday and today

I do believe you have to be human to die of COVID so I’m assuming most of these people are safe. Yes indeed Trump has tested positive for COVID. It’s the biggest security risk possible and Pence must be just drooling over how Trump could be permanently rendered unPresidential. I really only care about Stephen Miller. If I could publicly announce what I intend to do if he dies of COVID I’m not sure any of you would enjoy it. Trump needs to stay alive because Pence is worse.

Tom needs a heart valve. Schedule willing and the surgeon don’t catch COVID he’s having surgery next week. Tom is one of my favourite people and I like Peggy even more than that so the stress and confusion and foreboding they must be feeling is something else and I guess today is the day I get off my ass and make bikkies for Peggy.

I had a really productive day yesterday, (I pulled up the dead vines in the garden, still need to finish that) and wrote a letter to a family member and did a load of laundry and rehearsed on three instruments and worked more on You do me Wrong)) and then lost my cell phone. I mean I hiked a reasonably challenging trail with Paul, whose foot seems completely healed. It’s only 3 k, but we went to Goldie Lake, and I took some great pictures, and then somewhere between the last marker post and the parking lot I lost my phone.

Paul took pictures. I’ll keep bugging him until he answers.

somebody shot heroin in Mt Seymour Park I found the needle.

Did I mention in December we have to stop having that little rent break. It was only 25 bucks a month but there’s nothing like feeling you’re putting one over on your landlord.

Now I have to buy a pomodora clock and a proper alarm clock and go back to a paper/electric calendar. Life is twagic.

My phone was set to send me a notification of my meeting with the RN yesterday but it didn’t go off, and that’s another reason I’m glad I lost my phone.

I hated my phone because at this point 3/4 of my calls were spam or phishing texts or women exhorting me in Toisanese or Mandarin.

I’ve actually wanted to stop having that bill every month. Seventy bucks for shitty service and overages after 2 gigs, **** my **** and then there’s the issue of having a cop in my pocket.

I cancelled my service and had to deal with two humans over half an hour to make that happen. I changed the most important passwords just in case there’s something in my phone that will enable them to get my shit. So Google, the blog, my social media accounts…and I went very crunchy and hard and strong on the passwords this time.

Roses are red

Sydney’s in Australia

courtesy of @thesarahyork

16678

omg @Stonekettle on twitter this morning saying “If you want sympathy look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis” with respect to Trump’s positive COVID test.

red moon rising

last night the Harvest Moon incoming was red as a glass of wine in a streaky sky

Still feeling congested but I distinctly feel more lively today.

Breadsticks. I must make breadsticks. or naan or buns or summat

l8r:ah me, I made Sixer Sticks. LIKE ALL FUCKING CANADIAN RECIPES IT USES MIXED MEASUREMENT SYSTEMS and people wonder how Sumerian and Akkadian survived for 1000 years side by side WAAL LEMME TELL YOU

make bread dough in the machine. Use less salt and sugar and a little more yeast.

Preheat oven to 375

after a second rise roll the dough out around 2 cm thick, ensuring it’s no longer than the pan you’re baking it in. Cut in 2.5 to 3 cm strips and move to a baking sheet with parchment

in a ceramic cup nuke 3 tbsps salted butter 3 tbsps white sugar and lots of cinnamon for 25 – 30 seconds. Apply to naked Sixer Sticks with a pastry brush, (and let me tell you I love my silicone pastry brush, that thing’s a champ) like a gorilla expecting to lick the pot afterward. Try to get all the doughy bits at least brushed with the mixture

Slam those tentacles of goodness in the oven for twenty minutes and yank them out and try not to eat the entire batch while they’re still warm

One of the songs came back to me (the other one vanished), it’s called You do me wrong, and it’s about a woman telling a man that it’s a very good song but please don’t sing it because it reminds me of my dead brother. Yeah, I’m in a fucking terrible mood why do you ask? No this has nothing to do with Jeff and everything to do with John. It’s on Rowena so it’s one of those annoying neotrad tunes that’s really completely modern because it rips at the Empire. I hear fiddle, bowed bass and tambour as well.

Little over a week before Supernatural fires up again. I don’t know if I’ll ever rewatch it after it finishes this November (after the election, so …); if so I’ll wait until Jeff’s desperate for something new and then WAAL THERE ARE 320 EPISODES that’s even more than Time Team, SG1 and ER!

ha ha

fic 16261 and I still haven’t (this para deleted)